What Is Fat Talk?: How to Shift the Conversation

Key takeaways:

Fat talk is a negative way of speaking about body size, food, and exercise habits when referring to yourself or others. And it’s most common among groups of women.
Body dissatisfaction often increases due to hearing or participating in fat talk. Thinking negatively about your body can lead to mental health concerns like depression or eating disorders.
Fat talk is so common that it can feel like a normal way to communicate. But you can break the cycle of fat talk by learning to notice when it is happening and reframing your thoughts and feelings about your body.

Have you ever overheard a conversation in which people were talking about looking or feeling fat and comparing themselves to others? If so, you were probably hearing fat talk.

Chances are, you’ve heard fat talk at some point in your life. It’s incredibly common and can also be contagious.

What is fat talk?

Fat talk refers to negative or derogatory comments about weight or body size. The comments are often self-deprecating, but they can also be directed at another person or a group of people.

Fat talk typically revolves around:

Food
Eating
Exercise habits
Body size

It can occur anywhere and with anyone. It happens in professional, educational, and social settings and within families. And while it is becoming increasingly common among men, it is highly prevalent among women and girls.

Fat talk stems from a cultural fixation on thinness. Equating a small body size with an ideal standard of beauty has taught us to fear gaining weight or “getting fat.” And engaging in fat talk demonstrates this vigilance around body shape and size. But it does not promote health or positive relationships with our bodies, exercise, and food.

In fact, it does the opposite. People who participate in fat talk may be more likely to experience:

Body dissatisfaction
Depression
An unhealthy pressure to be thin

Examples of fat talk

Fat talk can take many forms. But the following are some examples of the types of comments you might hear if someone around you is engaging in fat talk.

“If I eat that cookie, I’ll undo everything I just did at the gym.”
“I could never pull off that dress at my size.”
“You’re not fat! If you think you’re fat, I must be gigantic!”
“I need to go to the gym to make sure I earn that pizza we’re having later.”
“You look great! Have you lost weight?”
“I’d kill to be that skinny.”
“You can eat whatever you want. You’re already so thin.”
“If I ate like that, I’d be so fat”
“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”
“I think she’s having a tough time. She seems like she’s put on a little weight.”

What are the effects of fat talking?

Fat talk can negatively impact your physical and mental health in a variety of ways. One of the most dangerous outcomes of fat talk is that it can increase feelings of body dissatisfaction.

Having negative feelings about your body can lead to:

Poor self-esteem
Restrictive dieting and disordered eating
Exercising too much
Steroid use
Taking diet pills

In addition, engaging in fat talk can make you more vulnerable to developing a mental health condition like:

Exposure to fat talk can be especially damaging for young people who are susceptible to absorbing negative attitudes about body image from adults and peers.

How do I stop fat talking?

If you use fat talk in everyday conversations, it can be hard to stop. This is especially true because fat talk can be hard to identify at first. But there are a few things you can do to interrupt the thoughts and feelings that can lead to fat talk.

Increase your awareness

The first step in putting an end to fat talk is learning to recognize when you’re engaging in it or when you’re hearing it from someone else. Take some time to explore what’s giving voice to your inner critic or where your tendency to engage in fat talk comes from.

Keep tabs on your social media use

Take a look at the social media you consume, and unfollow anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Instead, look for accounts or creators who focus on sending empowering messages or who don’t focus on body size at all.

Surround yourself with uplifting people

Think about the people you spend the most time with. If there is anyone who tends to criticize you, themselves, or others, consider distancing yourself from that person.

You can also try having a conversation with that person about how fat talk affects you. Ask them to be more mindful of it when they are around you. And spend more time with people who help you feel good about yourself.

Appreciate your body

Each day, your body does so many amazing things for you. When thoughts of fat talk come into your mind, remember that your body is so much more than your appearance. Try to focus on gratitude for all that your body is capable of.

Practice self-care

Show your body some appreciation by engaging in an activity that makes you feel good. This could be:

A long, hot bath with a book
A walk in the park with your dog
Some gentle stretches at the end of a long day

What can I do if I hear someone being body-shamed?

Fat talk has become so normalized that it can feel intimidating to speak up about it. But if you do hear someone making disparaging comments about another person’s body, it’s OK to let them know how harmful those words can be.

Here are some examples of ways you can combat body-shaming or fat talk:

Someone says, “I can’t believe she’s wearing that top.” You could respond with, “I admire the way she looks comfortable with her body.”
Someone says, “Look at how skinny she is. I’d do anything to have her metabolism.” You could say, “Body size doesn’t really tell you anything about someone’s health.”
Someone says, “I can’t believe they’re going back for seconds.” You could respond with, “It’s really not our business what someone else is eating.”

The bottom line

Fat talk is common. And it can have serious negative consequences for anyone who hears it. Research shows that engaging in fat talk can make people more susceptible to mental health conditions like depression and eating disorders. Fortunately, there are things you can do to stop fat talk, starting with learning to recognize it in yourself and others. By paying attention to your thoughts and feelings around body size, you can begin to break the fat talk cycle and learn to see yourself in a more positive light.

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Written by:

Liz Talago, MEd

Liz Talago, MEd, is a mental health content writer and strategist whose work is infused with clinical expertise, behavioral science, and empathic storytelling. After spending years on the front lines of mental health care, Liz now partners with mission-driven organizations across the globe to create digital tools and experiences that enhance well-being.

Edited by:

Renée Fabian, MA

Renée Fabian is the senior pet health editor at GoodRx. She’s worked for nearly 10 years as a journalist and editor across a wide range of health and well-being topics.

Reviewed by:

Katie E. Golden, MD

Katie E. Golden, MD, is a board-certified emergency medicine physician and a medical editor at GoodRx.

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