Self-Harm Myths: Tackling 8 Common Myths and Stigma

Self-harm, also called non-suicidal self-injury, is when someone purposefully injures their own body. Those who do so are often very upset or overwhelmed at the time. Common examples include cutting or scratching, but there are many other types of self-injury. 

It’s easy to misunderstand the reasons for self-harm. Many believe it only happens to certain types of people. However, the truth is that it can affect anyone. Here’s a list of some of the most common self-harm myths, along with the facts. 

1. Myth: People who self-harm just want attention

There are many reasons that people self-harm. Most often, people use it to relieve overwhelming emotions. Sometimes, it is a way of turning anger or punishment inward. 

Some other examples of why someone might self-harm include: 

• Coping with big emotions

• Managing unwanted or upsetting thoughts

• Regulating overwhelming feelings

• Trying to feel less numb

• Expressing struggles when they don’t have words to explain

• Providing a way to care for themselves by tending to wounds

No matter why someone self-harms, it’s a sign that something serious is going on, and they need support. 

2. Myth: Everyone who self-harms has borderline personality disorder (BPD)

Self-harm is one possible symptom of a condition called borderline personality disorder (BPD). However, many people without BPD also self-injure. Self-harm might be related to another mental health condition or none at all.

A specific treatment, called dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), was originally used to treat self-harm and suicidal behaviors in people with BPD. DBT is now used for many different conditions and stressful life situations. It teaches skills and techniques that can help anyone manage and prevent self-injury. 

3. Myth: Self-harm is the same as a suicide attempt

Most experts define self-harm as a self-inflicted injury that is not a suicide attempt. In fact, many people say they use self-harm as a way to avoid suicide. 

Read more like this

Explore these related articles, suggested for readers like you.

9 Signs You Might Need to Go to a Mental Health Hospital

View more

This doesn’t mean that those who self-injure never have thoughts of suicide. The two symptoms may overlap. And those who self-harm are at a higher risk of suicide attempts and ongoing self-harm. This is another reason to always take self-harm seriously. 

4. Myth: Self-harm is always caused by past abuse

People who self-injure may have experienced physical, mental, or sexual abuse. But not everyone who harms themselves has experienced abuse. And even for those who have experienced abuse, their self-harm could relate to other issues entirely. 

For example, some people who use self-harm are more likely to criticize themselves. They may also have difficulty expressing their emotions. This can occur regardless of whether they have experienced trauma in the past. 

5. Myth: People who self-harm are ‘crazy’ 

People often use the term “crazy” to dismiss behaviors that they don’t understand. This can lead to stigma, where others negatively judge someone who self-harms. 

Stigma against people who self-harm is not based in reality. Just like with other health issues, self-harm is a symptom of an underlying problem. 

Those who harm themselves may have a variety of mental health conditions, such as depression. They are often dealing the best they can with an overwhelming situation. 

Stigma and judgment can cause embarrassment or the urge to hide the behavior. It can also make it difficult for people who self-harm to ask for help. 

6. Myth: Only teenage girls self-harm

It is true that teens and young adults are more likely to self-injure. However, they are not the only people who self-harm. 

Self-injury can occur at any age, including among adults. About 5% of adults self-harm. Younger children, particularly those with certain developmental differences like autism, may also injure themselves. 

Self-harm is just as likely between males and females. And nearly 50% of transgender people may self-harm in their lifetimes. Those who identify as LGBTQ+ are also more likely to self-harm. 

7. Myth: It’s your fault if a friend or loved one self-harms

Sometimes, friends or family members feel responsible for their loved one’s self-harm. Even if you’ve had a recent conflict with your friend, that doesn’t mean you’re the reason that they’re injuring themselves. 

As discussed, many different things contribute to self-harm. It’s often a sign of bigger things going on and not caused by a single incident. If you’re concerned about your loved one, you can help them find professional support. 

8. Myth: It’s best to ignore self-harm in others

Some people believe that if they just ignore self-harm behavior, it will go away. It may go away eventually, but self-injury is a sign that your loved one is struggling. It is important for someone who injures themselves to get professional support.

One way to provide support is to let your loved one know that you see they’re having a hard time. Explain that you’re not there to judge and that you want to help. Help them contact a professional who can create a plan going forward. 

A healthcare provider or psychotherapist can help determine what’s going on and offer the best treatment. Treatment for self-harm typically involves working through situations that trigger self-harm urges. Your loved one will also learn new coping skills to deal with strong emotions and stressful situations.

What resources are available to help someone who self-harms?

There are many professionals and peer groups available to help those affected by self-harm. Even if your loved one isn’t ready for treatment, you can still seek out your own support. Experts can help you decide on the best steps to take for your loved one or yourself. 

Here are some resources to check out: 

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: You don’t have to be actively hurting yourself or feeling suicidal to use this resource. It can offer support and recommendations for whatever you’re going through. Call 1-800-273-8255 to talk with a trained counselor.

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): NAMI is an organization built by peers who’ve experienced mental health symptoms — including self-harm — and their loved ones. NAMI offers a helpline, as well as local and national support groups (both in person and online). You can call 1-800-950-6264 or text NAMI to 741741.

• The Jed Foundation: This is a non-profit group devoted to helping teens and young adults who are struggling. You can learn more by visiting the organization’s website.

• The Trevor Project: The Trevor Project was created for LGBTQ+ youth in need of support, including those who self-harm or have suicidal thoughts. You can call its crisis hotline at 1-866-488-7386.

• Professional therapy: A local therapist or psychiatrist can help you get to the root of what’s going on. Many mental health professionals are trained in how to support those who self-harm. If you need help finding therapy near you, visit SAMHSA’s Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator. 

Why trust our experts?

Written by:

Jennie Bedsworth, LCSW

Jennie Bedsworth, MSW, LCSW, is a social worker and therapist with 20 years of experience in journalism, teaching, and mental health. Prior to getting her master's, she wrote for The Furrow and was editor of Missouri Ruralist magazine.

Edited by:

Renée Fabian, MA

Renée Fabian is the senior pet health editor at GoodRx. She’s worked for nearly 10 years as a journalist and editor across a wide range of health and well-being topics.

Reviewed by:

India B. Gomez, PhD

India B. Gomez, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with a certificate in Latin American Family Therapy. She completed her doctoral education at the California School of Professional Psychology/Alliant International University.

Our editorial standards

Meet our experts