7 Reasons Why You May Be Angry All the Time
Key takeaways:
Anger is an emotional response to triggers like fear, shame, and situations where you’ve been wronged.
Certain physical and emotional states or mental health conditions can make you more vulnerable to anger.
You can cope with your anger by practicing deep breathing, using distraction, and attending therapy or anger management.
Anger is an emotion that can happen after you feel like you’ve been wronged. Sometimes anger can occur at the same time as other emotions, like hurt, fear, stress, and embarrassment.
Studies show that humans evolved to feel anger to survive prehistoric dangers like predator attacks. You may not face prehistoric attacks anymore, but your brain and body still respond like you do.
Although you may think anger is a “negative” emotion, anger can be healthy and necessary. Depending on your culture, it might not feel acceptable to be angry. But feeling angry is normal and can let you know when something is not right. It only becomes a problem when it gets in the way of your daily life and relationships.
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Why am I so angry?
Everyone experiences anger from time to time. But the causes of anger may vary from person to person. Anger can be a response to internal or external events.
1. Internal triggers
Internal events are when your own thoughts, feelings, or physiological states trigger anger. Examples of this include:
Ruminating over a negative interaction with a person
Dwelling on personal mistakes or problems
Experiencing a memory of past trauma
2. External stressors
External events involve other people or situations. Examples of this include:
Getting stuck in traffic
Being wrongly accused of something
Having an argument with your partner
Often an external event will initially trigger anger, but your response will determine whether your anger increases or decreases.
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3. Something is off
Anger can also act as a form of communication, letting you know something needs to be addressed. For example, a boss who is mistreating you can make you feel angry, which may encourage you to speak up and advocate for yourself. You may also feel angry when someone pushes past your limits. This lets you know it may be time to set stronger boundaries with others.
4. Physical and emotional vulnerabilities
Certain physical and emotional states can make you more vulnerable to anger, especially if you experience several of these at the same time. The following feelings can increase your vulnerability to anger:
Hunger
Annoyance
Loneliness
Fatigue
Disrespect
Being used by other people
Embarrassment
Being in a rush
If you experience any of these, you may be more likely to react with anger to a situation that you would ordinarily brush off.
5. A mental health condition
Anger can also be a symptom of a mental health disorder. If you have a mental health condition, things that seem minor may set you off.
If you have one of these conditions, you may find yourself more prone to anger than other people:
Intermittent explosive disorder
Oppositional defiant disorder
Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder
6. Trauma
A traumatic event is a situation that is perceived as dangerous and life-threatening. Examples of traumatic events include natural disasters, war, and abuse.
When a person is exposed to a trauma, the body goes into a fight-flight-or-freeze response. People who experience trauma may feel anger as part of the fight response during the event itself and afterward.
Past trauma survivors may also have difficulty managing their anger. Some people who experience trauma may go on to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a mental health condition that can involve emotional symptoms like irritability and anger.
7. Response to oppression
Anger is a healthy and useful emotion in certain cases. When it comes to oppression, anger can be a driving force to incite positive change.
Anger is often a response to oppression and discrimination, such as racism, sexism, classism, and ableism. Prejudice and discrimination can trigger a sense of rejection, which can cause feelings of hurt, sadness, and anger.
When this anger is combined with a desire to create change, it can motivate a person to fight against social injustice.
Why am I so angry for no reason?
People are rarely angry for no reason. But sometimes the causes of your anger can be hard to pinpoint.
If you are unsure why you are angry or find yourself blowing things that seem minor out of proportion, you may want to seek professional help. A professional can help you get to the source of your anger so you can better understand yourself, your triggers, and how to cope.
Signs of anger
Often we do not notice anger until we reach a tipping point. Knowing and watching out for the different signs of anger can help you catch yourself before your anger takes over.
The signs of anger typically fall into four categories:
Emotional: Anger is usually accompanied by other feelings such as guilt, shame, fear, jealousy, or humiliation. These feelings are usually the primary emotion, and anger is secondary. Anger can even mask these feelings, so they can be difficult to identify.
Behavioral: Anger can also affect your behavior. When you are feeling angry, you may clench your fists, raise your voice, or become violent.
