Living With Extra Weight: When You Don’t Focus on the Scale, You Can Get Healthy From the Inside Out
Key takeaways:
Yelena Kibasova has been 300 pounds, and she’s been half that weight.
It took her years to realize that fitness isn’t all about the numbers on the scale.
The bottom line is that she wants to be healthy from the inside out.
When it comes to fitness, weight loss isn’t everything. For Yelena Kibasova, it’s the last thing.
Yelena long scorned exercise, both when she weighed 305 pounds and after she’d lost 150 pounds with the help of weight-loss surgery.
But 4 years after getting surgery, she gained back 80 pounds while pregnant with her son. Determined to lose the weight, she joined a gym and discovered Zumba, a fitness program with choreographed movements set to upbeat salsa and international music. She even became an instructor herself.
She also realized that exercise is about being healthy from the inside out. Her perspective has evolved since she became a fitness instructor herself. Now she helps others come to terms with their bodies and reset what fitness means in their minds.
“Let’s not tie fitness too much to weight loss, because that can be a lose-lose situation,” says Yelena, of Maple Grove, Minnesota. “When my students finally lay off the ‘I’m here to lose weight’ mentality, they tend to find more joy in exercise because they are no longer trying to force an outcome they can’t really control.”
Fitness is not scary
People can maintain their health in the kitchen, at the gym, on the track, in their living room, or wherever else they feel comfortable, Yelena says. She’s taught fitness just about everywhere — from pools to classrooms, and from parks to convention halls during the annual Obesity Action Coalition convention. “Where you move your body doesn’t matter, as long as you move it,” she says.
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“Fitness is not scary. If it’s scary to you, don’t use the word ‘fitness.’ Don’t use the word ‘exercise.’ Use the word ‘movement,’” Yelena says. “It can be gardening. It could be walking your dog. I have a friend who hates exercise but loves playing tennis … Another friend was having a hard time getting started, so I said, ‘Have a 5-minute dance party with your daughter every day.’ It turned into a 30-minute dance party because you can’t just dance for 5 minutes.”
Intense cardio? At least not immediately
On television weight-loss shows, trainers push overweight contestants to do high-intensity activities, like biking or running for hours on end, and then showcase their clients’ weight loss.
Doing too much, too soon, is not a good idea, Yelena says. It’s unsustainable and, more importantly, she says, it’s dangerous.
“The unfortunate issue with fitness is that you’re fed these lies —like you have to go crazy with your workouts or it doesn’t count … For a person who has struggles with morbid obesity, marching their feet in place might be the perfect cardio,” she says. “My advice is to start slow, fitting fitness in a couple of days per week to start. Remember, fitness may already be part of your daily activities: Walking up and down stairs, walking from the car to the store, or playing with your kids.”
Set small, realistic fitness goals
It’s also critical to set smaller, realistic goals, she says.
“If you’re 300 pounds and you say you want to be 150 pounds, that’s a long-term goal that may not keep you motivated,” Yelena says. “When you start fitness, set goals that have nothing to do with the way your body looks or how much it weighs but more to do with the way your body functions. ‘I want to be able to chase my son … I want to breathe easier going up the stairs.’”
When Yelena coaches individuals or leads fitness classes, she wants them to leave with a positive feeling about movement.
For example, during a recent Aqua Zumba class, Yelena incorporated Irish dance. The class, all ages and sizes, loved it, she says. Yelena also teaches virtually, and a new student recently told her, ‘I thought that was going to be worse. It was actually really fun. I got my heart rate going, but I didn’t feel stupid and I didn’t feel bad.’”
Body acceptance doesn’t have to mean ailment acceptance
People sometimes ask Yelena, “What about accepting yourself as you are?”
She’s quick to point out that you can accept your body at any shape while still trying to get healthier.
“Body acceptance doesn’t have to mean ailment acceptance,” she says. “If you need assistance getting out of bed because of your weight, that’s not something you have to accept and something you can work towards improving.”
Or they grouse that they just don’t have the time to exercise. That doesn’t hold up with Yelena, a single mother with a demanding career. She plays on an adult hockey team, teaches fitness, and coaches her son’s hockey team.
“In our busy lives, it can be difficult to prioritize movement,” she says. “The best way for me to stick with fitness is to schedule it. I schedule my workouts like I schedule my work meetings.”
Many people have misguided ideas of how they should look based on what they see in magazines or on Instagram. Turn away, Yelena advises.
“It’s intimidating when you see those things and go, ‘That’s not possible for me, so I’m not going to do it,’” she says. “Even though I’m a fitness instructor, that's never going to be me either. For example, things are never going to be that smooth on my body. I’m never going to bend the way some people do.”
“Fitness is not what you see in magazines,” she says. “Fitness is individual. For some, it’s running 10 miles. For others, it’s walking up and down the block.”
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