4 Ways to Manage Your Emotional Relationship With Money

It might seem like money is simply what's sitting in your wallet or your checking account. But there's much more to it than that, such as how you feel about money. Your feelings toward money can be tied back to many outside factors. Everything from your parents' spending habits to economic issues like inflation can shape your relationship with money.

Anyone who’s ever struggled to pay their bills knows the stress that financial pressure can cause. But whether you’re living paycheck to paycheck or more comfortably, your relationship with money can take a toll on your mental health.

The good news is you can change your emotional relationship to money. This can help your mental and financial health. So if you’re stressing about money, check out these four tips to help.

How to transform your relationship with money

The way you feel about money today is the result of a lifetime of experiences and influences. So it's important to remember that while it's possible, transforming your relationship with money may take some time.

Here are a few ways to get started.

1. Stay on top of your self-care

Financial stress can take its toll on your physical, mental, and emotional health. It might be tempting to numb feelings of stress with substances such as alcohol. But, alcohol can add to your stress and doesn’t solve financial problems themselves. Enter self-care.

Contrary to what you might see on social media, you can practice self-care without spending a dime. So when you're feeling overwhelmed, make time for some low to no-cost self-care. This could be taking a walk in your local park, reading a library book, or spending time with friends and family. It is also helpful to keep your daily routine.

2. Talk to someone you trust

Even though financial stress is a widespread problem, many people feel like they're alone in their struggles. They might feel ashamed of their spending habits, how much debt they have, or how much money they earn. This can lead to feelings of isolation that can make the problem even worse.

So if you're feeling stressed about money, talking to someone you trust can help. This could be a loved one, a therapist, or a financial coach.

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3. Face your financial worries head on

If you're feeling overwhelmed about money, it can be easy to ignore the problem. As bills pile up it might be tempting to toss them in the trash or stop looking at your bank account balance or credit card statements. This is a form of avoidance that might help alleviate stress temporarily. But for financial health in the long run, it’s best to know the details of your current financial picture.

Tap into a free budgeting app, request assistance from someone you trust, or look up articles online that can help you sort out your financial situation. Set small goals as you go.

4. Get outside support

If your financial situation is negatively affecting you or your family, know that you don't have to face it alone. Consider speaking with a mental health professional who specializes in financial concerns to help you get back on track.

A financial coach or financial planner can also be good resources if you’re able to tap into them. You can also consider joining a free support group like Debtors Anonymous.

What emotional and psychological impact does money have on our lives?

There is a clear link between money and mental health. People with financial strain are more likely to struggle with mental health concerns such as depression. This is a vicious cycle, because mental illness can make it harder to navigate money problems.

For many people, the amount of money they have (or don't have) can be a constant source of stress. They may worry about their ability to provide for themselves and their families. In times of economic upheaval, they may worry about layoffs or how they'll cope with a major expense.

But even people in the highest tax brackets are susceptible to financial strain. The meaning we attach to money can leave anyone feeling like they never have enough, no matter how much they make.

Another common financial challenge that can affect emotional well-being is compulsive spending. Many people engage in “retail therapy” or shopping as a way to soothe uncomfortable emotions. But like other compulsive behaviors, compulsive shopping often leads to other problems that can damage your mental (and financial) health.

What does an unhealthy relationship with money look like?

Almost everyone will experience financial stress at some point in their lives. Those worries come from things like losing a job, getting behind on loan payments, or experiencing a costly, unexpected expense. But for people who have an unhealthy relationship with money, finances are a constant source of mental and emotional stress.

If you or someone you care about exhibits any of the following, it might be helpful to talk to a financial coach and/or a mental health professional:

• Engaging in compulsive spending or shopping that puts your well-being at risk

• Going without basic necessities even though you have the means to afford them

• Spending in secret or hiding your purchases from loved ones

• Avoiding doing things you enjoy because of unfounded fears of spending money

• Feeling guilty whenever you spend money, even small amounts

• Avoiding talking about money because of feelings of shame or embarrassment

• Feeling as if your money controls you (instead of the other way around)

• Constantly arguing with loved ones about money

Benefits of healing your relationship with money

While it may take some time and hard work, there are many benefits to healing your relationship with money. In taking the time to examine and improve this relationship, you can strengthen your mental health and overall well-being.

Plus, money problems are a major source of conflict for many couples and families. So by healing your relationship with money, you can also heal your relationships with the people you care about.

Resources on changing your relationship with money

If you're interested in changing your relationship with money, the following resources can help:

• Find a financial therapist through the Financial Therapy Association’s directory.

• Check to see if your bank offers any free financial support or planning services.

• Read through the Foundation for Financial Planning’s comprehensive list of financial resources.

• Visit GreenPath Financial Wellness to get financial counseling and many other resources.

• If you have a low income, you may qualify for free financial planning through the Financial Planning Association (FPA).

• Join a support group like Debtors Anonymous or Spenders Anonymous.

• Find an accredited financial counselor to help you meet your goals.

• Explore free resources for financial well-being from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

Why trust our experts?

Written by:

Liz Talago, MEd

Liz Talago, MEd, is a mental health content writer and strategist whose work is infused with clinical expertise, behavioral science, and empathic storytelling. After spending years on the front lines of mental health care, Liz now partners with mission-driven organizations across the globe to create digital tools and experiences that enhance well-being.

Edited by:

Renée Fabian, MA

Renée Fabian is the senior pet health editor at GoodRx. She’s worked for nearly 10 years as a journalist and editor across a wide range of health and well-being topics.

Reviewed by:

Mona Bapat, PhD, HSPP

Mona Bapat, PhD, HSPP, has 15 years of clinical experience providing therapy. She is a licensed clinical psychologist in Indiana and Illinois with treatment experience in individual, couples, family, and group therapy modalities.

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