Key takeaways:
Alexithymia is when a person has a hard time recognizing and expressing emotions.
People with alexithymia can have trouble with relationships, since it’s difficult for them to understand and respond to other people’s emotions.
Alexithymia is linked to many different physical and mental health conditions, including autism.
Everyone has emotions, like anger, sadness, fear, and joy. Your emotions affect how you behave, and they can even cause physical responses in your body.
It can be tough to understand your emotions sometimes. But it’s important. After all, understanding your emotions — and other people’s emotions — is a key part of life for many people. It can help build strong relationships and make it easier to navigate the world around you.
But for some people, it’s especially challenging to identify and express emotions. This is called alexithymia. Let’s take a closer look at what alexithymia is, how to identify it, and who’s most likely to experience it.
The word alexithymia comes from Greek. It roughly translates to “lack of words for emotions.” And that’s just what alexithymia is: Trouble understanding your feelings and putting them into words. People with alexithymia also have a hard time being aware of their emotions.
Alexithymia can be very mild. Or it can be more severe. It can affect your relationships and make it hard to understand conversations or social situations. And it can lead to challenges at work, school, and home.
Alexithymia isn’t a mental health condition. But it can occur alongside other mental health disorders, like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
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Having alexithymia can affect many areas of your life, including your relationships and health. It can also make you feel “off” when you’re having emotions but aren’t able to describe them.
Here are some examples of challenges you might face if you have alexithymia:
Having conversations: You might focus on logic or details, rather than feelings. This can make it hard for other people to understand what you mean or what you want.
Going to therapy: If you see a therapist, it might be easier for you to talk about physical concerns instead of emotions. And answering direct questions about your feelings can be tough, which can sometimes make it hard to connect with your therapist.
Spending time with other people: You might struggle to “read the room” when spending time with other people. It might seem like everyone else understands what’s going on, but you’re left out. You might also be unsure how to respond to other people’s emotions or to comfort them when they’re upset.
Navigating a romantic relationship: You might have a hard time connecting with your romantic partner, especially during an argument, or when you’re being intimate. Your partner might feel like there is emotional distance between the two of you. It might also be difficult for you to understand what’s happening when your partner is upset — or even why they’re upset in the first place.
Managing your health: Many people with alexithymia have physical or neurological symptoms with no clear cause. You might have pain, physical discomfort, or other health concerns that are hard to treat.
There are many causes of alexithymia. It can be a personality trait that’s been with you since childhood. Or it can develop later in life. Some of the common causes are:
Your genetics
Your brain development in utero
Psychological stress or trauma
Chronic health problems
Brain injury
Stroke
About 1 in 10 people have alexithymia. Just like other personality traits, it seems to be equal between men and women. It’s more common among people with certain mental health disorders, including:
Anxiety disorders
Depression
Eating disorders
Substance use disorders
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
Autism
There is also a link between alexithymia and certain medical conditions, such as:
Diabetes
Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD)
High blood pressure
Heart attack
Asthma
Allergies
Cancer
No, alexithymia isn’t a type of autism. But it’s common in people with an autism diagnosis. One study found that just over half of teens with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) had alexithymia. For comparison, about 15% of teens who didn’t have ASD had alexithymia.
Both autism and alexithymia involve differences with understanding and noticing internal signals, known as interoception. Interoception helps us be aware of our emotions. When you have trouble with interoception, it makes it hard to notice your emotions. And when you don’t notice your emotions, it’s harder to understand them.
There’s definitely an overlap between autism and alexithymia. However, they’re not the same. Autism refers to a wide range of conditions that begin in early childhood. Alexithymia isn’t a disorder. Rather, it’s a psychological construct or personality trait.
There’s a strong link between alexithymia and mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. Encouraging your loved one to seek professional treatment can go a long way.
Therapy can help people with alexithymia improve their skills in this area. But they may struggle with expressing themselves emotionally. Many times, working with an understanding and skilled therapist can go a long way.
As a family member or friend of someone with alexithymia, you can help by:
Educating yourself on alexithymia: Learn about alexithymia and what it’s like to live with it. If your loved one is also dealing with a condition like autism or anxiety, learn about those too.
Practicing empathy: It can feel frustrating when a person with alexithymia has difficulty expressing their own emotions or responding to yours. Remember to be empathetic. After all, everyone expresses themselves differently, including people with alexithymia.
Empower rather than shame: Don’t shame your loved one because of their alexithymia. Instead, empower them to work on it. Remind them that they can get better at naming and understanding emotions.
Having a loved one with alexithymia can be challenging. Be sure to find healthy outlets to express your own emotions and needs. And if your loved one isn’t able to meet all of your needs, consider reaching out for additional sources of support.
Alexithymia is when you have trouble identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions. It can be caused by many different things, like trauma, brain injuries, and even your genetics. Alexithymia is linked to many mental and physical health conditions too.
Alexithymia is common among people with autism and mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. If someone you know is dealing with alexithymia, try to educate yourself, get support when needed, and empower them to improve their emotional awareness. Remember to practice empathy, too, especially since people express their feelings in many different ways.
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For additional resources or to connect with mental health services in your area, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. For immediate assistance, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or text HOME to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.