How to Help Someone Who Is Experiencing Postpartum Depression

Having a new baby is typically thought of as a joyous event. But some people struggle emotionally with this experience. Postpartum depression (PPD) is a form of depression that develops at any point within the first year after giving birth.

People with PPD may experience sadness, anxiety, changes in sleep and appetite, and intrusive thoughts. Nearly 20% of people around the world go through PPD. 

If you know someone who may be dealing with PPD, here are some ways you can help.

Quiz: Do I have postpartum depression?

What does postpartum depression look like?

Postpartum depression causes changes in a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This can include how they feel about themselves and their baby. It can affect many different areas of the person’s life and may look different for different people. 

Noticing the signs of PPD in another person can be difficult. People may feel ashamed of their symptoms and hide them from others. This can make helping a person with PPD challenging. 

Signs of PPD include:

• Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or being overwhelmed

• Feelings of guilt or worthlessness

• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies

• Low energy

• Irritability and anger

• Lack of motivation

• Changes in appetite

• Changes in sleep patterns

• Difficulty with focus or attention

• Forgetfulness

• Physical complaints without a known cause

• Social withdrawal

• Thoughts of hurting self or the baby

• Feeling disconnected from the baby

In order to be diagnosed with PPD, at least five of these symptoms must be present most days for at least 2 weeks. 

PPD is different from the “baby blues.” The baby blues are mild emotional symptoms that develop shortly after childbirth and typically go away within 1 to 2 weeks. Though the symptoms of the baby blues and PPD are similar, PPD lasts for more than 2 weeks. 

How can you help someone with postpartum depression?

If you have concerns that someone you know may be experiencing PPD, do not ignore it. PPD can get worse, and no one should have to suffer when treatment is available. 

As a family member or friend, you can play a key role in supporting a loved one who has postpartum depression. The acronym ALO — ask, listen, offer to help — can guide you as you support them.

A: Ask

If you suspect that someone is dealing with PPD, ask how they are doing. Many people ask parents about the baby and forget to check in on the parent. 

Try using a simple statement and question like, “This can be a very difficult time. How are you feeling?” This can encourage the person to share not only the positive feelings they may have, but also their struggles. 

L: Listen

After asking how they’re doing, it’s time to listen. Give the person an opportunity to talk about how they feel. Let them know that they can share all of their feelings with you, both good and bad. Try to convey nonjudgement, compassion, and understanding. 

When a new parent opens up about their struggles, resist the urge to be overly positive. Avoid making comments like, “You shouldn’t be sad when you have a healthy baby,” or, “Just be grateful for what you have.” 

While these comments may be well meaning, they can make a new parent feel worse. Instead, focus on validating the difficulty of what they are going through. You can also let them know that they’re not alone, and many people have a hard time during the postpartum period. 

O: Offer to help

If a parent shares that they’re struggling, let them know there are resources available to help, like therapy and support groups. Encourage them to talk to their healthcare provider, OBGYN, or midwife, or to reach out to a mental health professional. You can offer to help them find support.

As a loved one, you can also help by offering assistance with physical tasks, like cooking, cleaning, laundry, and childcare. If the person declines your offer, respect their decision. Let them know that the offer remains on the table if they change their mind. 

When should someone seek medical care for postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is a serious mental health condition. Any time a parent or their loved ones notice PPD symptoms that last for 2 weeks or more, they should seek medical or mental health care. 

Recommended treatments include therapy, medication, and support groups. With the right care, parents experiencing PPD can recover and don’t have to struggle alone.

Does postpartum depression ever require emergency care?

Yes, there are some cases where parents with PPD should seek emergency medical care. If a parent has thoughts of hurting themselves, the baby, or others, and feels they are at risk of acting on them, then you should call 911 or 988. 

If a parent shows signs of postpartum psychosis, you should also seek emergency medical attention right away. Postpartum psychosis is a rare but serious condition that can develop within the first few weeks after giving birth. People with a history of bipolar disorder or schizoaffective disorder are at greatest risk. 

Signs of postpartum psychosis include:

• Displaying rapid mood swings

• Hearing or seeing things that are not there

• Expressing beliefs that are odd and untrue

• Acting paranoid

• Becoming agitated

• Appearing disorganized and confused

What resources are available to help someone with postpartum depression?

If you or someone you know is dealing with postpartum depression, there are resources available to help:

• Postpartum Support International: PSI is an international nonprofit organization that offers information on postpartum mental health disorders. The organization has a directory of trained perinatal mental health providers and hosts free virtual weekly support groups. PSI also has a helpline that can assist in connecting you with local resources. Call 1-800-944-4773.

• National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: This free hotline offers information, support, and referrals to treatment for pregnant and postpartum mothers. Mothers can call or text 1-833-9-HELP4MOMS (1-833-943-5746) for assistance.

• PostpartumDepression.org: This website provides information on postpartum depression, how to find treatment and support, and how to support a person with PPD.

The resources listed above are intended to help people dealing with postpartum depression, but they are not equipped to help people in crisis. If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis or suicidal thoughts, or if you suspect that a person may be experiencing postpartum psychosis, call 911 or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 

Why trust our experts?

Written by:

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health professional with over 10 years of clinical experience.

Edited by:

Renée Fabian, MA

Renée Fabian is the senior pet health editor at GoodRx. She’s worked for nearly 10 years as a journalist and editor across a wide range of health and well-being topics.

Reviewed by:

India B. Gomez, PhD

India B. Gomez, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with a certificate in Latin American Family Therapy. She completed her doctoral education at the California School of Professional Psychology/Alliant International University.

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