9 Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
Key takeaways:
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that can make it hard to regulate strong emotions.
Other signs and symptoms of BPD include rapid mood changes, fear of being abandoned, impulsive behavior, unstable relationships, and self-harm.
You can experience relief from BPD symptoms and improve your relationships by working with a mental health professional.
Table of contents
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that makes it hard to manage your emotions. It can cause other symptoms, too, like impulsive behavior, anger, and dissociation. BPD usually begins when you’re a teenager or young adult, and can cause significant problems at work, school, or home.
Let’s take a closer look at the nine symptoms of borderline personality disorder, as well as how it’s treated.
What are the symptoms of BPD?
BPD affects people in different ways. However, the following are nine key symptoms of BPD.
1. Fear of abandonment
People with BPD have often experienced abandonment in their life, making them more sensitive to the possibility of relationships ending. This fear of being left can be so intense that it may feel life-threatening.
As a result, you may try to prevent abandonment to avoid the intense fear. According to clinical psychologist Erica Rozmid, ways that people with BPD try to avoid abandonment include:
Withdrawing or pulling away from other people
Leaving an important relationship first before they can be left
Self-harming or having suicidal thoughts
These actions are often an attempt to reduce the distress caused by a fear of abandonment.
2. Pattern of unstable relationships
One of the hallmark symptoms of BPD is unstable relationships. People with BPD can have strained or short-lived relationships with everyone from roommates to family members to romantic partners.
“People who have BPD may not have had a stable upbringing or childhood and may not have had stable relationships around them as a model,” Rozmid said. “They then grow up, experience intense emotions, and do not have the skills to navigate social relationships.”
How can you help someone with BPD? Here are five strategies for helping a friend or family member who has borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Are there different types of BPD? Read what experts have to say about the possible different “types” of BPD.
Is it borderline… or bipolar? Learn more about how these two mental health conditions compare.
One way this can show up is through a pattern of “idealization” and “devaluation.” Put simply, you may view people as “all good” (idealization) or “all bad” (devaluation). Sometimes, you may switch between both views about the same person.
For example, when you first make a new friend, you might feel that they’re great and can do no wrong. Then, if the friend does something upsetting, you might immediately feel like the friend is “bad” or “unsafe.” Like with other BPD symptoms, this is an attempt to manage intense, distressing feelings and fears.
3. Unstable sense of self
People with BPD can experience difficulty with their self image, or how they view and understand themselves. This can make it difficult for someone with BPD to know who they are as a person.
For some, this might look like constantly changing goals, values, or career plans. For others, it could look like being a “social chameleon” — taking on the personality traits of people around them in an attempt to fit in.
4. Impulsive behaviors
Impulsive behavior can be another common symptom of BPD. When feeling strong emotions, you may have a hard time regulating your urges and impulses. Impulsive behaviors typically serve the function of helping you cope with overwhelming feelings.
Some of these impulses can have negative consequences, such as:
Spending large amounts of money you don’t have
Having risky, unprotected sex
Using substances
Driving recklessly
Binge eating
5. Suicidal behavior or self-harm
People with BPD may engage in self-harming behaviors, such as cutting or burning. They may also have suicidal thoughts or make suicide attempts.
These behaviors may follow relationship stressors like:
Going through a breakup
Feeling rejected
Feeling abandoned
If you’re having suicidal thoughts or are thinking about harming yourself, get professional help right away. Call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or visit your nearest emergency room.
6. Frequent and intense changes in emotions
It’s typical to experience emotional ups and downs in life. However, people with BPD may experience changes in emotions more frequently and intensely than the average person. It may also take longer for the intensity of their emotions to go back down.
People with BPD seem especially sensitive to social stressors and cues. So relationships are a common trigger for intense emotions that can be hard to regulate. Some common intense emotions that people with BPD experience include:
Anger
Anxiety
Despair
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness
Feeling emotionally empty is an ongoing experience for many people with BPD. However, emptiness can look and feel different from person to person.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Rachel Jones said that some common feelings associated with this symptom include:
Worthlessness
Intense sadness
Feeling disconnected from others
Depression
Other people with BPD describe it as the “absence of emotion” altogether. Either way, chronic emptiness is typically very painful.
“For many people with BPD, these chronic feelings of emptiness trigger action urges in a desperate attempt to reduce the pain,” Jones said.
8. Intense anger reactions
Individuals with BPD often experience anger that’s more intense than what people without BPD might consider typical.
For example, imagine getting cut off by another driver on the highway. Many people might briefly get upset at the driver, then move on after a few minutes. A person with BPD experiencing intense anger might, on the other hand, feel the urge to retaliate against the other driver.
Following anger outbursts, people with BPD may experience intense feelings of shame and worthlessness.
