Key takeaways:
Adults sometimes struggle to make and keep friends due to social challenges or a lack of opportunities to meet new people.
Finding common interests and activities and practicing social skills can make it easier to meet new people and develop relationships.
Making new friends is worth it. People who have close friends and social connections may have a lower risk of a variety of health problems, such as chronic stress and high blood pressure.
It’s important for everyone, including adults, to have friends. In fact, studies show that there are many mental and physical health benefits to having friends. People who have friends are less likely to have mental health conditions, like depression. They’re also less likely to die from certain health conditions, like heart problems.
But trying to make new friends as an adult isn’t easy, whether you’re a young adult or over 65 years old. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to find and make new friends as an adult.
How do you make new friends as an adult?
Making new friends as an adult can feel a lot harder than it was when you were younger. But it’s important to try — and to stick with it — especially if you’re feeling lonely.
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Chances are, most of the people you’ll meet want to find connections just as much as you do. Here are some tips that may make it easier for you to meet new people and create lasting friendships.
Make the time
It can take time and effort to go out and meet new people. And it isn’t always easy when you’re busy and have other priorities in your life.
One way is to participate in activities you’re interested in. This way, you’re already doing something you like with your time, with the bonus of possibly making new friends. For example, you could do any of the following:
Hiking
Volunteering
Quilting
Playing mahjong
Also, think about things in your daily life that you already make time for, like eating dinner. You can turn that into a social activity by going to a local restaurant and eating dinner at the bar.
Be open and vulnerable
People are looking for meaningful relationships. But it may be difficult to open up with new friends.
You can share information about yourself when you feel comfortable. And show interest in your new friend. (This is just as important in friendships as it is in dating.) Ask questions and follow up on their answers to learn more about them.
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Gradually sharing about yourself and learning about your new friend can help build a strong bond.
Rethink your fear of rejection
It’s normal to worry about whether people will like you or not. It may be encouraging to know that people often underestimate how much others like them. And when people are told to assume others like them, they actually become warmer and friendlier.
Going in with the attitude that a person will like you can make you even more likable. And remember, if you don’t click with a new person, that’s OK. Not every friendship is meant to take off.
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Get help for social anxiety
Sometimes, a mental health condition, like social anxiety disorder, can make it difficult to make new friends. Social anxiety is when you feel anxious or self-conscious around other people and fear meeting new people.
If you’re struggling with these feelings, speaking with a therapist may help you overcome them. They can help you understand what’s causing your social anxiety. They can also help you practice new social skills to help overcome it.
Where do adults find new friends?
One of the best ways to make friends as an adult is through shared interests and activities. Here are some places where you can look for new friends to get you started.
1. Book clubs
If you enjoy reading, you might find that a book club is a great place to meet new people. Visit your local library or check with nearby bookstores to see what’s available.
You can also check for options online using an internet search, social media, or websites like Meetup.
2. Sports leagues and workout classes
Adult sports activities — particularly those involving teams or clubs — can help improve your social life and physical health. Alternatively, a weekly Zumba or yoga class also gives you the opportunity to connect with others while enjoying a healthy, fun activity.
Some sports you may want to try are:
Softball
Basketball
Disc golf
Volleyball
Flag football
Tennis
Soccer
Even if you’re not into team sports, athletic activities that involve small groups, like golf, can also get you out and socializing. Or, if you don’t feel particularly fit or have physical limitations, there may be other activities that you might enjoy. You can consider options like playing pool or bowling.
Local recreation centers like the YMCA often offer organized sports and classes. Look for these and other activities in your area.
3. Gaming groups
Are you into social games like Magic: The Gathering or Dungeons & Dragons? These kinds of games can be a great way to make connections.
You may be able to find in-person or online groups to play with. And local game stores and restaurants often offer organized events. Local community centers may also offer other types of games, like:
Bingo
Mahjong
Board games
Card games
4. Adult education classes
Many community centers, libraries, schools, and local stores offer educational classes for adults. For example, local art leagues often hold craft or painting classes. And camera stores sometimes provide photography classes for beginners.
In some areas, you can also find adult development courses, such as in cooking, languages, or woodworking. You can start by searching online for local organizations that offer classes.
5. Friendship apps
Some people enjoy using platonic friendship apps to meet new people. This can be a less intimidating way to connect with others. Popular examples include Bumble BFF and Nextdoor.
Some apps are even geared toward people with common interests or experiences, like Peanut, which allows people at similar stages of life to connect. Search online or in your smartphone app store to find more options.
6. Parenting groups
If you have children, it may be easiest for you to connect with other parents. Many communities offer playgroups where kids can play together, while parents get to know one another.
You can also search for parenting groups through local nonprofits and online. If your kids attend school, consider volunteering for school activities or joining the Parent-Teacher Association (PTA). And don’t forget to say hello to other parents during pickup times and sports meets.
7. Senior centers
Older adults are some of the most likely people to experience loneliness and social isolation. But some communities offer activities specifically for older adults.
Search online for community groups geared toward older people in your area. Your local community center or parks and recreation department may also offer activities geared specifically to older groups.
