What Does Postpartum Depression Feel Like?
Key takeaways:
Postpartum depression is a mood disorder that affects people after they give birth.
Postpartum depression, or PPD, can make it hard for someone to take care of themselves and their baby. It may cause feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and exhaustion.
Treatment for PPD may include therapy, medication, support groups, and lifestyle changes.
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Postpartum depression, also known as PPD, is a mood disorder that affects people after they give birth. It can cause feelings of sadness, tiredness, and trouble bonding with the baby.
It’s a common condition that affects up to 20% of mothers after they give birth. But it can also affect biological parents who don't give birth and adoptive parents.
PPD is not the same as what’s commonly referred to as “baby blues” — emotional ups and downs that usually go away on their own a week or two after giving birth. PPD tends to stick around for weeks, months, or even years. Treatment for PPD can include therapy, medication, support groups, and lifestyle changes.
In this story, three women share their experiences with PPD.
Quiz: Do I have postpartum depression?
Feeling like ‘a bad mother’
Jessie Lowry, a 40-year-old pastor from Annapolis, Maryland, has two children. She has been pregnant three times. But one pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.
Jessie has also struggled for years with depression and anxiety.
Jessie says she was aware of the possibility of developing PPD with her pregnancies.
“I knew several people who had struggled with some level of it [PPD],” she says. “My psychiatrist and I discussed it as well, since I had preexisting anxiety for which I was being treated.”
Despite knowing what PPD was, Jessie's experience was not what she expected.
“I actually loved being pregnant and felt great, aside from minor aches and pains,” she says.
But there were challenges with all of her pregnancies. When she was 5 months pregnant with her first child, her mom was diagnosed with early dementia. During her second pregnancy, Jessie had gestational diabetes.
Still, Jessie says, the joys overshadowed the hardships. “I felt beautiful and aware of the miracle of it all,” she recalls.
But after giving birth, she recognized she was struggling within the first 6 weeks of both of her postpartum periods.
“I would cry quite easily, but it felt like more than just the ‘baby blues,’” Jessie says. “I would take small, seemingly insignificant things and conclude that I was a bad mother and should not be one. I second-guessed everything I did and judged myself for everything. I struggled with the feeling that my body was not my own, and I did not recognize it — nor did I recognize my daily schedule and routine.”
Jessie had anticipated experiencing some changes with motherhood, but she couldn't accept this new phase of her life.
When Jessie's family and friends noticed her symptoms, she realized she needed help. She started therapy and attended support groups.
Jessie says going through PPD made her feel much more confident as a mother. “I always wish I had known just how many people struggle with these issues,” she says. “You hear statistics and get pamphlets, but it is not the same as real stories.”
The main thing Jessie learned is that “it does get better,” she says. “And we get better. None of us can do this alone. It truly does take a village — not just to raise a child, but to help us live into our parenthood.”
The littlest things seemed unbearable
Kathleen Zak, a 35-year-old mother of three who lives in Frederick, Maryland, has had eight pregnancies. She's currently pregnant with her fourth child.
Before her experience with PPD, Kathleen had a history of depression. Although she knew about PPD, she didn't personally know anyone who had experienced it.
When Kathleen had her first child, she says, she didn't realize she was struggling emotionally. At around 2 weeks postpartum, she remembers feeling something was off. The littlest things seemed almost unbearable. Even so, she did not recognize her feelings as possible PPD right away.
“My mom and mother-in-law recognized it first. I couldn’t sleep or focus and I was full-on sobbing all the time,” Kathleen says. “It was like a switch. Random things would set me off. It could be the baby crying or a simple TV commercial. Even my mom saying the baby was hungry would upset me and make me feel like I wasn’t trying. I was on edge and easily frustrated.”
Kathleen found a therapist who listened and prescribed her medication to help.
“It was nice to have someone to remind me that my parenting and the happiness of my children were more important than other people's feelings," she says.
Angry outbursts left her feeling out of control
Maura Dowd Sniegoski is a 40-year-old mother of three from Maryland. She has had four pregnancies, one resulting in a miscarriage.
Maura knew about PPD because she had relatives who had experienced it. She has also dealt with depression and anxiety for a long time. So she expected to have PPD, but the added anxiety surprised her.
Her first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. And that made her more anxious in later pregnancies, she says.
During her second pregnancy, she had delivery complications and needed a C-section. That increased her anxiety, as well. After the baby was born, she felt that something was wrong with her lingering depression and anxiety.
After her third pregnancy, she says, those feelings got even worse. Then, the COVID-19 pandemic left her feeling even more lonely and depressed.
Just 16 days after her third child was born, Maura's brother-in-law passed away. “Things kind of compounded, and life doesn't slow down," Maura says.
She tried antidepressant medication and therapy. But she still experiences symptoms like fear and rage.
“I didn't know that [rage] was a symptom of PPD," she says. "I wish someone had told me about the rage piece. Exhaustion and overstimulation, coupled with depression and anxiety, can display itself in such a scary way.”
Maura recalls one incident when her husband had to leave to attend a work event. She was at home alone with their baby, and she realized that there were no more diapers in the baby’s bedroom. There were diapers in the house, just not in his room.
“I just started yelling," Maura recalls. “I called my husband and said, 'You need to come home. I can't believe you did this to me.' It was so out of character for me.”
Maura reflects on those moments and says that her angry outbursts were a result of her intense anxiety when she was alone with the baby. Her husband was supportive, she says, but the tension almost cost her her marriage.
Now, she feels like she's made it to the other side. She credits therapy, as well as CBD, for helping to ease her anxiety. She learned to better communicate with her husband and not hide her feelings anymore.
What does the doctor say?
Patricia Pinto-Garcia, MD, MPH
Medical Editor
Many people spend a lot of time thinking about how to have a safe and healthy pregnancy and birth experience. But the postpartum period rarely gets the attention it deserves, even though the fourth trimester is very real and has a lasting impact on health.
Your mental health is one of the most important things to plan for during the fourth trimester. Most people only plan for their physical needs. You’ve probably gathered mesh underwear, heavy duty sanitary pads, peri bottles, and witch hazel wipes, for example. But you should also take a minute to think about what you might need for your mental well-being, too. Postpartum depression (PPD) is very common, and the symptoms usually start during that fourth trimester.
There are resources designed to help you reflect on and identify signs of PPD. You can also consider giving a copy of these checklists to your close friends and family members, because it can be hard to recognize the symptoms in yourself. A person you trust can help you reflect on changes you may be experiencing. You should also have a plan for what to do if you do start feeling the symptoms of PPD.
Most people don’t see a healthcare provider for their postpartum visit until 6 weeks after they give birth. But PPD can start long before that. So if you do have concerns, make sure you have a trusted provider to turn to. This might be your OB-GYN, your primary care provider, your child’s pediatrician, a therapist, or a social worker. Any of these providers can link you to treatment services. You can gather information on local support groups and therapists in your area.
If you know you’re at risk for developing PPD, talk to your healthcare provider about your treatment options before you give birth. This will give you time to decide on a treatment course (and backup options) that best fit your needs. You can’t plan for everything during pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. But having things in place will lighten your load during a stressful time.
PPD is treatable. Treatment can help you feel like yourself again. And most medication options are safe to take while breastfeeding. Speak to a healthcare provider right away if you think you may have PPD.
There’s nothing you did that caused your symptoms. And there’s nothing you could have done to prevent them. Take that first step and ask for help from a trusted family member, friend, or healthcare provider. There is a way forward that can get you back to feeling like yourself.
Why trust our experts?
