9 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples That Can Spark Your Relationship

Here’s a new take on New Year’s resolutions. If you’re in a relationship, think about setting a couple of resolutions with your partner. Making New Year’s resolutions together can help keep the spark in your relationship and even deepen your connection. It can also keep you both accountable, making it more likely that you’ll be successful at your new goals.

Here are nine New Year’s resolutions or goals for couples that you can choose from.

1. Put date night on your calendar

For the new year, consider scheduling a regular date night. This may sound simple, but half of couples report they never go out on date nights or only go out a few times a year. Date nights give you a chance to focus on each other without distractions while also enjoying a dinner out or a fun activity together. 

Married couples who schedule regular date nights are less likely to get divorced. They also report:

• Feeling happier in their relationships

• Better communication

• Feeling more committed to one another

• More sexual satisfaction

You can set a date night for once a week, every other week, or even once a month. Don’t forget to book a babysitter if you need one. 

Date nights can include:

• Trying out a new activity together

• Going out to dinner

• Seeing a movie or a play

• Doing something active, like taking a dance class

• Attending a paint-and-sip event

You can even host your date nights at home. This may work best if you don’t have children at home. Some at-home date night ideas include:

• Snuggling up on the couch and watching a movie

• Playing a board game

• Creating a relaxing at-home spa experience

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2. Share gratitude

Sometimes in relationships, it’s easy to forget to show appreciation for your partner. Feeling gratitude means being thankful for what you have. Practicing gratitude can help you and your partner feel more connected and appreciated. 

Consider starting a gratitude practice as a couple. It may feel awkward at first, but it’ll likely become easier over time. Here are some ways to start expressing gratitude in your relationship:

• Every night before bed, share three things that your partner did that day that you’re thankful for. You can start with one thing if that’s easier.

• Keep an ongoing list of what you appreciate about your partner and share it with them each week.

• Send each other messages throughout the day with notes of appreciation.

You can also practice personal gratitude. Gratitude for positive things in your life can benefit your physical and mental health. Set aside a few moments each day to reflect on what you appreciate about your life. 

3. Carve out tech-free time

With smartphones, it’s easy to spend hours each day working, scrolling social media, or texting with others. When you’re with someone in person, looking at your phone too often can cause a sense of distance or a lack of connection. 

Couples who spend longer amounts of time on social media report spending less time together and feeling less satisfied in their relationships.

For your New Year’s resolution, agree to set aside “tech-free” time as a couple. Examples include:

• Pick a time for a “digital detox.” It could be a few hours in the evenings or one day each weekend.

• Keep your bed as a tech-free zone.

• Make meals tech-free.

• Create a rule or habit of putting down your phone when your partner is talking to you.

Going tech-free can feel strange at first, but it gives you an opportunity to spend quality time together as a couple. You could use this time to talk, play board games, learn a new skill together, or be intimate. 

4. Socialize with friends together

For your New Year’s resolution, commit to going out with friends as a couple. You can aim to do this once a week or once a month. 

While it’s important to have friendships outside of your romantic relationship, it’s also good to have “couple friends.” Socializing with other couples can help highlight things in your partner’s personality that you like. It’s also nice to bring new ideas and personalities into your life so it isn’t always just the two of you interacting.

If you don’t have any couple friends, here are some ways to grow your social circle together:

• Think about whether your own friends and their partners would get along well with you and your partner. 

• Try meeting new couples through group activities. The Meetup app is a great way to find group activities with others who have similar interests.

5. Get active together

If you’re making a fitness resolution, think about making it with your partner. Exercising or playing sports together gives you a different kind of together-time. And you can support each other in your fitness goals, which can help you stick to your resolutions. 

Here are some ideas for fitness New Year’s resolutions for couples:

• Go to the gym together.

• Sign up for a team sport or league. 

• Play pickleball after work.

• Go for a walk or bike ride after dinner.

• Sign up for a yoga or exercise class.

6. Have ‘good’ sex

Setting a goal to have more sex in the new year may seem like a good idea, but research shows that when it comes to sex, quality is more important than quantity. Couples who have more sex aren't necessarily more satisfied in their relationships. Rather, having what each person considers “good sex” is more closely linked to relationship satisfaction.

If you want to create a resolution around your sex life, aim to have better sex. If that also means more sex, then go for it.

Good sex is different for different people. Talk openly with your partner about what you enjoy and what helps you feel closer. This could involve sharing your fantasies or trying new things together, like new positions, sex toys, or role playing.

When you’re trying something new, be open and supportive so you both feel safe exploring your sexuality.

7. Show more physical affection

We all know that more intimacy is good for a relationship, but intimacy is more than just sex. Nonsexual touch, such as hugging, holding hands, and rubbing your partner’s back, can also promote warm feelings in couples.

