Key takeaways:
Anxiety is a normal response your body has to a perceived threat. But if it becomes constant or too intense, you may need some help to calm down.
Coping skills are tools to help you manage tough emotions in the moment.
If your anxiety feels overwhelming and you’re struggling to manage it, reach out to a mental health professional for extra support.
Anxiety is the feeling of worry, dread, or nervousness. Most people feel some anxiety from time to time. A little anxiety can actually be helpful. For example, if you wake up late for work, anxiety may motivate you to shorten your morning routine so you get to the office on time.
But sometimes anxiety can feel overwhelming or last too long. When anxiety becomes too much, it may be helpful to have a “toolbox” of coping skills to help alleviate your stress.
Read on to learn 12 coping skills that may help you calm down when your anxiety is high — and find out when it might be time to look for outside support.
1. Breathing
Yes, breathing! It’s a simple but effective strategy. And there’s research to support breathing exercises to manage stress and anxiety. You breathe naturally all the time, but to use breathing to help with anxiety, you have to focus on how you’re breathing. Controlled breathing, especially focusing on the exhale, is key.
One example of a breathing technique is diaphragmatic breathing:
Sit in a comfortable position.
Place one hand on your stomach.
Breathe in deeply through your nose and notice your hand rise as your belly expands.
Exhale slowly and notice how your hand moves down with each exhale.
Try to keep your mind focused on your breath and the movement of your hand.
Repeat as needed.
There are many types of breathing techniques out there for you to try, including box breathing. It may take some time and practice to become skilled at using breathing as a coping skill for anxiety.
2. Mindfulness meditation
Meditation is the practice of focusing your mind on the present moment. You can focus on your thoughts, emotions, and the sensations in your body. Or you can focus outside of yourself by noticing your surroundings and environment. No matter how you practice mindfulness, observe your experience with curiosity, openness, and without judgment.
There are many mindful meditation exercises available. Here are a couple to get you started:
Body scan script: This script focuses on sensations within your body. Record yourself reading the script before you begin. This lets you listen to your own voice guiding you through the exercise.
10-minute meditation for stress: This video from Headspace walks you through a guided meditation. There are many other meditation apps and videos online that offer a variety of guided meditations.
Do you know when to get help? Here are some signs that it may be time to seek help for your anxiety.
What if someone you love has anxiety? It can be tricky, but there are steps you can take to help someone else with anxiety.
Treating anxiety: There isn’t a single cure for anxiety, but therapy, medications, and natural remedies can help. Here’s what treatment can look like.
Meditation and breathing exercises have been proven to lessen stress and anxiety. Keep in mind that research shows the best results usually come after a few months of practicing these techniques. Try not to get discouraged and give yourself time and practice to see how it works for you.
3. Yoga
Yoga is a blend of physical exercise, mindfulness meditation, and breathwork. All of these have been shown to help lessen anxiety. Starting a regular yoga practice may help lower your overall anxiety.
Here’s how to get started with yoga:
Search online for in-person classes near you. Most yoga studios offer beginner classes to help new students learn the poses and flow of yoga.
Try yoga from the comfort of your home. Start with an online class, like this 30-minute yoga for beginners video by yoga teacher Adriene Mishler.
Download an app. There are many yoga apps available. One option is Yoga for Beginners from Mind+Body. But check your app store for an option that feels right for you.
Look for other varieties. If you like adventure, look for goat yoga or puppy yoga classes in your area for an added layer of fun.
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4. Grounding
Anxiety is a future-focused response. This means that when you feel anxious, it’s generally a fear of something happening in the future. Grounding helps you focus on the present moment, which is why it can be a helpful coping skill for anxiety.
Grounding exercises often use your five senses to anchor you to the here and now. Breathing can be one type of grounding exercise, but there are many other options you can try.
Try this visual grounding exercise:
Pick a color.
Now, say the name of every object around you that’s that color
Repeat this a few times if needed.
Try this tactile grounding exercise:
Take off your shoes and walk barefoot.
Pay close attention to how the ground feels underneath your feet.
Wiggle your toes or stand on your tiptoes.
Pay close attention to the sensations.
Notice the temperature of the ground as you walk.
5. Progressive muscle relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation is another coping skill that helps reduce anxiety by easing tension in your body. It involves tensing and then relaxing different muscles to promote relaxation.
To try progressive muscle relaxation:
Start at your feet and work your way up your body’s muscle groups.
For each muscle group, tense the muscles for 5 seconds.
Then, slowly release the tension while counting to 10.
Move up to your calves, knees, thighs, and so on.
You can find many free videos and scripts on progressive muscle relaxation online. These can offer you spoken guidance or more specific instructions.
6. Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk has been shown to help lower anxiety. The way we think about things can raise overall anxiety. By shifting your focus to more positive or neutral ideas about life and yourself, your brain will shift away from anxious thinking.
Some ways to help boost your use of positive self-talk are:
Write down five things you’re grateful for or that are working well in your life.
Write down five things you like about yourself.
Use positive affirmations, like “I can do hard things” or “I accept myself for who I am.”
For social anxiety, try talking positively to yourself in the third person (using pronouns and your name instead of saying "I" or "me").
It takes time and practice to challenge unhelpful thoughts and replace them with helpful thoughts and language. If you have lots of negative thoughts and you’re struggling to manage them on your own, consider cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). CBT is a therapy that helps you tackle unhelpful thinking styles that can lead to anxiety.
