5 Mental Health Tips for Surviving the Holidays

The holidays often come with high expectations: joyful gatherings, perfect meals, and endless celebrations. For many, that also means increased stress, tension with family members, or a feeling of being overloaded. 

Societal pressure can also make the holidays a complex time, when navigating your feelings and supporting your mental health can be challenging.

Therapist Saba Harouni Lurie, the 40-year-old founder of Take Root Therapy in Los Angeles, says she always notices a shift around the holidays and has specific ways to get through this time of year. Here, she shares five actionable mental health tips to help you set boundaries, reduce stress, and make the holidays feel more manageable and meaningful. 

1. Begin with self-awareness 

Many people feel pressured to meet holiday expectations without considering their own needs, which can lead to stress, Saba says. That’s why she prioritizes self-awareness.

“So many of us operate like [we’re] on autopilot to say yes to every invitation,” she says.

Feeling obligated to accept invitations can be difficult for people who put others' needs before their own. But prioritizing self-awareness can help you decide which invitations to accept or decline based on your own needs, Saba says. “It’s a decision, not an automatic reflex,” she says.

2. Identify and set boundaries

Setting boundaries can make the holidays more enjoyable. Saba learned this after having children and creating new family traditions that worked for her family. “I finally felt free to create my own rituals,” she says. 

Setting boundaries may mean limiting time with extended family or scheduling get-togethers for after the holidays. Saba suggests showing appreciation for invitations but being clear on your needs. 

“There are ways to invest in relationships that are important to you and also care for yourself,” she says.

3. Adjust your expectations

Letting go of having “the perfect holiday” can relieve stress, Saba says. Try to remember, it’s OK if everything doesn’t go as planned. 

“I prepare to adjust my expectations and find ways to connect with my family, even if it’s not ideal,” she says of going into the holiday season. 

Celebrating the holidays with friends when she was younger taught Saba the value of finding joy in imperfect settings. Today, her holiday gatherings are focused on sharing time with those she genuinely wants to celebrate with, remembering that there’s no “right way” to do that.

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4. Remember that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing  

If big gatherings feel overwhelming, try taking a more flexible approach to attending get-togethers. Saba recommends starting with small adjustments, like setting a time limit for how long you’ll stay at holiday events or bringing a friend for support. 

She suggests asking yourself: “How can I adjust this time to make it feel more manageable?” For her, deciding to go to a gathering for 2 hours or bringing someone who makes her feel at ease can be enough. 

She also finds that prioritizing quality time with people — playing games or having potlucks — over gift-giving helps her enjoy the season more. And she encourages others to think about how they really want to spend their time.

5. Learn to take space and breaks

On a recent trip, Saba says, she realized that being around family the whole time wasn’t working. She realized she needed some time apart to recharge. And while talking about it felt complicated, she found that it ultimately helped.

Saba has also learned the importance of taking breaks during other types of social events. Whether it’s stepping outside for a few minutes or taking a walk, these breaks can help you return to the festivities with more energy, she says.

“Get to know what you need so that you can show up and be your best self,” she says.

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Written by:

Rebecca Samuelson, MFA

Rebecca Samuelson is a Bay Area poet from Hayward, California who writes from the intersection of caretaking and grief. She holds a MFA in creative writing, with a concentration in poetry, from Saint Mary’s College of California.

Edited by:

Tanya Bricking Leach

Tanya Bricking Leach is an award-winning journalist who has worked in both breaking news and hospital communications. She has been a writer and editor for more than 20 years.

Reviewed by:

Patricia Pinto-Garcia, MD, MPH

Patricia Pinto-Garcia, MD, MPH, is a medical editor at GoodRx. She is a licensed, board-certified pediatrician with more than a decade of experience in academic medicine.

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