Arthritis Bent My Joints, But I’m Not Broken — My Journey
Key takeaways:
Elizabeth Kieskowski was surprised — and scared — when she got arthritis in her hands. But learning more about her condition helped her understand how she could help herself.
She can’t do some activities that she used to enjoy with her developing arthritis, and her challenge is to live with that.
She’s chosen to accept the challenge by seeking out new, rewarding activities, and finding the benefits that outweigh the drawbacks of arthritis.
My Journey is a series of personal essays about what it’s like to cope with a medical condition.
The thing about my arthritis is that it isn’t just one thing. It’s a medical condition affecting my hands, sure — but it’s also truly an “experience,” as health writers call it when you run up against a life-altering development in the way your body works.
I’ve only just been diagnosed with arthritis in my hands, but it has already changed the way they look and function. Arthritis has also redefined my way of life: My up-and-down levels of pain, swelling, and stiffness force me to pay attention to my body, treat my joints kindly, and be creative about how I enjoy myself.
Having arthritis in my hands is literally a pain. There’s no way around that, and no cure. As I get to know my condition better, however, I’m learning how to adapt. I’m gaining new confidence in my coping skills — and that’s a positive thing.
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What is going on with my hands?
I didn’t figure out that I had arthritis until I developed symptoms: tingling, pain, and weakness in the joints of my fingers and wrists.
Then I looked at my hands one day and realized that they had been transformed — and not in a good way. The topmost joints in each finger had expanded, bulging out enough that I couldn’t slip on a close-fitting ring.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather live pain-free, but not understanding what is happening to you can make you feel like you’re stuck inside a bad dream.”
Strange-looking hard nodules, sensitive to pressure, sometimes red and inflamed, had erupted on the first joint of both ring fingers. Clenching my hands into a fist took effort; those swollen finger joints got in the way.
In a panic, I called my sister, lamenting, “What is going on with my hands?”
I made an appointment at my healthcare clinic. In turn, my practitioner set up a series of blood tests and X-rays.
Looking at my hands, with their thick knuckles, the X-ray technician asked me if I “played a lot of sports.” That made me smile, as I am largely a classic nerd, happiest with my nose in a book. I hike, swim, and walk the beach for exercise — nothing that especially stresses the hands. However, I am over 60, and aging increases the odds of developing arthritis. I’ve also been a writer for most of my adult life.
X-rays revealed that I had “mild” damage to my joints, with some swelling and those protruding, bumpy nodules.
They also showed that the bones in my hands and wrists were thinning. This is classified as “borderline osteopenia.” Osteopenia is relatively common in perimenopausal and menopausal women, so at age 61 my condition isn’t unusual.
Test results indicated that I had osteoarthritis, which often accompanies the thinning bones and wear and tear of aging. But there are more exams and tests in my future.
Taking action — explaining my symptoms, getting the lab work done — felt empowering. It was a first step in educating myself, and in coming to terms with my condition.
What to do — and not to do?
These days I feel, at best, a constant vibration in and around the joints in my hands — the tingle of internal inflammation that is damaging and reshaping my fingers.
On bad days, pain radiates from my hands and wrists, making it hurt to be touched, much less do push-ups.
I’m going to have to live with those symptoms, for the most part. The first thing my nurse practitioner told me about arthritis was, “There is no cure.” But there are things I can do to make living with it a bit easier.
First-line treatments for osteoarthritis are over-the-counter remedies for pain and swelling. I can use a heating pad if my hands really ache.
Eating foods that reduce inflammation, such as berries, fatty fish, and dark, leafy green vegetables helps, as well. I avoid inflammation triggers such as processed meat, sugary foods, and refined carbohydrates.
Exercise that doesn’t stress my joints can also be good, because keeping muscles strong and joints aligned helps avoid further damage. Being overweight increases the risk of developing arthritis; that’s an added incentive to keep moving.
High-impact activities can further damage my joints, and because of that, there’s a growing list of things I shouldn’t do. The saddest “no” for me is a lengthy bike ride, which stresses my hands and wrists. I enjoy skiing, but that’s out from now on, too.
Finally, I need to limit the time spent gripping my phone. It’s tough, but forcing my fingers into that unnatural position and stressing my joints with the weight of the device doesn’t do me any good.
Making lemonade
I was shocked when I first noticed my bony, bulging knuckles and sensitive, inflamed joints. While I know arthritis is common, I didn’t expect it.
Looking back, it seems clear to me that there were warning signs, like the nagging soreness in my overworked ankle and shoulder joints, a sign of osteoarthritis. Morning stiffness, and periods of achiness and fatigue, seemed to have no explanation. Then, I saw that my hands had changed.
Now, whatever was happening to me is no longer invisible. My healthcare providers had something specific to check out, and they have been open to testing and trying out treatments. This is a welcome development.
In the end, I had to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to heal or get better, and would probably face more degeneration over time. So I decided to take living with arthritis as a challenge.
I’m searching out new, rewarding activities that won’t make my hands hurt. Eating right and taking inspiring hikes are good for me in many ways. And I’m planning to snowshoe on my next trip to the mountains.
I also found that there is a lot of information out there for people living with arthritis. GoodRx and the Arthritis Foundation are two good places to start.
My diagnosis came as a relief. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather live pain-free, but not understanding what is happening to you can make you feel like you’re stuck inside a bad dream.
The diagnosis gave me a way to identify and explain my experience. Knowledge gave me tools to respond, and that made me feel that I had some control over my condition.
Taking charge and doing what I can to build my strength and minimize complications builds my confidence. If you’re reading this, and have just learned that you have arthritis, I hope you get to feel that, too.
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