Key takeaways:
A bad therapist might have poor ethics, bad boundaries, and questionable therapeutic skills that could actually worsen your symptoms rather than improving them.
Good therapists are kind, respectful listeners. They use effective therapy interventions and have strong ethics.
You should feel comfortable discussing your concerns with your therapist. If they are not a good match, you should feel free to break up with them and find a different one.
Having a great therapist can transform your life. Meeting with a trusted source of mental health information can reduce your symptoms and improve your well-being.
A good therapist helps you recognize and successfully address your mental health concerns; you trust them and have confidence in the process. Sometimes, though, a therapist may do their best to help you, but it’s not a good match. This doesn’t mean the therapist is “bad”; it’s just a poor fit.
Then, there are bad therapists. Though relatively rare, these people act in ways that are unethical or even illegal. In the worst situations, bad therapists can cause you pain instead of helping you to progress.
What are signs of a bad therapist?
Bad therapists are those who do not follow the legal, professional, and ethical standards set by the mental health profession. Below are some nine examples of practices and behaviors that might be exhibited by a bad therapist.
1. They try to have a romantic relationship with you
One of the most obvious signs that you have a bad therapist is that they try to have a romantic, physical, or sexual relationship with you. Under no circumstances should a therapist touch you or speak to you in a sexual way.
You might think that this never happens. But every year, therapists are accused of having sexual relationships with current or former clients. Even if these relationships feel consensual, it’s considered an abuse of power on the therapist’s part.
2. They talk about themselves too much
All therapists use some amount of self-disclosure, the clinical term that refers to revealing aspects of their own life. At times, self-disclosure can help therapists build trust and rapport. But you don’t need to know everything about your therapist — or spend too much time learning about their life instead of focusing on your goals.
Therapists talking about themselves too much is also a form of a boundary violation. When a therapist tells you too much about their life, they’re using up your time for their own gain. And in some cases, therapists may reveal inappropriate personal information that has no place in therapy.
3. They don’t have good boundaries
Having poor boundaries is almost always a sure sign of a bad therapist. A therapist who reveals too much about themselves or tries to have sex with you are two examples. But not having good boundaries can also present in a number of ways that you may not expect.
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For example, your therapist could have issues with boundaries if they:
Cut sessions short or let them go longer than expected
Charge you more or less than your agreed-upon fee for therapy
Cancel appointments on short notice
Expect or encourage gifts from you
Meet with you in their home, a restaurant, or another setting that doesn’t allow for privacy
Having a therapist with poor boundaries may seem appealing at times. But, in reality, it will create problems at some point.
4. They act in ways that are unethical
All licensed mental health professionals must follow legal and ethical guidelines set by the state where they practice. Whether they are a psychologist, counselor, or social worker, they must abide by these rules to maintain their license in good standing.
Ethical standards are designed to keep clients safe and ensure they get the best care. Some therapists may try to skirt around these ethical standards. And when they do, it can harm their clients. In many states, violating ethical standards is also illegal.
Therapists who aren’t following ethical standards might:
Practice with an expired or suspended license
Lie about their credentials and license
Advertise their services and qualifications in a misleading way
Violate client confidentiality
Fail to keep accurate notes and records about clients
Neglect to obtain informed consent about what to expect in therapy
Continue to work with clients who need a higher level of care
5. They do something that’s illegal
In addition to behaving unethically, a bad therapist may act illegally. If your therapist seems to be taking legal shortcuts or liberties, that’s a bad sign.
In some situations, a therapist’s bad behavior can land them in jail or result in hefty fines. These might include:
Committing insurance fraud
Failing to report child or elder abuse
Providing drugs or medications to clients
Practicing therapy under a false identity
6. They try to have a relationship with you outside of therapy
Therapists and clients are meant to have a clear, professional relationship. A bad therapist may try to form additional relationships — called dual relationships — with a client outside of therapy.