7. Purposeful distraction
Before anxiety strikes, create a list of things you enjoy doing. Keep the list on your phone or somewhere easy to reach. Choose things that are fairly easy to do on any given day. You may also want to include a few things you can do at work or school in a pinch.
Below are some examples of activities that can be used as a distraction. Feel free to use what fits you and ignore what doesn’t:
Listen to upbeat or positive music
Dance
Work out
Go for a walk
Watch a movie
Call a supportive friend or family member
Get out into nature
Journal
Draw, paint, or color
Read a book
Play with a pet
Distraction can be a great way to take a break from overwhelming feelings. But too much distraction can become avoidance. Make sure you use distraction as a break or a way to calm down, not as a way to run away from feelings.
8. Changing your temperature
Sometimes, when your anxiety is intense or overwhelming, you may feel the effects in your body. Your heart may race, or you might start breathing faster. If this is the case, using cool or cold temperatures can sometimes slow down your body’s anxiety response.
Below are some ideas on how to use temperature to cool down:
Splash cold water on your face.
Take a cold or cool shower.
Rub ice cubes on your face.
Bite into a slice of frozen lemon.
Put a cool compress on your face, neck, chest, or stomach.
9. Humming
The vagus nerve connects your brain to many of your major organs. The vagus nerve helps activate your body’s rest response. This is the opposite response to your body’s fight-flight-freeze response linked to anxiety response.
Learning to stimulate the vagus nerve can help you activate your rest response. This can be a way to help yourself calm down when experiencing anxiety.
One natural way to do this is to hum! You can also simulate your vagus nerve by singing or laughing. So next time you feel anxious, try humming or singing your favorite song and notice how it makes you feel.
10. Walking or other physical exercise
Like breathing, walking can help ease anxiety in many ways. One way to use walking is to walk in nature. Walking in nature has been shown to lessen anxiety. You can also boost the benefits of walking by combining it with mindfulness or grounding skills. While you walk, pay attention to the colors or use your five senses to focus on your surroundings.
Another benefit of walking is that it naturally provides bilateral stimulation to your brain. Bilateral stimulation is a way of activating both sides of your brain in an alternating left-to-right pattern. Therapists use bilateral stimulation in a type of trauma therapy known as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR). But it also occurs naturally in our eye movements when we sleep and during walking.
Bilateral stimulation can help you feel more relaxed, process problems, and may ease worry. So if you’re struggling with increased anxiety, taking a short walk may help lower it.
11. Butterfly hug
Another way to use bilateral stimulation to your benefit is a technique known as the butterfly hug. This exercise uses a combination of breathing and bilateral stimulation to help lower anxiety. There are videos available online to learn how to use the butterfly hug.
12. Journaling
Journaling can support your mental health in a few different ways, including helping you manage anxiety. If you often find yourself stuck in a cycle of worry, jotting things down can help you break the cycle. Journaling can be a useful outlet to process emotions. Try journaling for 10 to 15 minutes a few times a week and increase from there if it helps.
When should you get help for your anxiety?
If your anxiety continues to affect your day-to-day life even after using your coping skills, it may be time to get help from a mental health professional.
Some other signs that it might be time to get extra support include:
You can’t function at work, school, or in social situations
Your anxiety is greatly affecting your relationships with others
You’re beginning to avoid people, places, or things
Your anxiety is causing physical symptoms or disrupting sleep often
Therapy can be a useful tool to help you understand and manage your anxiety. If you’re struggling to manage your anxiety on your own, or feel it negatively affects your social, school, or work life, ask for help. A mental health professional will be able to help you figure out if you have an anxiety disorder and map out a course of action to help limit your anxiety.
Frequently asked questions
Knowing what to say or do when a loved one has anxiety can be tricky. But there are a few tips that can help. It’s important to be a good listener, offer your help, and support them if they want to get help. Do your best to avoid saying things that could be felt as dismissive, such as “this will pass,” or “You’re OK.”
This grounding exercise can help calm anxious thoughts. To do this exercise, name three things you can see. Then, notice three sounds you can hear. Finally, move three different body parts. These simple steps can help redirect your attention and focus.
If your usual coping mechanisms aren’t working to calm your anxiety, know that you aren’t alone. Be kind to yourself and try a new strategy.
Professional help is also available. You can start by talking to your primary care provider, or you can follow these steps to find a therapist to work with. There are many options when it comes to therapy and therapists, so it may take some time to find what works best for you.
Knowing what to say or do when a loved one has anxiety can be tricky. But there are a few tips that can help. It’s important to be a good listener, offer your help, and support them if they want to get help. Do your best to avoid saying things that could be felt as dismissive, such as “this will pass,” or “You’re OK.”
This grounding exercise can help calm anxious thoughts. To do this exercise, name three things you can see. Then, notice three sounds you can hear. Finally, move three different body parts. These simple steps can help redirect your attention and focus.
If your usual coping mechanisms aren’t working to calm your anxiety, know that you aren’t alone. Be kind to yourself and try a new strategy.
Professional help is also available. You can start by talking to your primary care provider, or you can follow these steps to find a therapist to work with. There are many options when it comes to therapy and therapists, so it may take some time to find what works best for you.
The bottom line
Anxiety is your body’s way of alerting you to threats and helping you take action. A little anxiety is normal to experience. But when anxiety gets overwhelming, coping skills can help you manage it in the moment.
To cope with anxiety, try breathing and grounding exercises, taking a walk, or engaging in a distraction activity. If you feel like your anxiety happens a lot or is intense, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for added support.
Why trust our experts?
References
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