9. Dissociation
In times of high stress or emotional dysregulation, people with BPD can experience dissociation. Dissociation refers to a feeling of disconnection. It can cause you to feel disconnected from your:
Thoughts
Feelings
Memories
Surroundings
According to associate marriage and family therapist Brittany Sealey, you can experience dissociation in a few different ways, including:
Feeling disconnected from your body
Feeling detached from the outside world
Experiencing brief amnesia (memory loss) and being unable to remember what happened during certain periods of time
Feeling confused about your identity, such as not being sure where you end and another person (like a partner) begins
Feeling like you’re acting like a different person and can’t explain why
How is BPD diagnosed?
There’s no test that can determine whether you have BPD. Like many other mental health conditions, it can only be diagnosed through talking with a health professional, like a primary care doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist.
After discussing your current symptoms and health history, your primary care provider or therapist can work with you to determine whether you have BPD. They may use a clinical guidebook called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) to help make the diagnosis. This guidebook describes all of the different mental health conditions, including BPD.
When it comes to BPD, the DSM-5-TR lists nine typical symptoms for borderline personality disorder. However, you only need to have five of these symptoms to receive a diagnosis of BPD. This means that two people could have BPD but have different combinations of symptoms. In addition, a BPD diagnosis requires that your symptoms have been ongoing and constant.
Do I have BPD, bipolar disorder, or something else?
BPD shares symptoms with other mental health conditions, including:
For this reason, it’s often misdiagnosed — especially as bipolar disorder. In one study, researchers found that 40% of people with BPD had previously been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder.
According to Sealey, people with BPD and bipolar disorder may have symptoms that look similar, like mood changes, impulsive behavior, and depressed mood. However, there are a few telltale signs that differentiate the two conditions. For example, Sealey said the changes in mood that people with BPD experience are usually related to their environment.
Compared with bipolar disorder, the symptoms of BPD are much more connected to the way you think about yourself and your relationships, and how you interact with other people. With bipolar disorder, the symptoms are often centered on an extreme low or high mood (depression or mania).
And keep in mind: You can be diagnosed with BPD and other conditions at the same time. Staying connected with a healthcare professional is a great way to make sure you continue to have the most accurate diagnosis.
If you believe you might have BPD, talk with your primary care provider, or a therapist or psychiatrist. They’ll be able to determine whether you meet criteria for a BPD diagnosis. They can also point you in the direction of helpful treatment options.
How is BPD treated?
The good news is that BPD is treatable. Talk therapy is usually the first choice of treatment. There are many different types of therapy that can help, including:
Mentalization-based therapy
Schema-focused therapy
Transference-focused therapy
Your BPD symptoms may be related to past trauma. In this case, you may also benefit from therapy to address that trauma. Examples of trauma therapy include:
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)
Cognitive processing therapy (CPT)
Trauma-informed stabilization treatment
Sensorimotor or somatic experiencing psychotherapy
Medications for BPD
At this time, there are no medications that directly treat BPD. However, a healthcare professional may recommend medication depending on your symptoms and co-occurring mental health conditions.
Many people with BPD live with other conditions — such as depression — that are often partially treated with medication. Because of this, medication can be an important aspect of treatment for many people with BPD.
Frequently asked questions
Personality disorders are a group of mental health conditions that affect your thoughts and behaviors. They can also affect how you view the world, and how you interact with others. You can learn more about the different types of personality disorders here.
Splitting in BPD means you often see things as “all good” or “all bad” with no gray area in between. It may be a way for your mind to protect itself from unpleasant feelings or emotions. But splitting can also cause problems in your daily life, by making it hard to trust people, or to maintain healthy relationships.
Though technically there’s no cure for BPD, many people with BPD live full, vibrant lives. Treatment — especially therapy — can help your symptoms get better, to the point where they are no longer so disruptive or problematic.
The bottom line
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that makes it difficult to regulate your emotions. People with BPD have other symptoms, too, such as a fear of abandonment, feelings of emptiness, impulsivity, unstable relationships, and suicidal ideation. All of these can take a toll on your quality of life.
Fortunately, BPD is treatable. Therapy is a great first choice. It can go a long way in helping you manage your symptoms, and learn more about yourself and your relationships. And though there’s no cure for BPD, treatment can help you manage your symptoms to the point where they no longer cause major problems in your life.
Why trust our experts?
References
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Australian Borderline Personality Disorder Foundation Limited. (n.d.). Diagnostic criteria.
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Goin, M. K. (2006). Borderline personality disorder: Splitting countertransference. Psychiatric Times.
Gold, N., et al. (2017). Self and identity in borderline personality disorder: Agency and mental time travel. Journal of Evaluation in Clinical Practice.
Krause-Utz, A., et al. (2021). Dissociation in borderline personality disorder: Recent experimental, neurobiological studies, and implications for future research and treatment. Current Psychiatry Reports.
Miller, C. E., et al. (2021). Understanding chronic feelings of emptiness in borderline personality disorder: A qualitative study. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation.
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2023). Borderline personality disorder.
National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder. (n.d.). Overview of BPD.
National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder. (n.d.). Treating BPD.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Borderline personality disorder.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2025). Borderline personality disorder.
Ruggero, C. J., et al. (2009). Borderline personality disorder and the misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder. Journal of Psychiatric Research.
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