Sober Curious: What Does It Mean, and What Are the Benefits?

Alcohol is one of the most frequently used substances. While some people can moderate their use, others have difficulty controlling it and may use it in harmful ways. 

A 2021 survey found that nearly 30 million people in the U.S. aged 12 and older have had an alcohol use disorder within the past year. With rates so high, many people wonder if they can have a healthier relationship with alcohol without cutting it out completely.

If you’re concerned about your drinking, “sober curious” is one approach you can take. This approach involves taking a closer look at your relationship with alcohol and making changes. This may mean abstaining from alcohol, practicing moderation, or finding a balance somewhere in between. The goal of sober curiosity is to create a relationship with alcohol that works for you.

What does “sober curious” mean?

Sober curiosity involves thinking about your decisions to drink instead of going along with social pressures. This often means:

• Cutting back on alcohol

• Attending social events without drinking

• Going to sober bars

• Avoiding alcohol for periods of time

The sober curious movement is different from complete sobriety or abstinence. People who opt for abstinence cut alcohol out of their lives completely. For many, this may be due to alcohol misuse. Sober curiosity, on the other hand, is a choice to stop drinking or cut back for personal reasons unrelated to alcohol dependence.

Over the past few years, the community of sober curious individuals has grown — especially among young adults. People may be interested in being sober curious as a way to improve their physical or mental health, relationships, or other aspects of their life. 

What is the history of the sober curious movement?

For most of the 20th century, abstinence — or not drinking at all — was considered the only path to recovery from alcohol use disorder. In the 1930s, Bill W. and Dr. Bob founded Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), which advocates complete abstinence from alcohol and other substances. This philosophy dominated the recovery world for decades until other approaches gradually emerged. 

Harm reduction is one example of a different approach. Developed in Europe during the 1970s and 1980s, it later found its way to the U.S. Harm reduction assumes that people will use substances regardless of laws. So, instead of focusing on abstinence, the goal of this approach is to reduce the harmful effects of drug and alcohol use. 

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Harm reduction groups have successfully launched needle exchanges for intravenous (IV) drug users. They’ve also handed out opioid overdose prevention kits and educated the public about the dangers of drinking and driving. Overall, this approach meets people where they are rather than assuming abstinence works for everyone. 

In 2018, Ruby Warrington introduced the concept of sober curiosity in her book “Sober Curious.” This idea led to events, retreats, and a movement focused on tailoring sobriety to individual needs. While sober curiosity shares some similarities with harm reduction, it’s a separate approach. 

What are the goals of the sober curious movement?

Sober curious is a lifestyle for people who may have concerns about their drinking but don’t have alcohol dependence. The goals of the sober curious movement include:

• Questioning your alcohol use

• Increasing awareness of your drinking habits

• Thinking about your decision to drink on each occasion

• Taking breaks from alcohol

• Doing more sober activities

• Spending time in social settings without drinking

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A sober curious approach might be right for you if you:

• Tend to drink socially

• Have thought about cutting back on alcohol

• Don’t necessarily feel the need to quit completely

What are the benefits of a sober curious lifestyle?

The health benefits of being sober curious stem from reducing your alcohol intake. Drinking less can lower your risk for health issues linked to alcohol use. 

These issues can include long-term health effects like: 

• Poor immune system functioning

• Liver disease

• Digestion problems

• High blood pressure

• Stroke

• Heart disease

• Type 2 diabetes

• Cancers of the breast, mouth, throat, liver, colon, and esophagus

Other benefits of adopting a sober curious lifestyle may include improved sleep and less insulin resistance.

Can a sober curious lifestyle have mental health benefits?

Research suggests that light drinking — such as with a sober curious lifestyle — may be linked to a lower risk of depression compared to excessive drinking. Lowering your alcohol intake may also lower your risk of developing other mental health disorders like anxiety.

If you choose to change your alcohol intake, you may also feel more confident and in control of your behaviors. This can help improve your overall sense of well-being. Your relationships and other areas of your life, like work or school, may also improve. Each person is unique and will experience their own benefits. 

How can you incorporate sober curious practices into your lifestyle?

If being sober curious sounds like it may be right for you, here are some steps you can take right now.

Get curious about your drinking patterns

Take time to think about your relationship with alcohol. Maybe you drink socially as a way of dealing with anxiety or as a way to cope when you’re stressed. After noticing your patterns, consider the outcomes of your drinking. 

You might realize that when you drink socially to cope with anxiety, you end up feeling worse after. While alcohol may temporarily mask discomfort, it doesn’t let you face challenges sober. It also doesn’t let you build confidence in your ability to handle difficult situations. 

Or maybe you drink just to go along with social norms. For instance, you may not want to be the only one in your friend group not ordering a drink. But consider the flip side of skipping alcohol, which is that you’re likely keeping yourself healthier by not drinking.

Consider what sober curious means to you

Now that you’re aware of how you use alcohol, think about what a sober curious lifestyle means for you. You may want to attend parties, concerts, or other social events sober and see how it feels. 

You can also think about abstaining from alcohol for a period of time. For example, participating in Dry January is a popular way to take a temporary break from alcohol. 

Build a support network

Make an effort to meet and spend time with other sober curious people. You may already have friends or loved ones who enjoy spending time without alcohol. If not, consider attending a sober curious event. 

Many major cities now have sober bars, coffee shops, and other alcohol-free venues.

Participate in sober activities and hobbies

Whether you choose complete sobriety or not, sober-related activities can be positive for your mental health. Think about what you already enjoy doing without alcohol. Then, consider other things you can try, like:

• Joining a sports team

• Taking a dance or art class

• Attending a mindfulness retreat 

Where can I find more resources on living a sober curious life?

For more information about living a sober curious life, see the following:

• “Sober Curious” by Ruby Warrington — the book that started the sober curious movement

• “Sober Curious,” a podcast by Ruby Warrington

If you’re interested in quitting drinking, then an abstinence-based support group like Alcoholics Anonymous or SMART Recovery may be right for you. 

If you’re looking to gain more control over your drinking without necessarily abstaining completely, consider these self-help organizations:

• Moderation Management, a group for anyone who would like to learn how to drink in moderation

• She Recovers, a foundation for women and non-binary individuals looking to define their own recovery

• Club Soda, a UK-based community of people who would like to drink mindfully and change their relationship with alcohol

If you or someone you know struggles with substance use, help is available. Call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to learn about resources in your area.

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Written by:

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health professional with over 10 years of clinical experience.

Edited by:

Laurie Tarkan

Laurie Tarkan is a senior health editor for general health and well-being at GoodRx. She has an extensive background in health journalism, and wrote regularly for The New York Times for a decade.

Reviewed by:

Patricia Pinto-Garcia, MD, MPH

Patricia Pinto-Garcia, MD, MPH, is a medical editor at GoodRx. She is a licensed, board-certified pediatrician with more than a decade of experience in academic medicine.

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