Can Women Orgasm After Menopause? Yes, Here Are 6 Tips That Can Help

It’s common to feel frustrated about your sex life after menopause. Your body has just gone through several physical, hormonal, and emotional changes. And for many women, this makes it harder to orgasm. 

But rest assured, you can still have a satisfying and exciting sex life after menopause. Below, we explore the common reasons why it’s harder for women to orgasm after menopause. And then share tips to help.

Why is it harder for women to orgasm after menopause?

As your body transitions through menopause, there are a lot of different changes that make it harder to orgasm. And understanding these changes is a helpful first step in knowing how to improve your sex life in this new stage of life. 

Vaginal dryness

Vaginal dryness is a normal part of the aging process. This is due to lower levels of the hormone estrogen, which naturally decline throughout menopause. 

Vaginal dryness isn’t related to how much sex someone is (or isn’t) having. One study found that there was no difference in vaginal dryness in women who were sexually active once or twice per month compared with at least once weekly. 

And since vaginal dryness can make sex painful, it can make it harder to orgasm.

Vaginal atrophy

Decreasing estrogen levels can also lead to vaginal atrophy. This is when the vaginal tract becomes thin, making it more likely to get inflamed and irritated. 

About 50% of women in menopause will experience vaginal atrophy. As you might expect, vaginal atrophy can also make sex more painful and less enjoyable. And similar to vaginal dryness, this makes it harder to experience an orgasm. 

An important note here: Vaginal atrophy can also cause bleeding after sex. Even though this is a common cause of bleeding after menopause, any type of vaginal bleeding after menopause should be evaluated by your primary care physician or gynecologist. They can help you rule out other more serious reasons for vaginal bleeding.

Painful sex

Both vaginal dryness and atrophy can cause pain during sex. But painful sex after menopause can happen even without these estrogen-related changes. Researchers are still learning more about why some women have pain with sex after menopause. Many women prefer not to report the symptom, so it’s hard to know exactly how often it happens. 

Pain during sex may be caused by other reasons, too, like vaginismus. This is the medical term for muscle spasms around the vagina. These spasms can happen for no reason and at any time.

Pain during sexual intercourse of course affects the physical enjoyment of sex, which is important for orgasms. But it’s also important to note that it can lead to feelings of fear, or even shame and guilt. And these changes to the emotional experience around sex also affect how easy it is to orgasm.

Lower sex drive

Many women report a decrease in sex drive after menopause. Overall, the most frequently reported symptoms in menopausal women include low sexual desire (40%-55%). Some of this may be because it’s more painful or less pleasurable. But it’s also directly related to lower levels of estrogen — and testosterone — after menopause.

Decreased genital blood flow

In addition to decreasing hormone levels, menopause can come with another important change: decreased blood flow to the clitoris. This can cause a slow response — or no response at all — to stimulation that would normally lead to arousal. And this delay can make it physically harder to orgasm. And like the other changes on this list, it can take an emotional toll and cause feelings of frustration.  

6 tips to help orgasm after menopause 

Having an orgasm after menopause is still possible. Below are some tips and measures that can help.

1. Lubrication

Since vaginal dryness can lead to pain while having sex, keeping these areas moist may help. You can achieve this in several different ways:

• Vaginal moisturizers: These can be applied every 2-3 days for long-term moisturization. One study showed that the moisturizing effect lasted 2-3 days longer compared with lubricants. This makes them useful for relieving burning, itching, and irritation. 

• Lubricants: These are designed for use right before or during sexual activity to help with short-term moisturization. They can be used as needed to help prevent irritation from the rubbing or friction that may occur during sex.

There are different types of lubricants that you can try, including:

• Water-based: These lubricants are safe to use with latex and silicone sex toys/devices. These are a good choice if you use condoms or a diaphragm. And there’s some evidence that these cause less irritation than silicone-based lubricants. 

• Silicone-based: This type of lubricants are waterproof and may last longer, but aren’t recommended for use with silicone sex toys. 

