11 Signs Your Parent May Need a Nursing Home

Key takeaways:

Your parent may need additional support as they age. Changes, like the inability to care for themselves or frequent falls, may signal that it’s time to look at nursing homes.
Your loved one may qualify for nursing home care if they’re unable to perform activities of daily living on their own, like bathing, eating, or getting in and out of bed.
There are several resources available to help you find a nursing home, including a free Medicare questionnaire and a Medicare comparison tool.

As your parent gets older, they may become unable to care for themselves at home. A nursing home may be their best option. This type of long-term care facility can provide housing, medical services, and special programs for people with dementia and other conditions.

Here, let’s look at the signs your parent needs a nursing home, who qualifies for this type of care, and how to find a facility.

Signs your parent needs a nursing home

Your parent may need a nursing home if they start to show a combination of several of the following signs.

1. Inability to care for themselves

Your parent’s inability to care for themselves may be the first sign they need a nursing home. They may stop showering or forget to take their medication. They may lose or gain weight due to a poor diet because they can no longer cook or make healthy food choices.

2. Frequent falls and injury

It’s common for older adults to fall and hurt themselves. But if your loved one is falling regularly, they may need someone to keep a close eye on them.

3. Unsafe being left alone

Your parent may do things that aren’t safe, like leaving doors unlocked, not turning off the stove, or getting lost in familiar places.

4. Chronic conditions

Your parent may require 24/7 care if they have one or more of the following chronic conditions:

Cancer
Diabetes
Congestive heart failure
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
Psychiatric conditions
Neurological issues
Parkinson’s disease
Dementia
Stroke

5. Difficulty managing medications

Many older adults take five or more medications a day. As people age, their ability to remember when and how to take their medications decreases. It’s cause for concern, especially if your loved one’s medication manages chronic conditions, like diabetes or high blood pressure.

6. Neglecting hygiene and chores

Your parent may stop showering or doing laundry. You may notice more clutter around the house, stacks of dirty dishes in the sink, or overloaded trash bins.

7. Several trips to emergency room

The number of emergency room trips may increase as a person ages. Your parent may need extra care if their trips to the emergency room become more frequent.

8. Signs of dementia

Dementia is a loss of cognitive functions, such as thinking, remembering, and reasoning. It gets worse over time, and there’s no cure for it. There are different types of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. Over time, the symptoms of dementia may make nursing care the best option for your loved one.

Dementia signs include:

Memory loss
Confusion
Inability to understand and express thoughts
Getting lost in familiar places
Trouble paying bills
Repeating questions
Becoming unreasonable
Inability to complete tasks
Using unusual words for familiar items
Mood swings

9. Changes in mobility

As your parent ages, they may not be able to move like they used to. They may lose their ability to walk or maintain balance. Or they may lose the physical strength to get out of bed or get to the bathroom. If their mobility issues increase their fall risk or make it difficult to navigate at home, a nursing home may be a good option.

10. Difficulty performing activities of daily living

Older adults who struggle with activities of daily living (ADLs) can be nursing home candidates. ADLs are skills required to live independently. They include things like:

Walking independently
Feeding yourself
Picking out clothes and dressing yourself
Bathing, grooming, and brushing teeth
Controlling your bladder
Getting to and from the toilet and cleaning yourself

11. Caregiver burnout

Taking care of an aging parent is hard work. It can affect your quality of life and impact your physical and mental health. A nursing home could provide a safe place for your loved one so you can get rest, better manage caregiver burnout, and take care of yourself.

What qualifies someone for a nursing home?

Each state has different requirements for nursing home care. But, typically, people who can’t safely live alone are eligible.

Medicaid may look at the following four areas to determine if your parent qualifies:

Physical ability: Medicaid will check your parent’s ability to perform ADLs, like getting out of bed and feeding themself.
Medical issues: They’ll consider your parent’s need for help with injections, catheters, and intravenous medications.
Cognitive function: They’ll assess your loved one’s cognitive abilities, especially if they’ve been diagnosed with dementia.
Behavioral issues: They’ll ask about changes in your loved one’s behavior, such as wandering, impulsiveness, and aggressiveness.

Finding a nursing home that’s right for your loved one

There are many things to consider when choosing a nursing home. Start by printing Questions to Ask When You Visit a Nursing Home, a free checklist from the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS).

Questions to ask potential nursing homes include:

What state agency licensed the nursing home and administrator?
Does the nursing home’s inspection report show quality of care problems or other citations?
Are residents clean, well-groomed, and appropriately dressed for the season or time of day?
Can the nursing home provide for individual dietary needs and preferences (like low-salt or no-sugar-added diets)?
Does the nursing home have specific policies and procedures related to the care of residents with dementia?

Take the checklist with you when you visit nursing homes and use the questions to guide your conversation with staff members.

When looking for a nursing home in your area, taking these steps can help:

Ask friends and neighbors for recommendations
Talk to your loved one’s primary care provider
Contact your local senior center
Ask your hospital’s social worker
Call Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116

You can also learn more about nursing homes in your area by visiting Medicare’s provider search tool. Enter your zip code and compare nursing home ratings based on health inspections, staffing, and quality measures.

How to talk to a parent about living in a nursing home

Talking to an aging parent about where they should live can be stressful. Your parent may like their independence and reject the notion that they need (or will someday need) long-term care.

These tips may help you get the conversation started:

Learn about nursing home care: Be prepared to answer your loved one’s questions, such as if they qualify for a nursing home and how much it will cost.
Make a list of your concerns: If you notice changes in your parent’s behavior, such as trouble with ADLs, jot those down.
Have the talk before care is needed: It’ll be less stressful if you and your parent have a plan in place before a crisis occurs.
Schedule a stress-free time and location: If possible, have your talk in person. Make sure your parent is comfortable and well rested.
Listen to your loved one with empathy: Let them know you understand any fear and anxiety they might be feeling.
Schedule a follow-up chat: You probably won’t have everything ironed out after the first talk. Plan to revisit the conversation in the future.
Ask if you can visit a nursing home together: Be prepared to check out a facility with your loved one.

The bottom line

As your parent gets older, they may no longer be able to live at home. Maybe you’ve observed changes in their behavior, such as confusion about their medication and lack of personal hygiene. These are signs that your parent may need nursing home care.

Do your homework and learn as much as you can about local nursing homes. Talk to your parent’s primary care provider and get recommendations from friends, neighbors, and senior centers. Then, schedule a time to talk with your parent about your concerns. It’s better to get the conversation started early rather than in the middle of a crisis.

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Written by:

Ana Gascon

Ana Gascon has over 15 years of writing and editing experience, with 8 years in health and medical content work. She is a content creator who focuses on acute conditions, chronic diseases, mental health challenges, and health equity.

Edited by:

Renée Fabian, MA

Renée Fabian is the senior pet health editor at GoodRx. She’s worked for nearly 10 years as a journalist and editor across a wide range of health and well-being topics.

Reviewed by:

Mandy Armitage, MD

Mandy Armitage, MD, has combined clinical medicine with her passion for education and content development for many years. She served as medical director for the health technology companies HealthLoop (now Get Well) and Doximity.

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