Can You Text Your Therapist? In Some Cases, Yes.
Key takeaways:
Some therapists will text with clients for scheduling purposes. But many therapists prefer not to communicate about anything confidential over text message.
Therapists consider a lot of factors when deciding to text with a client. This might include your age, your emotional stability, and whether you understand the risks of texting.
Texting isn't always secure. If your therapist does allow texting, make sure privacy safeguards are in place.
Table of contents
Texting is one of the most common forms of communication in today’s world. In the past, texting and therapy didn’t usually go together. But over the past few decades, technology has made its way into the therapy office.
Whether it’s video conferencing, email, or texting, many therapists today are open to different types of communication. Let’s take a closer look at when and how it’s OK to text your therapist, and when you should choose another way to communicate.
Is it OK to text your therapist?
It depends. Many therapists do text with their clients — but that doesn’t mean that it’s right for everyone. It’s up to you and your therapist to decide whether to text, based on many different factors (more on these below).
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If you’re seeing your therapist in person, it might be OK for you to text about brief matters between sessions. This could include:
Requesting an appointment change
Asking a billing question
Letting them know that you’re running a few minutes late
Some therapists allow their clients to text them about other things, too. It all depends on what the two of you have decided together.
Client and therapist factors to consider
When it comes to texting, there are many factors to consider. Some involve you and your personal preferences. Other factors have to do with safety and with your therapist’s professional boundaries.
Before agreeing to text with you, here are some factors your therapist might consider:
Your age: If you’re a child or teen, your therapist will probably talk directly to your parent or guardian — especially when it comes to things like scheduling and billing. Most therapists don’t typically text with an underage client, though some therapists do make exceptions.
Your stability: If you have a lot of mental health crises, texting might not be the best option for you. Most therapists don’t check their phones at all hours, and usually can’t respond to a crisis right away. In these cases, a crisis hotline is often a safer option.
Your level of comfort: If you’re not comfortable texting with your therapist, then don’t. Let your therapist know what other forms of communication you prefer, such as telephone or email.
Your understanding of the risks: Even when therapists put safeguards in place, no method of communication is ever 100% secure. Before texting with you, your therapist needs to know you understand the risks.
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Your therapist will also think about the overall situation, including what type of therapy you’ll be doing together. They may have their own professional opinions, too. These topics could include:
What type of information will you be texting about? Some therapists are open to texting with you about scheduling changes or cancellations — but don’t allow personal information. Other therapists are comfortable texting about more personal things, too.
Where does your therapist work? Therapists who have their own practices can choose whether to text with clients. But if your therapist works in another setting, such as a hospital or counseling center, then they have to follow the rules of that organization. Some hospitals and clinics prohibit texting between therapists and clients.
What type of therapy will you be doing? If your therapist practices psychodynamic psychotherapy, or another therapy where they play a “neutral" role, they might be less likely to text with you. On the other hand, some types of therapy, like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), actually encourage contact between sessions.
Is your therapist comfortable with texting? Just like clients, therapists have their own level of comfort with certain forms of communication. Some therapists, particularly those who have been practicing a long time, may not feel comfortable texting with their clients.
Dos and don’ts of texting with your therapist
While there’s no official etiquette for texting with your therapist, there are some general dos and don’ts to keep in mind.
When it comes to texting your therapist, do:
Agree on what topics are OK. Before texting with your therapist, have an open discussion about boundaries. Make sure you know what topics are OK to text about, and what’s off limits.
Respect their working hours. It’s a good idea to only text during your therapist’s working hours. If your therapist is off on evenings and weekends, then avoid texting them during these times.
Remember that some aspects of communication are lost in text. Text messages lack many important features of communication, like tone and nonverbal gestures. Because of this, it’s easy for misunderstandings to occur. Be mindful that this could happen.
Bring up your feelings about texting in therapy. If you have a reaction to something that your therapist texted you, talk with them about it in your next session. The therapeutic relationship is a safe space to express all of your thoughts and feelings, including how you feel toward your therapist. Your therapist can help you process your reaction and clear up any misunderstandings.
When it comes to texting your therapist, don’t:
Text your therapist when you require an immediate response. If you’re experiencing a crisis or thinking about suicide, you should call or text a 24/7 crisis hotline, like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Use it as a form of therapy. If you’re doing in-person therapy, then texting shouldn’t be a way to share all of your thoughts or feelings with your therapist. If there’s something that you need to discuss with them, it is best to wait until your next session. If you’re worried that you’ll forget or feel like you can’t wait, you can either request an earlier appointment or try writing it down in a journal and bringing it to your next session.
Share anything confidential. It’s best to avoid sharing any confidential information about yourself unless you’re sure that you’re using a HIPAA-compliant texting platform.
Is texting with your therapist secure?
It depends. Standard texting (like through cellphone “messages”) isn’t usually secure, except when certain safeguards are put in place. But there are some secure texting services available, and some are even HIPAA-compliant.
If you do use standard texting, then you should be careful about sharing any private information over text. Don’t hesitate to ask your therapist about what measures they take to keep your communication secure.
And remember: If you don’t feel comfortable with texting, it’s also OK to let them know that.
The bottom line
In some cases, texting can be a good way of communicating with your therapist — especially about basic, nonconfidential information. Talk with your therapist about whether they’re open to texting, and if so, what topics are OK to text about.
If your therapist does use texting, make sure you stick to the topics you’ve agreed on, and only text during working hours. And remember: Most of the time it’s a good idea to save your bigger questions and concerns for when you meet in person.
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References
American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). E-mail and text messaging (SMS).
Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation. (1996). Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996.
Oliveira, P. N., et al. (2018). Phone coaching in dialectical behavior therapy: Frequency and relationship to client variables. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
For additional resources or to connect with mental health services in your area, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. For immediate assistance, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or text HOME to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