People may have different needs when it comes to touch. Some may want more touch, while others may feel satisfied with the occasional hug. Talk with your partner to see if either of you want more or less touch in your relationship. Then, explore ways for both of you to feel like your needs are being met.

If you’d like to set a New Year’s goal for couples related to touch, you might try:

• Agreeing to hold hands when out in public

• Snuggling on the couch while watching television instead of sitting apart

• Taking the time to give each other a hug and kiss when you get home

8. Learn something new about your partner

When a relationship is new, you spend a lot of time getting to know your partner. But as the relationship progresses, it’s common to invest less time in learning about each other. 

Relationship experts John and Julie Gottman suggest building “love maps.” A love map means continuing to learn about your partner’s inner psychological world. This can deepen your relationship and help you feel more connected. 

Couples with detailed love maps are better able to cope with stress, conflict, and change in their relationships. Think of a love map as a guide to understanding your partner.

You can build one by asking:

• What are your biggest fears?

• What is your favorite way to unwind?

• What is your ideal way to spend an evening?

• What are your dreams for the future?

9. Choose one thing to accept about your partner

A more personal resolution could be choosing one of your partner’s harmless behaviors or traits that you can accept. Most couples get irritated with their partners for little things, like leaving their socks on the floor or chewing loudly. These habits usually aren’t dealbreakers, but they can be annoying. And they can make you feel mad or even cause you to lash out at your partner.

This resolution won’t work for bigger issues that truly matter to you. For example, if your partner drinks too much and you’re concerned about their health, that’s something you shouldn’t just accept. In that case, you’ll want to work on ways to bring up your concerns and encourage them to get help.

When choosing a harmless trait or behavior to accept, think of all the reasons why this trait or behavior truly doesn’t matter. Think of what you love and appreciate about your partner. When the behavior happens, take a deep breath and remind yourself of all the things you love and appreciate about your partner.

What are the benefits of New Year’s resolutions for couples?

Relationships are constantly changing. Setting couples resolutions for a new year gives you an opportunity to grow together.

Depending on the types of resolutions that you agree to, setting a resolution can help you:

• Feel closer to your partner

• Spend more time together

• Learn more about each other

• Improve your communication

• Feel more appreciation for one another

• Improve your sexual relationship

How to create relationship resolutions together

To start a conversation about setting New Year’s resolutions as a couple, it’s best to approach it positively. Here are some strategies:

• When you introduce the idea, focus on the benefits of making a New Year’s resolution together. 

• Discuss how resolutions can help strengthen your bond, improve communication, and enhance closeness. 

• Avoid blaming your partner or focusing on the negatives, which can lead to defensiveness and conflict.

When deciding on a resolution, take time to talk about what you hope to get from the resolution. For example, if you want to get active together, what do you hope will result from that? Do you want to lose weight, feel closer as a couple, or both? Identifying the “why” behind the resolution can help you stay motivated when your motivation dips.

Here are some other key points to keep in mind when discussing New Year’s resolutions with your partner:

• Take turns sharing your thoughts and ideas.

• Be open to your partner’s ideas.

• Avoid interrupting or attacking your partner.

• Use “we” instead of “you” to keep the focus on each other.

How can I make sure my resolutions stick?

There are a few tips that can help make your resolutions stick. Consider these suggestions when planning relationship resolutions this year: 

• Set realistic resolutions. If a goal is too big or feels too difficult, you’re more likely to get frustrated and give up. Make sure your goals are realistic and achievable.

• Think about the “why.” Write down why you want to achieve a certain goal. You and your partner don’t have to share the same motivation, but it really helps if both of you have a reason for reaching a specific goal.

• Hold each other accountable. Set a date for achieving your goal and check-in dates to review your progress. Write your goals in a visible place so you’re both on the same page. If you use a shared calendar, you can put reminders for check-ins so you both remember. 

• Be patient with yourself and your partner. Change is a process. There may be setbacks along the way, and that’s perfectly OK. Even if you get behind on your milestones, it’s never too late to jump back in. 

• Be flexible and open to change. You may both decide that a resolution just doesn’t resonate or make sense to you as a couple anymore — and that’s OK! You can always revise your plan throughout the year so your goals feel relevant to both of you.

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Written by:

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health professional with over 10 years of clinical experience.

Edited by:

Alex Eastman, PhD, RN

Alex Eastman, PhD, RN, is a California-based registered nurse and staff medical editor at GoodRx, where he focuses on clinical updates and Latino health.

Reviewed by:

Farzon A. Nahvi, MD

Farzon Nahvi, MD, is an emergency medicine physician and author of “Code Gray: Death, Life, and Uncertainty in the ER.” He works at Concord Hospital in Concord, New Hampshire, and teaches at the Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth.

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