What Happens If You Run Into Your Therapist Out in Public?
Key takeaways:
If you see your therapist in public, you can say hello if you wish or not say anything at all.
Your therapist will take your lead and at most will say hello back to you but will probably not engage in conversation to protect your privacy.
Seeing your therapist in public can bring up many different feelings that you can then process in your next session.
Seeing your therapist outside of the office can be an awkward situation. How close you live to your therapist and their office will affect how likely it is that you run into each other.
If this does happen to you, you might be wondering how to respond. Here’s how to handle seeing your therapist in public, including what to do and what not to do.
How to react if you encounter your therapist in public
If you see your therapist out in public, it’s perfectly OK to wave and say hello. It’s also OK to not say anything, if that’s what you prefer. Your therapist will not acknowledge you unless you acknowledge them first.
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There are no laws or ethics around what a therapist should do when they run into a client. But most therapists feel that acknowledging their clients first violates the client’s confidentiality. And there are laws and ethics around confidentiality.
Therapists are required to protect their client’s confidentiality. This means that they must protect their client’s identity and not reveal information about them to anyone without their permission. If you run into your therapist in public, your therapist will want to ensure that they protect your privacy. By saying hello first, they could indirectly reveal that you are a client.
Imagine a therapist running into a client while out with a friend. If the therapist says hello, the therapist’s friend may wonder how the therapist and client know each other. This could lead to a sticky situation.
If you want to say hello to your therapist, it’s best to keep it brief. Avoid talking about anything personal, since other people can overhear your conversation. To avoid revealing anything about you, your therapist may say hello back or not acknowledge you at all. It may feel awkward if your therapist doesn’t engage with you. But they are not blowing you off. Rather, they are doing their best to protect your privacy.
If they do acknowledge you, your therapist will not want to discuss your personal matters in public. This is designed to protect your confidentiality and their own boundaries. If your therapist seems more cold or distant in public, do not take it personally. They are trying to keep contact to a minimum to protect you.
Tips for handling uncomfortable encounters
It might feel awkward to run into your therapist outside of therapy. It may even feel awkward for them, too. Therapists are not accustomed to sharing much personal information with their clients.
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When you run into each other in public, you are exposed to information about your therapist that you might not otherwise know. For example, you might learn that they’re married or have children. If you’re single or struggling to have a family, learning this information can bring up feelings for you.
Here are some tips for handling uncomfortable run-ins with your therapist:
You can wave and say hello, but keep conversation to a minimum.
Don’t take it personally if your therapist seems distant.
Take note of any feelings that come up for you so that you can bring them up in your next session.
How to discuss the encounter in your next therapy session
One of the valuable aspects of therapy is being able to talk openly about the therapeutic relationship. After running into your therapist in public, you may have feelings come up about it. You may also find yourself wondering more about their personal life. Talking through it in your next session can help you make sense of your experience.
Most likely your therapist will bring up the encounter in your next session. If your therapist doesn’t, don’t hesitate to bring it up yourself. They will respond by asking how you felt about it.
Be honest about what came up for you. Seeing your therapist in their personal life may bring up raw emotions like anger or jealousy. This is completely normal. Your therapist is there to help you process these feelings.
If you ask them questions about their personal life, they may not answer them, though. They may instead explore the reasons behind the question to help you better understand yourself and maintain their own neutrality.
What’s the likelihood of running into your therapist in public?
The likelihood of running into your therapist in public depends on factors like:
How close you live to your therapist
The size of your town or city
Whether you have shared interests, needs, or cultures
During the COVID-19 pandemic, many therapists started offering telehealth sessions, and many have continued to do so post-pandemic. This means that if you’re doing telehealth, your therapist could be living outside of your immediate area.
But if you're seeing a therapist who lives in your town or city, there is a much greater chance that you could run into them in public. And if you live in a small town, then the chances are even higher.
There’s also a higher likelihood of running into your therapist if you are both part of a smaller cultural community. For example, Deaf therapists and clients may end up at the same social events because the Deaf community in their town is small.
If you are concerned about possibly running into your therapist in public, it can help to bring this up with them in your session. When you first start therapy, most therapists will discuss how they handle run-ins. But if your therapist has not done so, don’t hesitate to ask them how to manage it if it does happen.
Should you talk to your therapist outside of therapy?
In-depth conversations with your therapist are best reserved for therapy sessions. When you’re in public, other people can overhear what you are saying. It is your therapist’s job to protect your confidentiality. If other people overhear your conversation, then this breaks your confidentiality.
Your therapist also tries to maintain boundaries between their work and personal life. If you encounter them in public, they are technically “off the clock.” Therapists need to practice self-care, and this requires maintaining healthy boundaries. They are not in a position to offer therapeutic support or advice when they are outside of the therapy room and in their personal lives.
The bottom line
Depending on how close you live to your therapist, there is a chance that you could run into them outside of therapy. If this happens, your therapist will take your lead. If you say hello, they may respond back, but will not engage much more than that. Your therapist will be focused on protecting your privacy and will not acknowledge that you are a client. And it’s normal to experience a range of feelings after seeing your therapist out in public. Don’t hesitate to talk with your therapist about it in your next session.
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References
American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Confidentiality. APA Dictionary of Psychology.
American Psychological Association. (2012). Understanding psychotherapy and how it works.
Calkins, H. (2021). Online therapy is here to stay. American Psychological Association.
Hersh, M. A. (2022). Supportive connections and healthy boundaries. APA PsycNet.
For additional resources or to connect with mental health services in your area, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. For immediate assistance, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or text HOME to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