Examples of dual relationships can include:
Starting a business with you
Hiring you to perform a service
Teaching you as a student
Developing a friendship with you
For example, your therapist should not try to go into business with you or hire you to perform a service. If a therapist hires you to paint their house, they are now your therapist and your boss. This puts the therapist in an unfair position of power and control, because you may feel obligated to take the job to keep your therapy spot.
In most cases, dual relationships are inappropriate, unethical, and may even be illegal.
7. They use a type of therapy that doesn’t work
A bad therapist may use a form of treatment that is not appropriate for your condition, symptoms, or history. In some cases, this means experimenting with a treatment that seems popular, even though it is unproven and unregulated.
Some examples of treatments that experts consider potentially harmful are:
Rebirthing
Hypnotic age regression
Therapy to recover repressed memories
In addition, therapists should stay within their scope of practice and scope of competence. This means they’re only offering types of treatment they have adequate training in. If a therapist is new to a treatment or condition, they should be taking training and getting consultation or supervision.
When starting therapy, feel free to ask your therapist about their treatment style and training. Ask how they believe their skills will help your situation. Good therapists will happily give you this information. And you can do extra research based on what they tell you.
8. They dismiss or discriminate against your culture or identity
Cultural competence — the ability to work with and honor people from different cultures — is written into many ethics codes. Even if your therapist doesn’t have a lot of knowledge about your cultural background or identity, they should:
Make an effort to learn
Show empathy and understanding
Refer you to a more appropriate provider if needed
Many therapists get it wrong when it comes to other cultures, especially when a client isn’t white. You’re never obligated to educate your therapist on your culture if you don’t want to. But a truly bad therapist may outright ignore, deny, or try to suppress your culture or identity. They may also try to impose their values on you and pathologize your cultural values and experiences.
9. They don’t pay attention to you during sessions
Therapists are human, so it’s normal for even the best therapists to be bored or distracted at times during sessions. However, these moments should be fleeting. Bad therapists may make it a habit of not paying attention to you during sessions.
A bad therapist who habitually doesn’t pay attention may:
Check their phone during your session
Return texts or phone calls during your session
Be falling asleep or struggling to stay awake
Fail to listen to you and miss important information or questions
Clearly be looking at something off screen during a telehealth session
How do I know if my therapist isn’t the right fit for me?
If a therapist isn’t a good match for you, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bad therapist. But it’s not always easy to tell the difference. We covered some signs of a truly bad therapist above.
Here are some signs that may mean your therapist just isn’t the right for you:
You feel awkward well into the relationship.
Your schedules don’t match up.
Your insurance changed or the fee is too high.
You don’t seem to be getting better.
They don’t use the therapy techniques you’re looking for.
Who do I talk to if my therapist makes me feel bad?
If you’re comfortable, let your therapist know about your concerns. Most good therapists will work to understand your point of view and plan ways to adjust the course of treatment. And if it turns out you and your therapist aren’t a good fit, your therapist can help you find another provider.
If you don’t feel safe talking to your therapist, you have other options. Seek out another mental health professional to talk through your concerns with. They can help you understand what isn’t working for you in therapy and provide guidance on next steps. They can also help you with referrals and navigating ending the relationship with your current therapist.
In serious cases, you also have the option to report a bad therapist to their licensing board. Some situations, like a therapist’s inattention during sessions, don’t warrant a call to the licensing board. But others — such as an expired license, insurance fraud, or a sexual relationship with a client — do. However, you’re never obligated to report a bad therapist.
Your therapist’s licensing board depends on the state they practice in and their specific license. Your therapist should include their license type — such as LMFT, LCSW, PsyD, or LPC — on their website or the forms they give you. You can then look up the appropriate licensing board by state via Open Counseling.
The bottom line
Though they’re rare, bad therapists who don’t follow basic legal and ethical practices are out there. This could mean trying to have sex with you, often showing up late for appointments, talking about themselves too much, or answering text messages during your sessions. A bad therapist can prevent you from meeting your goals or can even harm your mental health.
If you believe you have a bad therapist, it’s often best to end the relationship. Reach out to another mental health professional if you need help severing ties with your therapist. And know that the right therapist for you is out there.
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References
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