6 Tips to Get the Most Out of Therapy
Key takeaways:
There are many factors to consider when looking for a therapist, including the therapist’s approach and level of experience.
As a client, you can get the most out of therapy by coming prepared, putting what you learn into practice outside of session, and communicating your feelings about the therapy process.
If you feel like you’re not making progress, it may be that you need to give it more time. Or it’s possible that your therapist isn’t the right fit for you.
Therapy is a type of mental health treatment that can help you gain insights and coping skills and find solutions for issues in your life. It can help people experiencing a range of mental health conditions or life stressors, such as depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief. While the specific goals of therapy may vary, generally it can help you improve your functioning and your ability to cope with negative emotions and life events.
Deciding to seek therapy is a big step. Many people feel nervous and are unsure of what to expect the first time they go to therapy. Read on to learn about six ways to get as much as possible out of therapy.
1. Find the right therapist
One of the most daunting parts of starting therapy is finding the right therapist. There are many therapists out there who can help you. But some will be better suited to you than others.
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To find the right therapist, give some thought to what you are looking for. Consider the following factors when looking for a therapist:
Location: Therapists are licensed in the state(s) where they practice. You will need to find a therapist who is licensed in the state where you are located. If you move or travel out of state, you may not be able to continue with your therapist.
Level of experience: Another factor to consider is how much experience a therapist has. Interns or associates are still in school or have graduated but are not yet licensed. They work under the supervision of a licensed therapist. Licensed therapists have a graduate degree in a mental health field and have met the state requirements to practice. There are many different types of therapists, such as psychologists, social workers, and counselors.
Therapeutic approach: There are many different types of therapy available, from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to psychodynamic therapy. The type of therapy that is right for you will depend on your specific reasons for seeking treatment and your personal preferences.
In-person or telehealth appointments: During the COVID-19 pandemic, most therapists began offering virtual appointments, and many have continued. Deciding between seeing a therapist in person or through telehealth is a personal preference. Some people prefer the ease and convenience of telehealth, while other people feel more comfortable with face-to-face interactions.
Cost: The cost of therapy can range considerably and depends on factors like whether the therapist is licensed; their level of experience, education, and training; their specialties and location; and whether they accept your insurance.
Once you are clear on what you’re looking for, you can find a therapist by:
Asking family or friends for recommendations
Getting a referral from your healthcare provider
Contacting your health insurance company
Searching an online therapist directory
2. Focus on the therapeutic alliance
The therapeutic alliance is the relationship between therapist and client. It is an important part of therapy and plays a significant role in therapy outcomes.
There are three main factors that contribute to a good therapeutic alliance:
Agreement on therapy goals
Agreement on therapy tasks
Bond between therapist and client
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Developing a good therapeutic alliance is a mutual effort. As the client, you can contribute to fostering a positive therapeutic alliance by openly discussing your goals and sharing your thoughts and feelings about the therapy process.
3. Establish therapy goals
Goals are the outcomes you desire from therapy. Having clear goals can help ensure that the therapy process is personalized for you and that you are working toward positive change. In the beginning of treatment, you and your therapist should discuss goals and come to an agreement.
Examples of therapy goals include:
Reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety
Increase self-esteem
Improve ability to cope with emotions like anger or shame
Improve communication and conflict resolution with your partner
4. Communicate your feelings about the process
Individual therapy is a relationship between two people: the client and therapist. Even though therapy is different from your personal relationships, it’s normal to have various feelings about your therapist or the therapy process. What makes a therapeutic relationship different is that you are encouraged to share these feelings openly. This is called a here-and-now approach.
Sharing your feelings about therapy may be uncomfortable at first. But communicating your reactions in therapy gives you and your therapist insight into how you relate to others. Therapists are trained to respond appropriately and help you work through these reactions.
5. Be prepared for your session
Taking some time to prepare for your sessions in advance can help keep your therapy focused on your goals. If your therapist assigns you any homework, be sure to bring it with you to the next session. You can also take some time before each session to reflect on what you would like to talk about.
If you’re having trouble coming up with something, ask yourself the following questions:
How have I been feeling since my last session?
What is the best thing that has happened since my last session?
What is the hardest thing that’s happened?
Where am I in terms of my therapy goals?
Some people will jot down notes between sessions whenever they think of something they’d like to bring up with their therapist. This can be a good practice if you have a hard time remembering these things later.
6. Work toward your goals outside of session
For most people, therapy is only 1 hour per week. But there are ways to put the rest of your time to good use as well. Think of your time outside of therapy as an opportunity to continue working toward your goals. Some of the ways that you can enhance your therapy outside of sessions include:
Journaling
Meditating
Practicing deep breathing and other coping skills
Reflecting on what you have learned in therapy
Developing new habits
Reading self-help books recommended by your therapist
Completing homework assignments
If you’re having trouble figuring out how to use your time outside of therapy, bring this up with your therapist. They can give you some ideas.
What should you talk about in therapy?
There’s no right or wrong thing to talk about in therapy. For many people, therapy is the only place where you can talk about whatever you want without having to filter yourself.
Most people choose to talk about what brought them to therapy, which is usually tied to their goals. For example, if you came to therapy to grieve the loss of a loved one, you’ll probably talk about that. Sometimes other things may come up in your life that take precedence, and that’s OK, too.
Sometimes talking about what’s truly bothering you can be difficult. You may find yourself avoiding difficult topics and instead focusing on other things. Your therapist may point this out and help you face the harder topics that brought you to therapy in the first place.
If you’re still having a hard time coming up with topics, considering the following areas of your life and whether they are worth exploring more in therapy:
Early childhood experiences
Past or present relationships
Unhelpful habits, such as excessive drug or alcohol use
Past traumas
Your values and how they align with your current life
Thoughts and feelings about therapy
What should you do if you feel like you’re not making progress in therapy?
Therapy is not a quick fix. It takes time and work to make progress toward your goals. Research suggests that for about half of people, it takes approximately 15 to 20 sessions to experience improvements. Many people report that it takes around 30 sessions over the course of 6 months to feel like they have reached their goals.
If you feel like you’re not making progress, it’s possible that you need more time in therapy. It could also be that your therapist is not the right fit for you. If you feel like your therapist is not helping you, consider bringing this up to them. A good therapist will be open to working through it with you.
If you feel like your therapist is not right for you, it’s completely OK to find a new one. Not every therapist will be a good match.
The bottom line
There are several things you can do to get the most out of therapy. Finding the right therapist is an important first step. Once you start therapy, you can get the most from your meetings with your therapist by talking about your goals, continuing the work outside of session, and coming to sessions prepared. If you have any reactions to the therapy process, or if you feel like you’re not making progress, consider bringing this up with your therapist.
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References
American Psychological Association Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). Here and now.
American Psychological Association Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). Therapeutic alliance.
Clinical Practice Guideline for the Treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. (2017). How long will it take for treatment to work? American Psychological Association.
Cooper, M., et al. (2018). Working with Goals in Psychotherapy and Counselling.
Norcros, J. C., et al. (2018). Psychotherapy relationships that work III. Psychotherapy.
For additional resources or to connect with mental health services in your area, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. For immediate assistance, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or text HOME to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
