My Diabetes Diagnosis: How I Let Go of Fear and Took Control of My Condition
Key takeaways:
Diabetes runs in Carol Gee’s family.
After she retired from a career in the Air Force, Type 2 diabetes caught up with Carol, too.
At first, she was afraid of her diagnosis. But she learned how to take control of and manage her condition.
My Journey is a series of personal essays about what it’s like to cope with a medical condition.
“How are you feeling this morning?” asked the nurse, whose name tag read Jackie. As she swapped out an IV attached to my arm to slowly lower my blood sugar, she said, “You know, it’s a wonder that you aren’t in a coma — or worse.”
This seemed like the refrain of everyone treating me for Type 2 diabetes throughout my 4-day hospital stay. Hearing it, yet again, I broke down and cried. As a retired, decorated Air Force veteran — a warrior — I seldom cried.
“Are you having any pain?” nurse Jackie asked, noticing my tears.
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“No,” I replied. “I guess hearing how sick I am finally hit me.”
Type 2 diabetes runs in my family. My maternal grandfather, who passed away before I was even born, had it, as had a favorite uncle. And one of my aunts was diagnosed with it when she was in her late 50s.
We called it ‘having the sugar’
“Having the sugar” or having “sugar diabetes” were just a couple of the ways my family described having Type 2 diabetes. Everyone claimed it came from eating too many sweets. Their complications ranged from dry mouth to fluctuating blood glucose and yeast infections, in the case of my aunt. So I really, really feared getting it.
I had to disclose my family’s medical history on the tons of paperwork required when I enlisted in the Air Force. While serving, I was periodically tested for it. By the time I retired, I thought I had dodged the “sugar bullet,” and I finally allowed myself to exhale.
Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come.
Diabetes finally caught up with me
I learned that my undergraduate university was awarding me their alumni Special Achievement Award, 30 years after I graduated, for my mentorship and books that empowered women and girls.
The university was inviting me on an all-expenses-paid trip to South Dakota. I was elated. I was in the middle of helping my husband, Ronnie, navigate through a health crisis. And I longed to take him on a little getaway to celebrate his progress.
We had been stationed at the air base near Rapid City years before. So I was excited to see how it had changed. We’d just approached the rental car desk at the Rapid City airport when I realized that my mouth had gone completely dry. I was so thirsty. Frightened and with my hand shaking, I quickly signed the rental car forms, handing the keys to Ronnie.
“Do you want me to stop and get you something to drink?” Ronnie asked, looking worriedly at me when I was finally able to tell him what had just happened. Pulling into the first gas station we saw upon exiting the airport, he bought a Diet Coke for himself and a bottle of water for me, which I quickly guzzled down.
Unbeknownst to me, my blood glucose had been creeping steadily upward to an extremely dangerous level. Extreme thirst, lethargy, and frequent trips to the restroom marred my entire weekend. Riding in the lead car during the parade, I crossed my legs and concentrated on not needing to go to the restroom.
Back home and still feeling unwell, I went to the hospital where Ronnie worked. Pricking my finger, the ER doctor said, “You have Type 2 diabetes. Your blood glucose is so high, we need to admit you, immediately.” My blood glucose reading was 900 mg/dL.
Thus began my diabetes journey.
‘Fear gripped me’
Since I was sleeping pretty much around the clock the first 2 days, it wasn’t until much later that I began to understand how my diagnosis would impact me. Disbelief and fear gripped me. Fear of the complications of which I was aware battled with the fear of those yet unknown.
The third day of my hospital stay, a diabetes education specialist came to see me. She said I’d need insulin for some time, maybe even the rest of my life. With a friendly bedside manner, she handed me a small vial of insulin and a syringe. My hands shook so badly, I nearly dropped the vial.
“Now, pinch a little belly fat and slowly inject the syringe into your stomach,” she instructed. At least my belly fat was good for something, I thought.
By the fourth day, my blood glucose had reached a safe enough range that I could be discharged. Back home, I spent a few days hosting a pity party for one — complete with a party hat. For starters, my vision was so blurry that I could barely see. (Extremely high blood sugar can affect a person’s eyes.) But, once my vision cleared, I realized I had to put aside my emotions.
Having been my husband’s health advocate the past few years, I knew that I now needed to be my own, starting with learning as much as I could about this scary disease.
Having diabetes can feel overwhelming
At first, everything was so overwhelming. I had to stick myself to test my blood glucose throughout the day. I had to remember when and how to take my medication, including both a fast-acting and slow-acting insulin. I had to learn what I could eat and what I shouldn’t. And I needed help.
Finding an endocrinologist within my insurance network — something the diabetes educator had suggested — was huge. On my first visit, the endocrinologist checked my hemoglobin A1C, and listened to my heart. She also examined my feet, sticking each with a toothpick to determine whether I was experiencing any numbness or nerve damage because of my diabetes.
I learned that my condition is manageable
I had to face the facts. There is such a thing as having too much sugar in your system. And I had to learn how to manage my blood sugar.
I remembered my diabetes educator telling me, “You know that diabetes is manageable, as long as you have a plan.” That was like music to my ears.
I began by limiting carbs, including bread, potatoes, and rice. I learned which carbs were beneficial. And I found out that the goal, according to my research, was balancing them throughout the day.
From experience, I already knew diabetes affected the eyes. But I learned that it could affect my gums, as well. As a result, eye and dental exams became part of my diabetes management regime. Gradually, things began to fall into place.
I’ve come a long way since my journey began 14 years ago. As for the chick who hated needles, injecting myself these days is no biggie. And I have numerous diabetes “hacks” to help me navigate my day to day.
I pack my meds in either my carry-on suitcase or a large purse when I travel. That way, I know I’ll have everything on hand if my luggage gets lost or delayed. I also carry an empty medicine bottle to throw away my sharps, test strips, and lancets when I’m on the go.
Learning that I could take control of my diabetes was a game-changer. I did my research and came up with an action plan. I also learned to be my own advocate and to take good care of myself.
Now, I’ve stopped living in fear. And that allows me not only to survive but also to thrive.
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