What Happens When You Lose the Ability to Drive? One Woman’s Story and Tips for Others
Key takeaways:
Losing the ability to drive can dramatically affect your freedom and mental health.
After a traumatic brain injury at 53, Mary Cardwell couldn’t drive for 3 years and felt the loss of her independence.
Adapting and finding alternative transportation options helped restore her mobility and freedom.
At age 53, Mary Cardwell of Arlington, Texas, had to relearn how to talk, write, and speak after a traumatic brain injury. But one of her greatest challenges was losing her ability to drive — and the freedom that came with it — for 3 years.
During that time, she found ways to adapt and regain her confidence.
Now 67, Mary says she’s grateful to be driving again, but she recalls the misery of relying on others for rides. She shares her story and offers tips to help others cope with losing their ability to drive.
A traumatic fall changes everything
On a frigid 2011 winter day in North Texas, Mary, a licensed chemical dependency counselor, slipped on ice outside her workplace. She was lying on the frozen ground outside until a coworker found her. Mary spent 15 days in intensive care and months at a specialized brain injury hospital. The fall was so bad that Mary has no memory of it, and she needed intensive medical help to recover.
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“No one could take care of all my needs,” Mary says.
Losing her independence was the hardest part
Before the fall, Mary regularly drove 120 miles round trip for volunteer ministry work. Suddenly, she couldn’t even manage a trip to the grocery store.
After her hospital stay, she spent a few months in an assisted living residence before returning home to her husband, Ted. Her husband helped drive her around, but the daily need for rides soon became overwhelming.
Even after making car payments on her Ford Fusion for several years, she was unable to drive it. Mary says she felt a sense of despair about her limitations, and she could not work anymore.
“You know what, God?” she recalls praying. “I’m not going to get any better than this. I’m so restricted in what I can do.”
Losing the ability to drive, “feels like a loss of independence,” Mary says. “You can’t just get in a car and go somewhere. I had a lot of losses at that time. I lost my career, and I was never able to go back to it.”
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Coping without a car
For 3 years, Mary relied on Arlington’s Handitran service, a door-to-door rideshare program for people with disabilities. At $2 per trip, it was affordable but not always convenient. Drivers often arrived too early or too late, Mary says, adding stress to her day.
“You just did it, or otherwise you were just stuck at home, and I’m not a stuck-at-home person,” she says.
Mary says she leaned on family and friends for rides. She emphasizes the importance of seeking out transportation resources in your community to maintain some level of independence.
Regaining confidence behind the wheel
Three years after her fall, Mary’s doctors cleared her to drive again. She approached the process cautiously, starting with short trips close to home to rebuild her confidence. She eventually bought a Kia Soul, and she says her sense of freedom began to return.
“I wanted to make sure that I had my faculties together and I could do it like I thought I could,” she says. While she still deals with lingering challenges of the life-altering effects of a brain injury, like balance issues, Mary says she’s aware of her limits.
Advice for others facing similar challenges
Mary has this advice for those who’ve lost the ability to drive:
Research local transportation options. Look for services like Handitran or other transportation programs.
Lean on your support system. Family and friends can help fill transportation gaps.
Stay proactive. Don’t let the loss of driving define your life. Explore alternative ways to stay mobile and connected.
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