Physical: This refers to our body’s response to anger. Physical signs of anger can include tightness in your chest and increased breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure.
Cognitive: When you feel angry, your thoughts will usually center on certain themes, such as being disrespected, humiliated, or controlled by others. It can also involve negative thoughts toward yourself, such as beating yourself up for a perceived mistake.
How to control anger
To manage your anger, you can use different strategies — often called coping skills — to lower the intensity of your emotions. Coping skills can also help prevent your anger from getting to the point where you might act out.
You can think of managing your anger like a pot of boiling water. As the intensity of your anger increases, the boiling water rises to the top of the pot. To prevent the pot from boiling over, you would likely lower the heat — or use a coping skill to turn down the heat of your anger.
With coping skills, you learn how to regulate the intensity of your emotions in a healthy way. This allows you to feel your anger but still be able to communicate, set limits, and take more constructive action.
Some coping skills that may help you feel calmer when you’re angry include:
Take a break by saying that you need 5 minutes before continuing a conversation.
Distract yourself by listening to music, watching a movie or TV show, or reading a book.
Try to relax your muscles by tensing and releasing them one by one. This is called progressive muscle relaxation.
Practice deep breathing by breathing in for 4 seconds, holding, and then breathing out for 6 seconds. Repeat this pattern several times.
Write about your experience and feelings in a journal.
Engage in exercise, like taking a walk, going to the gym, or playing sports.
Contrary to popular belief, activities that aim to help you “get out” your anger can make it more difficult to manage. For example, you may want to punch a wall when you feel angry. Acting out that impulse — even in a safer way like punching a pillow — reinforces unhelpful ways of coping.
When should I seek help for my anger issues?
Sometimes, anger can lead to reactions that get in the way of your daily life and relationships. It can be hard to know when anger becomes a problem, and it looks different from person to person.
Here are some signs that may mean you want to seek help for your anger:
It starts to affect your personal and professional relationships.
People around you have expressed concern about your anger and actions.
Your anger causes aggressive or violent urges or actions.
Your anger leads to unwanted consequences on a regular basis.
Anger that causes you significant distress or seriously impacts your relationships can be associated with a mental illness. A mental health professional will be able to diagnose and treat any underlying mental health conditions that may be contributing to your anger levels.
If you need help managing your anger, you and your provider will explore what is right for you. You have several options, including:
Psychotherapy: Mental healthcare providers can help you recognize the situations and patterns that lead to anger in your life. Your provider may help you use healthy coping skills, set boundaries, and understand what triggers your anger.
Anger management programs: These programs help you recognize when you are feeling angry and learn ways to lower its intensity. Anger management also teaches you to cope with emotions as they happen so they don’t get suppressed and explode later.
If you have an underlying mental health condition, your provider may also recommend medications to help manage your symptoms.
The bottom line
You may feel anger in response to stressors, threats, and upsetting situations you deal with in your daily life. When used effectively, anger can be a powerful tool to help you set boundaries and overcome obstacles. Unmanaged anger, on the other hand, can cause significant distress or get in the way of your relationships. In these cases, professional help through therapy, counseling, or an anger management program could be right for you.
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References
American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Anger.
American Psychological Association. (2022). Control anger before it controls you.
Anger & Irritability Management Skills. (n.d.). Common anger triggers.
Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
Fernandez, E., et al. (2016). Anger in psychological disorders: Prevalence, presentation, etiology and prognostic implications. Clinical Psychology Review.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2023). Coping with traumatic events.
Ober, H. (2021). Anger as an appropriate power source for social justice. UCR News.
Richman, L. S., et al. (2009). Reactions to discrimination, stigmatization, ostracism, and other forms of interpersonal rejection. Psychological Review.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2019). Anger management for substance use disorder and mental health clients.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2022). Coping with anger.
Therapist Aid. (2019). Anger iceberg.
Williams, R. (2017). Anger as a basic emotion and its role in personality building and pathological growth: The neuroscientific, developmental and clinical perspectives. Frontiers in Psychology.
For additional resources or to connect with mental health services in your area, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. For immediate assistance, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, or text HOME to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
