How to Hold a Baby (and What not to Do)

Key takeaways:

It takes time and practice to learn how to hold a newborn baby. Don’t be afraid to try different positions to figure out what works best for you and your little one.
There are many different ways to hold your baby while nursing. You can try out the football hold, cradle hold, koala hold, or a laid-back feeding position.
Babies can hold up their head by around 3 or 4 months of age. Until then, it’s important to support their head and neck when you’re holding them.

Holding a baby is a journey — one that can evolve from really scary, to very rewarding. In fact, with time and practice, this once intimidating act feels like second nature. But if you or a loved one just had a baby and you’re feeling lost, you’ve come to the right place. Here, we cover different ways to hold a baby — and find tips for nursing, bottle-feeding, and burping your newborn.

Picking up a newborn

Picking up a newborn can be intimidating because they can seem so fragile. It’s normal to feel nervous about holding a baby. Whether you are a new parent, relative, or a friend of someone who just gave birth, it’s natural to feel nervous.

Follow these general steps when picking up a newborn:

First, slide one hand under the baby’s head and neck to support their head.
Place your other hand and arm under the baby to support their body and bottom.
Once you feel comfortable — and like you have a good grasp — scoop them up and bring them close to your body to support them against your chest.

There are other safe positions to hold your baby until they can support their head on their own. As long as you’re supporting their head and neck try holding your baby in different positions for nursing, bottle-feeding, and burping them.

When can babies hold their head up on their own?

Most babies can hold their head up on their own by 3 to 4 months of age. When they’re born, they have weaker neck muscles, and they are unable to support their own heads. Their head can seem “floppy” or weak as they move around.

Head and neck muscles gradually get stronger with time. But every baby is different. You might find that some babies have surprisingly good head control in their first few weeks. Others are more floppy until they reach 4 months.

What about the soft spot on the top of a baby’s head?

Many parents are afraid to touch a baby’s soft spot — also called the fontanelle — found on top of their head. These are areas where the skull bones haven’t fused together yet. The good news is that it's perfectly safe to touch a baby’s soft spot. So you don’t need to worry about avoiding them while you hold the baby.

Breastfeeding

When feeding your baby, it is important to find a position that is comfortable for both you and your baby. The right positions will keep you from developing aches and pains, and keep your baby safe and comfortable while feeding. Don’t be afraid to try multiple different positions to see which one works the best for you and your little one.

1. Laid-back feeding (biological nursing)

Laid-back breastfeeding is a position that is often used when a mom has just given birth. Recline slightly on a bed or couch. Use pillows to fully support your head, arms, and shoulders as needed. Once you’re feeling comfortable:

Place your baby on your chest and belly so that they are facing you (you will be belly to belly).
Let your baby’s cheek rest near either of your breasts.
Offer your baby help with latching when needed. In this position, both arms are able to help and support your baby.

2. Cradle hold

The cradle hold is a “classic hold” that is generally found to be comfortable and straightforward. Sit up straight with pillows behind your back to support you. Once you’ve picked up your baby:

Turn your baby so their front is facing toward you.
Tuck the back of their head into the elbow of your arm on the same side you are feeding. Let your forearm support their back and hold their butt with your hand. Bring your baby up so their nose is at the level of your nipple — place pillows under your arm to support your body in this position.
Use your free hand to help guide your nipple to your baby’s mouth.

You can also place your baby on top of a pillow to help support them. Or try a nursing pillow for more support.

3. Cross-cradle hold (transitional hold)

This nursing position differs from the cradle hold slightly in that your arms switch roles. If you feed from your right side, you’ll use your left arm to hold your baby. To try the cross cradle hold, sit upright with pillows supporting your back and neck. Then:

Turn your baby so their front is facing toward you.
Hold your baby in the arm opposite to the breast you plan to feed from.
Support your baby’s head in the palm of your hand. The base of their neck will be supported by your wrist, and their body by your forearm.
Support your baby with pillows so that their mouth and nose are at the level of your nipple — use pillows under your arms as needed too.
Use your arm on the same side you are nursing, to help with latching.

4. Football hold (clutch hold)

In the football hold — sometimes referred to as the clutch hold — your baby is turned with their body in the opposite direction, and tucked under your arm like a football. Sit upright, and position your baby on the same side you are feeding them:

With your baby facing you, tuck their body and feet underneath your arm and let their legs dangle behind you.
Support your baby’s head and neck in your hand while using your forearm to support their body.
Bring your baby’s nose up to the level of your nipple — place pillows under your arm and baby to support both of you in this position.
Use your other arm (opposite of the side you are nursing) to help position your baby’s mouth on your nipple.

As your baby grows you may need to stack a few pillows behind your back when sitting. This will support your body while giving room for them to rest comfortably.

5. Side-lying hold

For the side-lying hold position, lie on your side and surround yourself with pillows for support. Try placing one between your legs, one underneath your head, and one behind your back. Then:

Place your baby on their side so they are facing you, and pull them close to your body.
Make sure their nose is around the level of your nipple — place a folded towel or pillow under them if needed. Guide their mouth to your nipple.
Support their back with your top arm. Or place a rolled up towel behind them for support.

This position is great if you are tired and need to rest while nursing. It can also be more comfortable after a C-section.

