What Is It Like to Have Bipolar 1 Disorder?
Key takeaways:
Bipolar 1 disorder is characterized by extreme shifts in energy or mood.
People with bipolar 1 disorder have episodes of mania, often followed by periods of depression.
People who live with the condition say it can be managed with medications and therapy.
Living with bipolar 1 disorder can be challenging. The condition can have a big impact on how you feel, think, act, and live.
People who have bipolar 1 describe manic and depressive episodes — and mood swings that have affected their relationships.
But with proper treatment, three people who talked to GoodRx say the condition is manageable.
Walking a tightrope of mixed emotions
Akshay Chakravarthy, a 41-year-old patent lawyer from Oak Park, California, says the stress of law school contributed to his bipolar 1 disorder diagnosis in 2010.
After law school, he failed the bar exam on his first attempt. It left him devastated.
“My mind started racing: ‘What if I am not going to be a lawyer?’” he says. “‘How else am I going to support myself?”
After failing the exam, Akshay recalls falling into a manic episode that lasted for a few months. He didn’t immediately seek help. However, he eventually checked into a hospital and got a bipolar 1 disorder diagnosis at 28 years old.
He remembers feeling sleep deprived for months but finding balance once he started taking prescription medications.
“There was this feeling of: ‘I don’t have to look negatively at the medication anymore,’” Akshay says.
He took the bar exam again and passed. And he didn’t have another manic episode until 2018. He was married with a 2-year-old at the time, and he says his mental health was affecting his relationship.
When he was having a manic episode, Akshay says, he wasn’t aware of it. But his mind would race, and he felt more aggressive.
“You see the world through like genius eyes, and you can accomplish anything you want,” he says. “It can get out of hand quick. I lost some dear friendships because I said mean things when I was manic.”
His experience led him to create STIGMAttraction, a platform where people with mental or physical disabilities can connect and share similar experiences.
It’s been a difficult road, but Akshay hasn’t had a manic episode in 5 years. He says he has learned how to “live a thriving, functional life.”
Breaking the stigma of having a mental health crisis
Melanie Carlson remembers her mental health crisis starting in 2007, when she was part of a court case involving her old job.
“I got increasingly paranoid, and stopped sleeping," Melanie, who’s now 42 and working in social media in Washington, D.C., says of her symptoms. “I was like, ‘Oh I just had a nervous breakdown. It’s fine.’ And then it happened again within a couple of weeks.”
She was hospitalized and got a bipolar 1 disorder diagnosis.
“Back then, it was very humiliating because I don’t even know if I knew exactly what it was,” she says.
She tried taking sedatives, which left her "in a fog." Since then, she's found a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant work better for her. She also speaks often with her psychiatrist.
But as the mother of a 6-year-old, it can be difficult to know whether parenting or the medications are the reason she’s tired all the time.
“Sometimes teasing out ‘Is it the medication? Is it not the medication?’ can be a process,” she says.
Over time, she’s learned the importance of proper sleep and breaking the stigma of bipolar disorder.
“What people don’t know is you are fine most of the time,” she says. “You kind of learn your triggers.”
Finding a way to be a light for others
When Rikki Lee Travolta was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder in 2008, he says he had no idea how tumultuous a journey it would be.
At the time of his diagnosis, it was evident to people around him that there was a lot wrong, he says.
“It is oftentimes hard for the person experiencing it to realize that there is a problem,” says Rikki, who is now 53 and lives in Woodstock, Illinois. “Being told that there’s something wrong with you can be taken as criticism, even if it’s presented kindly.”
Rikki was hospitalized and eventually learned to accept his diagnosis.
When he had manic episodes, he felt like he was “in a stolen sports car racing down the expressway in the middle of the night with the lights off in the middle of a snowstorm,” he says.
It took 5 years to find the right combination of medications that helped. He made lifestyle changes, got sober, and found a psychiatrist and psychologist.
“Once you get sober and you get medicated and you get therapy, life can be good,” he says.
He says he’s open about his story because he knows what it is like to live with this disability.
“We are all trying our best. Some of us have challenges that sometimes need a little more understanding and compassion from others. Be the person that makes others feel safe. Be the person who listens.”
He says he wants to give others hope.
“If I can be that light to people,” he says, “hey, I’m happy to do it.”
What does the doctor say?
Patricia Pinto-Garcia, MD, MPH
Medical Editor
Bipolar 1 disorder is fairly common, affecting up to 4% of Americans. People with bipolar 1 disorder can experience dramatic shifts in their mood and energy levels. This can make it difficult to accomplish everyday tasks and succeed at work or in school. It can also affect relationships.
Bipolar 1 disorder is a chronic condition, meaning most people live with it for decades. And people can experience periods where the condition is more active.
The good news is that there are many treatment options for bipolar 1 disorder. Newer treatments carry fewer side effects than older medications. And the rise in new treatments makes it easier for people to find options that work for them. It’s no longer a “one-size-fits-all” strategy.
If you’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, don’t hesitate to work with your healthcare team to find a treatment option that meets your needs.
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