7 Warning Signs Your Child May Be Thinking About Suicide
Key takeaways:
Common warning signs of suicidal intent in young people include major mood changes, a sudden decline in school performance, a focus on death, or no longer hanging out with their friends.
It can be hard to know whether a youth’s behavior is cause for concern. But there is a difference between the typical mood changes that often accompany puberty and signs that a young person might be unsafe.
If you’re worried about a young person, you can reach out for help through your child’s school, a suicide prevention hotline, or with the help of a mental health professional.
Table of contents
The topic of youth suicide has been gaining momentum in recent years. Rising suicide rates among young people have left parents, educators, and other youth advocates wondering what they can do to prevent a crisis.
This is a nuanced topic, and each situation is unique. However, one of the most important things you can do to help prevent youth suicide is to learn more about it. While it can be a difficult topic to discuss, familiarizing yourself with the warning signs and available resources could help save a life.
Warning signs of suicide in youth
Sometimes, knowing whether a youth’s behavior is cause for concern can be difficult. After all, the tween and teen years are full of all kinds of mood and behavior changes. So how does a parent or guardian know the difference between a developmentally appropriate behavior and something unsafe?
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If a young person exhibits any of the following signs, they may be thinking about suicide and likely need support (see resources below for how to help).
1. Making suicidal statements
When a young person says something like “I wish I were dead,” or “Everyone would be better off without me,” adults should take these statements seriously. People who commit suicide often give warning signs beforehand. Statements like these, whether delivered in person, in writing, via text, or on social media should not be ignored.
2. Showing significant mood changes
Depression is a leading cause of suicide in youth. But a young person does not need to have a formal diagnosis to be at risk.
If a young person shows any of the following signs of major depression, they likely need support:
Withdrawing socially
No longer interested in activities they used to enjoy
Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Sleep impairment
Appetite changes
Frequent irritability or anger
Loss of attention to hygiene
Sudden and major shift in mood or personality
3. Suddenly performing poorly in school
There are many reasons why a young person may begin to struggle academically. But if their grades suddenly drop or if they no longer turn in assignments, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
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4. Focusing on death or suicide
If a youth begins frequently talking or writing about death or suicide, adults should intervene. This could occur in essays, poems, artwork, or other school assignments, on their social media, or in everyday conversation.
5. Giving important possessions away
Adults should take action if a young person begins making final arrangements. This could include giving away important belongings, saying goodbye to loved ones, or anything that suggests a youth believes their life will soon end.
6. Making attempts to hurt themselves
Youth who experience suicidal thoughts or other mental health difficulties may try to cope with their pain by hurting themselves. This could include self-harm — such as cutting or burning. But it could also be taking risks that could lead to getting hurt, such as driving too fast or jumping out of tall trees.
7. Misusing substances
There’s cause for concern anytime a youth begins misusing drugs or alcohol. But if this change occurs alongside other suicide risk factors (such as those in this list), take steps to keep the young person safe.
What should you do if a child is in crisis?
If you believe a child has suicidal thoughts, help is available. Try to stay calm as you take steps to find support. Talk to your child to assess the situation. Let them know that you care about their safety and they’re not in trouble (see below). Remember, they are safe while in your presence. However, if there is imminent danger, dial 911 to contact emergency services or head to the nearest emergency room.
If the situation is not an emergency and you’re in a school, medical environment, or community setting, follow your organization’s crisis response guidelines. If you’re a parent or other concerned adult, you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988 from any phone.
You can also contact local crisis services for support, if available. These organizations can walk you through recommended next steps and connect the youth with resources to keep them safe.
How to talk to a child who’s having suicidal ideation
Suicide isn’t a comfortable topic for many people. So if you’re worried about a young person but you’re not sure how to talk to them about suicide, it’s OK. Just keep in mind the following tips, and remember that one uncomfortable conversation could save a life.
Make mental health a topic of everyday conversation
Make mental health a topic of everyday conversation before a crisis occurs. Of course, this isn’t always possible. But talking about changing feelings and normalizing mental healthcare can make it easier to talk about suicide later on.
