Key takeaways:
After Debora Wood’s husband, Tim, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, they focused on living fully and joyfully.
Music therapy became a comfort to Tim during his illness, and a heartbeat music recording from that time has been a cherished keepsake for Debora after his death.
As a widow and former caregiver, Debora draws strength from her family and her memories of Tim.
Nothing takes away the pain of losing a beloved life partner. But Debora Wood finds comfort in a very special keepsake: the sound of her late husband Tim’s beating heart.
In 2014, doctors diagnosed Tim Wood with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. During his treatment, Tim worked with Brian Schreck, a music therapist in Louisville, Kentucky. Brian blends the sound of a person’s heartbeat with music, giving families a unique way to remember their loved ones.
“It’s Brian’s gift to us and Tim’s gift to us that we have this,” Debora says. “We can hear it forever.”
Living fully after a cancer diagnosis
Tim, a General Electric retiree, met Brian while receiving cancer treatments in Louisville, and the two bonded over their love of music.
“Sometimes, they would have a little jam session while Tim was receiving his chemotherapy. It was such a wonderful experience,” Debora says. At other sessions, Brian played music while Tim listened, or the two of them simply talked.
Before his diagnosis, Tim had enjoyed a healthy, active lifestyle, so finding out that he had cancer came as a shock. His mother had died of the same disease in 1997, but he and Debora didn’t know the illness could be hereditary.
The couple approached Tim’s treatment with a hopeful attitude. And from the beginning, he focused on living the best life he could. “We really thought he would beat it,” Debora says.
Sessions with Brian helped make chemotherapy days easier for Tim to endure. Instead of thinking about the medications flowing into his veins, Tim could focus on the joy of music. And the treatments paid off: Tim went into remission for about a year.
With Debora at his side, he kept enjoying the things he loved, like hiking, photography, art, and music. Most of all, he cherished time with his family.
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“Each of our grandkids were instrumental in keeping spirits up and brought much laughter and joy to Tim,” Debora says. The Woods’ granddaughter Violet was born shortly after Tim’s diagnosis, and he was determined to survive long enough for her to remember her grandpa.
Debora was also confident that Tim could beat the odds. “I’m kind of a fighter, too,” she says. “For a long time, I would not let him talk about the end, because I just could not face it.”
The healing power of heartbeat music therapy
Tim’s second round of chemotherapy didn’t produce good results. So he enrolled in a clinical trial in Nashville, but the trial medication failed, too. That’s when Tim’s doctor told the couple that Tim’s body couldn’t take any more treatments.
Even then, Tim fought for the best outcome. He set a goal of surviving for 6 months after he enrolled in hospice care. “His will was so much stronger than his body,” Debora says.
As his time grew shorter, Tim asked Brian to help him plan his funeral. They made a recording of Tim’s heartbeat, and Brian wove music around it. Then, they recorded Tim reading the poem "Heartwork" by Suzy Kassem, accompanied by the heartbeat soundtrack. Brian also helped Tim put together a slideshow of his stunning nature photography and family pictures.
Tim planned to remain at home until the end. But one day his right arm snapped because the cancer had spread to his bones. He needed to go to the hospital for a sling but was worried that the doctors wouldn’t let him leave. Debora quickly reassured him, saying, “It’s our decision, and you will be coming home.”
And he did. Tim passed away at home in July 2018, at the age of 67, surrounded by his family. His funeral reflected his creative spirit and zest for life, just as he had wanted. One of the most unforgettable moments from the funeral was when they played the "Heartwork" recording, Debora says. “When it first started playing at the funeral, people looked at each other, like, ‘Is that Tim?’” she recalls. “It was just amazing.”
Later, Brian’s gift of heartbeat therapy brought healing to Tim’s family in another way. Tim was one of the people featured in a documentary about Brian’s work, “The Beat of the Heart.” During a screening of the film at the University of Louisville, “the tears were flowing,” Debora says. “But at the same time, I was so proud.”
A widow’s journey through grief
The Woods had always had a strong, loving marriage, and they grew even closer after their daughters Jasmine and Shannon left home. So, after Tim’s death, Debora’s grief ran deep.
“For probably 2 years after he passed, I never listened to the radio and never listened to music, because I didn't want to hear something that would remind me of Tim,” she says.
During her grieving process, Debora’s family has been a wonderful source of support. “My children and my grandchildren have been lifesavers for me,” she says. “That’s what he wanted. He made us promise to be close. And so, we are.”
Sadly, Tim’s brother passed away just 6 weeks before Tim, after having many health issues. Now, a close friend who spoke at Tim’s funeral is fighting pancreatic cancer himself, and Debora’s cousin died from it a year after Tim.
“A lot of tragedy,” Debora says. “But, as time passes, you do start to think about the good things and good times, and they replace some of the sad memories.”
She cherishes the recording of Tim’s heartbeat, even though she doesn’t listen to it as often as she used to. “It’s comforting to know it exists,” she says, adding that she and her daughter Jasmine have even discussed getting matching tattoos of the graph of the heartbeat.
“When you’re feeling sad, or when you need a little pick-me-up, you can listen to their life,” Debora adds.
Debora wants more people to know about Brian’s work and heartbeat music therapy. “To have someone show up and give you some of their time in order to make you feel better — it’s just so precious,” she says.
Advice for caregivers: Savor the good moments
Debora understands how tough it is to be a caregiver for someone who is dying. She wants others who are in that position to enjoy the good moments, cherish the happy times, and create more memories. She also encourages people to find solace in their faith, like she did.
“Talk about the death, even though it will be hard, because they will want to,” she says. “Reassure them you will be OK. That’s very important, because Tim worried so much about the family he was leaving behind. Reassure them you will take care of yourselves.”
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