How a Caregiver Learned to Put Her Own Health First: ‘My Self-Care Plan Has Positively Affected My A1C’
Key takeaways:
Nikki Nurse is a 40-year-old content creator in Brooklyn. She’s a full-time caregiver for her mother, Kathy, who has diabetes and dementia.
Nikki has also been dealing with her own Type 2 diabetes diagnosis since 2017.
Nikki juggles daily challenges by making self-care a priority. She says keeping her stress under control is key to lowering her A1C.
Nikki Nurse has been a full-time caregiver for her mom for more than a decade.
They share a home in Brooklyn, where they’re part of a tight-knit circle, with Nikki’s dad next door and a sister nearby. When she’s not at her mom’s bedside, Nikki keeps tabs on her on a video screen while she works in her home office with her dog, Nino, at her feet.
Nikki’s mom, Kathy, has dementia and Type 2 diabetes and just started receiving hospice care.
The stress of watching her mom decline has taken an emotional toll on Nikki.
About 5 years ago, Nikki noticed she was getting so caught up in caring for her mom that she was neglecting her own health. She was experiencing symptoms like excessive thirst, fatigue, and frequent urination. But she didn’t know why.
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A diagnosis of Type 2 diabetes almost came as a relief, she says. She knew she could take steps toward a healthier life. But she needed help.
“One thing to keep in mind is that when you’re managing Type 2 diabetes, really be aware and honest with your struggles,” she says.
The year she got her diabetes diagnosis, Nikki fell and broke both of her feet. It was a crushing double whammy. She leaned on her sister, Natasha, and made a resolution to prioritize her own health.
“It made me even more proactive about my own wellness, my well-being, and being proactive about managing my own care,” Nikki says.
Setting healthy boundaries
Nikki’s wellness plan meant setting boundaries, creating alone time, and finding ways to keep herself from burning out.
Her strategy has worked.
(Photos by ©BrakeThrough Media)
“My self-care plan has positively affected my A1C in so many ways,” she says of the test that monitors her average blood sugar. “From being intentional with my breathing exercises, from doing my yoga exercises, speaking with my therapist weekly, and having those open conversations with my doctors and my personal trainers, it has all really helped with controlling my glucose levels.”
Prioritizing her health has made her a better caregiver, she says.
“As a caregiver, life gets so wild,” Nikki says. “Things happen that are unexpected. Yes, you can plan. You can organize. You can set your day up for however you want it to be. But then, curve balls come. It’s really helpful for me to stay present with what I’m doing with my mom, but also to create a balance where I can be present with myself and what I am in need of.”
Building a care team on a budget
Nikki manages a lot of life with diabetes with a sense of humor.
“I’m a full-time caregiver, and my insurance is dumpster trash,” she jokes. “I can’t afford an endocrinologist through my insurance. My care is usually through my primary care doctor.”
Her health plan works like a gym membership. She pays a $129 flat monthly fee for her healthcare and can go to a New York City clinic but mostly sees her care team through a telehealth app.
“Whenever I’m feeling anything, I always reach out to them,” Nikki says. Her care team connected her with a nutritionist and personal trainer, and she has access to certified diabetes educators.
“Managing Type 2 diabetes is not without its challenges,” she says. “It is a very tricky business. But the way that I have found success is by using all of my elements. And coming to you in 2022, my elements include apps and using a lot of technology. That’s been helpful.”
Letting go of the shame
Nikki has also learned to let go of the mindset that diabetes is a shameful condition.
“There was so much shame I had associated with diabetes because of the culture that I came from,” she says. “But my sister said to me one day, ‘You’re not disabled. You just do things differently.’ And it was like the mind blown emoji. Like, ‘Whoa, you’re right.’”
From motivational sayings in her office to the leopard-print bag that holds her diabetes supplies, she’s intentional about her sense of style.
“My personal philosophy when it comes to managing diabetes is to forgo the shame and flaunt the style,” she says. “I never want to limit myself from enjoying things that I enjoy. So, what that means is if I like to wear heels, I’m going to wear heels. But I’m going to do it in a conscientious way. I probably won’t be wearing 6 inches, but I’m definitely going to wear some inch.”
Crafting a lifestyle that works on her terms
Nikki is not someone who lets diabetes define her life.
She shares details of her life on her blog, and she also shares jewelry designs and self-care advice.
“I’m all about wellness and well-being,” she says. “I don't feel guilty about taking time out for myself.”
Nikki speaks to herself in a kinder way than she did before she became a caregiver and patient herself. She puts a higher priority on relationships and slowing down.
“Before caregiving, I hustled so hard that I never made time to connect with people,” she says.
Making yourself healthy, she says, means no longer putting yourself last.
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