Don’t be afraid to say the word ‘suicide’
This is not a time to be indirect. If you have concerns, say something like “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” Or, “Are you thinking about killing yourself or wishing you could go to sleep and never wake up?”
Make sure the question is non-leading. In other words, don’t say, “You aren’t having thoughts of suicide, are you?” because this might lead to an answer that isn’t honest.
Resist the urge to try and focus just on the positive
Resist the urge to tell the young person about all the positive things they have going for them. Instead, hold space for their feelings, even if they make you uncomfortable. Reflect whatever they share back to them in a compassionate way.
Say something like, “I hear you saying you wish you weren’t here right now, that must feel awful. We’re going to figure out a way to get through this together.” You can honor a young person’s feelings without agreeing with them.
Focus on safety
Sometimes, young people worry about the outcomes of sharing suicidal thoughts. So in these conversations, stress that you care about their safety first and foremost. Let them know that they aren’t in trouble. Tell them it takes strength and courage to talk about their feelings and ask for help.
Ask for input from your child
Involve the young person in next steps in a developmentally appropriate way. Let them know what you need to do to help keep them safe. Remind them that you’ll always be there for them and that they aren’t alone. Continue to follow up with them after they begin receiving support.
Risk factors contributing to suicide among youth
There is no single known underlying cause of suicide. But according to the research, the following risk factors may put a young person at greater risk:
Having a family history of suicide
Having strained family relationships
Going through a major loss
Having easy access to things that could be used for harm, like guns or weapons, knives, or medications
Having co-occurring mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or a psychotic disorder
Not having access to mental healthcare
Being exposed to unsafe suicide coverage in the media
Engaging in substance misuse
Frequently acting impulsively or aggressively
Withdrawing socially and preferring to spend time alone
Having a significant trauma history
On the other hand, protective factors can help balance out any suicide risk factors in kids. Protective factors that can help keep kids safe include:
Having strong coping skills
Being able to identify reasons for living, such a friends, pets, or favorite activities
Feeling connected to their cultural identity
Having supportive relationships with adults and peers
Being able to access mental health resources
Not having easy access to the means of suicide such as guns or medications
Mental health support and resources for children and parents
If there’s a clear and present safety concern for a young person in your life, dial 911 immediately. If there isn’t an immediate safety concern, the following mental health resources can help you keep a child safe.
The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is 24/7, free, and confidential support for people in distress. You can call or text this number from any phone. The person you speak with can connect you with local crisis resources for yourself or a young person.
The Crisis Text Line is another resource that can connect you to a trained crisis counselor for free. You can access it by texting 741741 from anywhere in the U.S.
To find local resources, contact your state’s crisis hotline. They can direct you to organizations in your community and help you find mental health support for youths.
Check out this guide for navigating a mental health crisis. It was published by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and contains information on how to access mental health treatment in the face of a crisis.
The bottom line
Suicide isn’t straightforward. But when a young person shows signs of major depression, starts giving away important possessions, or talks a lot about death, these may be suicide warning signs.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, friend, or loved one, you can play an important role in preventing youth suicide. It starts by making mental health a topic of everyday conversation and speaking up if you’re worried about a young person in your life.
While these conversations aren’t always easy, they can make all the difference. Remember, if you’re worried about a young person, you aren’t alone and there are resources available.
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References
Akkas, F. (2023). Youth suicide risk increased over past decade. Pew Trusts.
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology. (2021). Suicide in children and teens.
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. (n.d.). Teens and suicide: What parents should know.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2014). The relationship between bullying and suicide: What we know and what it means for schools.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). Risk and protective factors.
Colman, I. (2018). Responsible reporting to prevent suicide contagion. Canadian Medical Association Journal.
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (n.d.). Navigating a mental health crisis.
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (n.d.). What you need to know about youth suicide.
Nevada Division of Public and Behavioral Health Office of Suicide Prevention. (n.d.). Youth warning signs.
The Jason Foundation. (n.d.). Warning signs.