6. Koala hold

This position is easier with older babies who have more head control, or are starting to sit on their own. In the koala hold, your baby is straddling your thigh and seated, facing you. Sit up straight with pillows behind you, or slightly reclined — whatever feels best. Once you are comfortable and feeling supported:

Sit your baby on your thigh, facing you, on the side you are feeding. They will have one leg on each side, straddling your leg. Bring your baby to your nipple.
Support your baby’s head, neck, and back with either arm.
Your baby’s hands may be at their sides, or leaning against your body.

This position is a good choice if your arms need a rest. And this position can also help keep them sitting upright. When they’re upright, gravity helps prevent reflux.

Bottle feeding

When you are bottle feeding, you may need to adjust how you are holding your baby. This will help make sure you can safely support your baby, while also holding the bottle. Here are a few approaches.

Cradle position

You may want to feed your baby while cradling them. Similar to the classic cradle hold above, place your baby’s head in the crook of one of your arms. Hold their head slightly higher (above the level of your nipple) and support their body with your arm. Use your other hand to hold the bottle.

Resting on your legs

Another option is resting your baby against your legs. This works well if you’re lying or sitting down with your legs propped up on something like pillows. Or you can bend your legs at the knee. Rest your baby’s head on your knees and their bottom on your stomach. Support their back with your thighs. You can hold the bottle with either hand in this position.

Sitting up

You may also want to try sitting your baby upright. They can sit on your lap facing away from you, or facing you, whatever feels more comfortable.

When bottle feeding — whether it’s formula or breast milk — do your best to hold your baby semi-upright or upright. This can help with digestion and minimize reflux. And try to avoid bouncing and jiggling too much when you’re bottle feeding and after. Lots of movement can lead to spit up.

Burping

As your baby eats, it’s common for them to swallow air. This air can get trapped in their bellies, and cause them discomfort. Burping your baby after they eat will help them to release trapped air, and keep them comfortable. Once again, there’s no perfect way to burp a baby, but there are some positions that may help. See which feel most comfortable for you, and are most effective for your baby. Here are some common ways to hold your baby while burping.

Over the shoulder

With your baby facing you, hold under their butt in one of your hands and support their body with your chest. Rest their chin on your shoulder, on the same side. Use your free hand to give their back gentle rubs and pats.

You use this position while walking around, or sitting — do whatever feels most natural to you.

Sitting on your lap

Another common position is to burp your baby while they sit on your lap, facing away from you.

Place the palm of one of your hands against their chest and support their chin and jaw with your fingers. Be careful not to press down on their throat. Then lean them slightly forward, and use your free hand to softly and gently pat their back.

Lying belly down across your lap

If your baby is feeling heavy or you’re needing a rest, try lying them across your lap (usually over one leg when you are sitting down).

For this position, support their chin and jaw (again, avoiding their throat) with one hand. Use your free hand to softly rub and pat their back to help the burps come out. Avoid this position if your baby spits up a lot. Keep them upright instead, when burping.

How not to hold a baby

It’s important to keep a few things in mind for what not to do when holding and carrying a baby. Make sure you don’t:

Carry hot drinks or liquids while holding your baby
Carry sharp objects, like knives, while holding your baby
Get close to objects like candles when holding your baby
Hold your baby while you’re cooking
Multitask (or hold other objects) when going up and down stairs

It’s also important to keep your body in mind when holding your baby. Many new parents — especially moms — are at risk of developing a type of tendonitis in their wrists. This is sometimes called “mommy’s wrist” or “mommy’s thumb.” It is caused or worsened by repetitive, uncomfortable movements of the hand and wrist — like are necessary when picking up, or holding your baby. If you feel pain, be mindful of how you hold and carry your baby. Try to keep your wrists inline with your forearms (not tilted to the side) and thumbs in line with your fingers. And look for a position that’s more comfortable.

Is it bad to hold a baby in a sitting position?

There are mixed opinions about whether holding a baby in a sitting position is bad. Some argue that holding them in a sitting position might harm their spinal cord or limit their muscles from developing. Your baby should have good head control before you place them in a sitting position. But there is no evidence that holding a baby in a seated position is harmful for their spine or muscles.

Holding a baby in a sitting position for short periods of time is unlikely to cause harm. But keep in mind that babies benefit from lots of different kinds of movement. So limiting their time spent in restrictive devices — like car seats and bouncy chairs — can help their overall development.

Is it bad to hold a baby in a standing position?

The same principle applies to holding your baby in a standing position. There is a myth that holding babies in a standing position can make them bowlegged. But this has never been proven to be true. It is OK to hold your baby in a standing position for short periods of time. It may even help strengthen their leg muscles.

Your baby will also let you know if they’re uncomfortable or don’t like a certain position. You can help your baby explore, and grow, by changing up how they are sitting or being held.

The bottom line

Holding a baby can feel like learning to dance to a song that you’ve never heard before. At first, it may feel clumsy and uncertain. You might find that you start out using the football hold but as your baby gets older, you prefer the koala hold. Over time, and with more practice, you’ll find your rhythm. And you’ll learn what positions work best for you and your little one.

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Written by:

Cherilyn Davis, MD

Cherilyn Davis, MD, is a board-certified pediatrician in NYC. She's held local and national roles at the American Medical Women's Association, including board member of the physician division and physician chair of social media.

Edited by:

Katie E. Golden, MD

Katie E. Golden, MD, is a board-certified emergency medicine physician and a medical editor at GoodRx.

Reviewed by:

Karen Hovav, MD, FAAP

Karen Hovav, MD, FAAP, has more than 15 years of experience as an attending pediatrician. She has worked in a large academic center in an urban city, a small community hospital, a private practice, and an urgent care clinic.

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