• Natural: Coconut, avocado, peanut, and olive oil can help lubricate as well. But these aren’t recommended for use with condoms or diaphragms since they can damage latex, the material that condoms and diaphragms are often made of.

• Oil-based: Lubricants like petroleum jelly, baby oil, and mineral oil aren’t recommended if you use latex condoms or a diaphragm because oil-based lubricants can damage them. And some studies show that petroleum jelly increases the chances of a person developing a urinary tract infection (UTI).

2. Direct or stronger stimulation

Your response to stimulation changes after menopause, so you may need to change your approach. This includes a change in the type, pressure, or location of stimulation. You can experiment with stronger stimulation. Or try different types of stimulation, like gentle massage that gradually becomes deeper. Or a vibrator.

3. Sex toys

Introducing sex toys is another approach that may help you orgasm after menopause. For example, vibrators offer different speeds and intensity. A higher intensity may be useful after menopause, which provides more direct and intense stimulation to achieve arousal.

Buying and using a sex toy can feel intimidating. But it’s normal and common to use one. In fact, according to one study, more than half of women and nearly half of men have used a vibrator before. And roughly 40% have used one with a partner. There’s no wrong way to use one — you can try it out on all different places on your body to see what feels enjoyable for you.

4. Pelvic floor exercises

Pelvic floor exercises, sometimes called kegel exercises, may help reduce pain and increase pleasure during sex. These exercises involve squeezing and relaxing the muscles at the bottom of your pelvis — near your vagina — to make them stronger. 

To test the move, try stopping your pee while urinating. (Don’t do this too often though, since it can increase the risk of UTI.) And it’s actually best to do kegel exercises when your bladder is empty to avoid putting stress on the floor of your pelvis. Squeeze for about 2-3 seconds if you can before you relax. 

You can do kegels throughout the day. Some studies show that people have improved sexual arousal after just 1 week. Others recommend sticking to it longer (around 8 weeks) for it to remain effective.

5. Communicating with your partner

Keeping open lines of communication with your partner can also help with intimacy. What you and your partner both want out of your sex life may look very different now than it did a few years ago — or even just a few days ago. Try asking them questions, such as:

• What does meaningful sex look or feel like to you?

• What turns you on or off?

• Where do you like to be touched, and how?

• Where do you not like to be touched?

• When do you feel the most attractive?

• When do you like to have sex (morning, afternoon, night)?

When you both can communicate what feels good and what doesn’t, it can help to empower you and your partner during sex. And this applies to intimacy and physical touch outside of sex, too. For example, gentle neck rubs may help you to relax and more easily orgasm the next time you have sex or masturbate. Sharing this kind of information can be useful in connecting intimately. 

And don’t be afraid to try new things and experiment together to see what works best and what doesn’t for both of you.

6. Talking with your healthcare professional

Last but not least, talking with a primary care or gynecology professional may help. Especially if none of the above options are helping. They may be able to suggest treatment options, such as:

• Vaginal suppositories that contain estrogen

• Hormone therapy in the form of pills or patches

• Sex therapy or counseling

• Pelvic floor therapy, which is a special type of therapy for your genital muscles that can help relieve tension and reduce pain during sex

• Vaginal dilators, which are tube-shaped devices that gradually help stretch the vagina

Your healthcare professional can also check to see if anything else is going on. They can diagnose medical conditions that might be affecting sexual functioning (for example, conditions like hypoactive sexual desire disorder or sexual aversion disorder).

Why trust our experts?

Written by:

Cherilyn Davis, MD

Cherilyn Davis, MD, is a board-certified pediatrician in New York City. She has held local and national roles at the American Medical Women’s Association including board member of the physician division and physician chair of social media.

Edited by:

Katie E. Golden, MD

Katie E. Golden, MD, is a board-certified emergency medicine physician and a medical editor at GoodRx.

Reviewed by:

Karen Hovav, MD, FAAP

Karen Hovav, MD, FAAP, has more than 15 years of experience as an attending pediatrician in a variety of clinical settings. She has worked in a large academic center in an urban city, a small community hospital, a private practice, and an urgent care clinic.

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