5 Ways to Be an LGBTQ+ Ally

Why are allies important?

The modern LGBTQ+ rights movement was built upon the work of queer and trans folks from generations past — most notably Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. LGBTQ+ folks have since followed their lead into the present day. This includes not only fighting for the rights of queer people, but creating a world where their families are just as supported as everyone else’s families.

Allies are important because they’ve been crucial in this effort — and will continue to be. The burden can’t fall solely on people within the LGBTQ+ community. Like-minded and caring allies are needed to provide support, to listen, and act.

What makes someone a good ally?

A good ally recognizes that everyone’s allyship needs are unique to who they are, their experiences, and the situation they’re in. Strong allies also recognize that it isn’t the responsibility of the LGBTQ+ community to educate them on how to provide support. 

A good ally also understands that showing up for others isn’t a formula to be memorized or a box to be checked. It’s having the ability to listen in a way that centers the voices and the people in the community. 

A good ally isn’t trying to prove something with their words or actions for their own self-interest. Allyship isn’t about taking what you’ve learned and using it to show off when others misstep. Instead, allyship needs to be focused on supporting and meeting the needs of others.

1) Center and amplify LGBTQ+ voices

It’s important to keep in mind that allyship isn’t about you. It’s about the people and the communities you’re supporting. And it starts with recognizing and believing their experiences, challenges, and struggles. It also means using your position to amplify their voices.

This includes making sure that everyone has a seat at the table, starting with the most vulnerable. But it’s important to create space for people in the community to lead the overall effort. You shouldn’t be silent, but you’re also not the focus.

2) Push yourself outside of your comfort zone

It’s easy to attend a Pride parade or put a sign on your lawn. And while these can be a great show of support, there’s a lot more work to be done. 

Volunteer somewhere that’s outside of your comfort zone — get up close and personal. See and feel the things people in the community are going through to get perspective. LGBTQ Allyship offers flexible volunteer opportunities like phone banking and tabling at events. You can also volunteer to be a crisis support counselor with the Trevor Project, a suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for the LGBTQ+ community.

Tactfully engage with friends and family who participate knowingly (or unknowingly) in homophobic, transphobic, or biphobic dialogue. The same goes for bullying and hate speech that you see online. This can be uncomfortable. But standing up for others is an essential part of being an ally. Use what you’ve learned to educate others.

Understand that sometimes your intentions may be met with skepticism. Be humble in the fact that it will take time to establish trust with people in the community. A lot of allyship can be performative, meaning that the motivation behind it is mostly symbolic. Make it clear that you’re willing to put in the work.

3) Show respect and be mindful when you’re in LGBTQ+ spaces

Whether it’s a drag show or queer club, these are spaces where LGBTQ+ folks are able to connect with others in the community. They’re also able to express themselves more freely. 

These venues can also be popular destinations for a night out with friends or a bachelorette party. But it’s important to understand their history, purpose, and who they ultimately serve. Show respect and be mindful when you’re in these spaces. Support the performers and staff who are creating the experience.

Remember: Supporting these businesses isn’t a form of allyship if your efforts aren’t continued after you leave at the end of the night. This is a type of performative allyship that doesn’t contribute to progress.

5) Be an ally for the entire LGBTQ+ community

It’s important to recognize that there’s an entire spectrum of gender identities and sexual orientations within the LGBTQ+ community. But there are also many people along the spectrum who are disproportionately disenfranchised. 

For example, Black transfeminine people are often victims of violence and murder. And the Black trans community has been disproportionately affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. So, it’s important to make sure you’re showing up for the most vulnerable in the community, too.

Each individual’s experiences have shaped how they view the world, themselves, and their community. Sometimes this can make it difficult to understand or empathize with someone else. It can also cause someone to hold onto views that oppress themselves or others. 

This holds true for allies outside of and within the LGBTQ+ community. Allyship is recognizing  these differences and being an ally for the entire community.

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Written by:

Max Rigano

Max Rigano (he/they) is a diversity, equity, and inclusion advocate who educates through writing, public speaking, and social media (@kngmaxy). Max uses his training, personal, and professional experiences to promote transgender equity and health, both in and outside of the trans community.

Edited by:

Alyssa Billingsley, PharmD

Alyssa Billingsley, PharmD, is the director of pharmacy content for GoodRx. She has over a decade of experience as a pharmacist and has worked in clinical, academic, and administrative roles.

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