8. Churches or spiritual groups
In many areas, churches, synagogues, and other places of worship are the most active community groups around. Ask around at your church or spiritual practice center about options to socialize with other attendees. This could include being part of a volunteering squad or a Bible study.
You can also search online for local options and consider visiting other places of worship that interest you.
9. Volunteering
For some, volunteering may be an ideal way to meet people with similar interests and values. You can search online for opportunities with centers and groups like these in your area:
Food banks
Pet shelters
Political organizations
Social cause groups
Litter cleanup crews
Afterschool centers
If you need additional ideas, enter your location into the website VolunteerMatch to see what’s available near you.
10. Work friends
Many people meet some of their closest friends in the workplace. It’s like when you used to make friends at school when you were a kid: When you spend 8 hours a day with people, friendships often develop automatically.
Sometimes, it may take a little more work to become friendly with your colleagues. To kick things off, try asking a group of your colleagues to go out to dinner or grab coffee with you after work one day.
11. Tapping into your current social networks
One of the easiest ways to make new friends is to meet your friends’ friends. Tell your friends that you’re trying to expand your social group, and ask if they know anyone you might get along with. Then, consider coordinating with your friends to set up a group hangout so you can get to know the new people.
12. Social media
You can meet new friends through social media by browsing through profiles in your area (or friends of your current friends). Then, try messaging people who seem to share some of your interests. If you’re honest about your friendship goals, chances are you’ll find other people who are in the same position.
There are also many social media groups that are designed to connect people with similar interests. Just remember that many adults struggle to make friends, so you’re likely to find other people looking for friends if you put yourself out there.
Why is it hard to make friends as an adult?
There are many reasons that adults of all ages may struggle with making or keeping friends. Potential hurdles include having:
A busier schedule
More responsibilities
Social anxiety
A tendency to be more introverted
Many children socialize every day with their peers at school. However, some adults, including older adults, may be less likely to have built-in social groups. And more people have begun working remotely over the past few years. While there are many benefits to remote work, not going into an office can make it more difficult to make friends.
Tips on socializing with other adults
Fortunately, there are ways adults can proactively improve their social connections.
Here are some tips that may help you find and start up new relationships:
Look for friends who are available to spend time with you. Some people may be too busy to invest in a new relationship. So, try not to take it personally if someone doesn’t seem interested in your friendship. There are plenty of people out there looking to connect.
Start by seeking out like-minded people. People with similar backgrounds and viewpoints tend to get along best.
Initiate conversations and try to get to know people. This will help you find out if someone would make a good friend for you. You can start by simply smiling at someone and introducing yourself.
Remember that not everyone you meet will make a compatible friend. Keep interacting with people until you find people you click with.
Frequently asked questions
Research shows that friendship is good for your physical and mental health. Having close friends can improve your mood and lower stress levels. People with strong social connections are more likely to live longer and experience fewer illnesses.
Nurture your new friendship by regularly connecting with your new friend. That can mean texting, talking on the phone, and meeting in person. Investing time into a relationship makes the other person feel valued and helps cement a bond.
If you’re an introvert, it can be daunting to invest the social energy it takes to make new friends. Look for situations that are introvert friendly, like small group activities. You may have more social energy if you try to make new friends during an activity that involves your hobbies and interests.
It can also help to take things slow. You can space out social events so you have more time to replenish your social energy.
Research shows that friendship is good for your physical and mental health. Having close friends can improve your mood and lower stress levels. People with strong social connections are more likely to live longer and experience fewer illnesses.
Nurture your new friendship by regularly connecting with your new friend. That can mean texting, talking on the phone, and meeting in person. Investing time into a relationship makes the other person feel valued and helps cement a bond.
If you’re an introvert, it can be daunting to invest the social energy it takes to make new friends. Look for situations that are introvert friendly, like small group activities. You may have more social energy if you try to make new friends during an activity that involves your hobbies and interests.
It can also help to take things slow. You can space out social events so you have more time to replenish your social energy.
The bottom line
It’s common to struggle with making new friends as an adult. However, putting in the effort to build your social circle may improve your physical and emotional health. Looking for people with common interests can be a great place to start. There are a variety of activities you might try to make new connections. You can start by looking for activities, classes, and social groups in your area.
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References
Abrams, Z. (2023). The science of why friendships keep us healthy. American Psychological Association.
American Psychological Association. (2023). Making new friends and keeping existing ones is hard. Here’s some science-backed tips to help.
Apostolou, M., et al. (2020). What prevents people from making friends: A taxonomy of reasons. Personality and Individual Differences.
Boothby, E. J., et al. (2018). The liking gap in conversations: Do people like us more than we think?. Psychological Science.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023). Social connection.
Eime, R. M., et al. (2013). A systematic review of the psychological and social benefits of participation in sport for adults: Informing development of a conceptual model of health through sport. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity.
National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. (2020). Social isolation and loneliness in older adults: Opportunities for the health care system.
Stinson, D. A., et al. (2009). Deconstructing the ‘reign of error’: Interpersonal warmth explains the self-fulfilling prophecy of anticipated acceptance. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
Yang, Y. C., et al. (2016). Social relationships and physiological determinants of longevity across the human life span. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
