Separation Anxiety: How to Help Your Dog (or Cat) Stay Calm When You Leave
Key takeaways:
Changes in a pet owner’s routine, like going back to working in an office after the pandemic, can trigger separation anxiety in pets.
Anxious pets show signs like pacing, panting, having no interest in treats, being destructive, or barking or meowing more than usual.
You can help your pet cope with separation anxiety by using behavior training techniques and working with your veterinarian.
Separation anxiety — sometimes called separation distress — is when your pet is scared of being separated from you and becomes anxious or panicked when you leave. Both cats and dogs can develop separation anxiety.
The good news is that there are many ways you can help your dog or cat feel less anxious when you’re away.
How do you help a dog with separation anxiety?
A combination of training techniques and changes to your dog’s environment will go a long way to helping them with their separation anxiety. Here are five strategies you can try to get started.
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1. Desensitization and counterconditioning techniques
Desensitization and counterconditioning training is one of the most effective ways to help pets with separation anxiety. These techniques — which are often used together — teach your animal to feel calmer when you leave.
You can practice desensitization and counterconditioning in several different ways. If you need guidance, ask a vet, televet, trainer, or animal behaviorist for support. Here’s how it works:
Desensitization: Little by little, start to leave your dog (or cat) alone. This can take patience. At first, your animal may only be able to tolerate your absence for a few seconds. Gradually increase the time you’re gone as your pet gets more comfortable. Over time, your pet should learn to cope with your departure.
Counterconditioning: Counterconditioning involves giving your pet rewards when you leave so that they can focus on something other than your departure. It’s harder for pets to feel anxious when they’re busy enjoying something fun or tasty. To try this out, give your dog a special treat every time you leave. For cats, save their favorite toy only for those times you walk out the door.
So what might a training session look like in practice? Here’s an example:
Walk out of your home like you’re going to leave. If your dog panics after 10 seconds, set your timer there.
Leave again for 10 seconds, and then come back inside.
Stay calm and don’t make a big deal about your exit or return.
Remain in the room with them for a moment and try again.
Do this until your pet’s no longer stressed at the 10-second mark.
Then, set the timer for longer, moving it up to 20 seconds, and repeat the process.
During these sessions, mix up how long you’re gone, incorporating longer periods of time so that your pet learns you will come back, whether it’s after a few seconds or longer. But go slowly to avoid overwhelming your pet. Give them their favorite treat or toy only when you leave; this helps them feel like it’s a good thing that you are leaving.
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Some pets with separation anxiety begin negative behaviors as soon as they see signs that their owner is about to leave. To help counteract this, try acting out your normal leaving routine — such as putting on your shoes and getting your bag and keys — and then just sit on the couch and don’t go anywhere.
How long does it take for desensitization and counterconditioning to work?
Depending on your pet, it could take anywhere from a few weeks to more than a month of training before they’re comfortable with separation. Though effective, desensitization and counterconditioning techniques take time and patience to work.
In general, the amount of time the training takes to work depends in part on how quickly your pet panics when you leave. The time it takes for them to panic is their threshold — or starting place. It may only be a couple of seconds at first. You’ll need to increase their time apart from you step by step, until they can tolerate minutes and then hours home alone.
Aim to work on training for about 30 minutes a day. Start at a different time each day so your dog (or cat) gets accustomed to you leaving at different hours.
2. Use positive reinforcement to reward good behavior
Sometimes, anxious pets can damage their owner’s home or possessions. If your pet does this, it may be tempting to yell at them when you return home. But this isn’t an effective way to change their behavior.
Yelling at or punishing animals will only increase their stress. Some dogs may even become more aggressive when they’re trained using punishment or negative reinforcement. So always use positive reinforcement with your pet.
Using positive reinforcement during training has other benefits:
It can shorten the amount of time it takes to train your pet.
Positive reinforcement is often more effective when your pet is learning a new skill.
You can also help your pet build trust in you by rewarding behavior you want, which makes your intentions clear.
The key to positive reinforcement is rewarding and praising the behavior you want to see. If you leave for a few minutes and your dog remains calm, give them extra praise. (Or, if you’re trying to train a cat, give them a treat when they use the scratching post instead of your furniture.) Eventually, your pet will associate acting calmly with rewards, even when you’re away.
3. Make sure your dog gets plenty of activity
Pets thrive with play, exercise, and mental stimulation. When those needs aren’t met, dogs — or cats — may act out or experience separation anxiety.
“One of the main things you want to do to try to prevent anxiety in your pets and other behavioral issues would be to try to make sure the home environment meets the needs of the pets,” says Ghanasyam Bey, DVM, an emergency veterinarian at VCA Care Specialty and Emergency Animal Hospital in California.
Think of environmental enrichment as prevention for separation anxiety. Strategies veterinarians recommend to keep dogs happy include:
Going for regular walks with your dog (aiming for at least 30 minutes of exercise each day)
Spending time playing with your dog
Working on training activities
Giving your dog physical attention, like petting
Brushing your dog at home
Considering doggy daycare or hiring a dog walker
4. Give dogs something safe to chew on
Anxious dogs are also prone to chewing things they shouldn’t, like doors and wires. Stefanie Schwartz, DVM, MSc, DACVB, a board-certified veterinary specialist in pet behavior who practices in California, recommends leaving dogs with special proteins they can gnaw instead.
Some good choices are:
Bully sticks or twists
Rawhide strips or rolls
Cow ears
5. Provide lots of affection when you’re home
Make sure you spend quality time with your pet when you’re at home. Just like humans, pets need social interaction to feel safe, content, and happy.
How do you help a cat with separation anxiety?
When you engage with your pet, they’re happier overall. Pets that get plenty of exercise and entertainment use up their energy in healthy ways before you leave. A bored pet is more likely to seek out extra attention with unwanted behavior.
Cats need exercise, play time, and interaction, too. Some ways you can do this include:
Adding perches and cat trees
Providing several scratching post options
Giving them a variety of toys for pouncing, chasing, and chewing
Using food puzzles
Brushing your cat regularly
Can vets help with a dog or cat who has separation anxiety?
If your dog or cat is too anxious to focus on training — or their unusual behavior doesn’t stop after you come home — talk to your pet’s veterinarian. You want to make sure your pet is healthy and learn all your options for helping them with separation anxiety.
Here’s what you’ll want to consider when you talk to the vet:
Underlying medical conditions: Some animals show signs of distress because of a medical condition, not separation anxiety. It can be hard to tell the difference between anxiety and behaviors that are a result of pain. A visit to the vet can help clear this up.
Ways to change behavior: Ask your vet for other training suggestions to reduce your pet’s separation anxiety, especially if your pet destroys things when you leave them alone. A veterinarian can recommend good trainers or animal behavior specialists to help you.
Anxiety medication: After evaluating your pet, your veterinarian may suggest they take medication for a certain amount of time. This can also help with training, especially if your pet gets too anxious when you leave home. Medication can help reduce a pet’s fear enough to get past highly stressful triggers that prevent them from engaging in training.
Medications for separation anxiety in dogs and cats
Vets typically prescribe certain antidepressants for pets with separation anxiety. Common medications your vet may suggest are:
Trazodone (often prescribed for dogs)
Gabapentin (prescribed for cats)
What causes separation anxiety in dogs and cats?
Bey says changes in routine are a common cause of separation anxiety in pets. Other causes of separation anxiety may include:
Spending time in an animal shelter
Household changes, like a new pet or baby
A traumatic event
Moving
Loud noises
New objects
Dogs and cats also pick up on human behaviors and stressors. When their owners are struggling, pets may be affected.
“A lot of pet owners are experiencing dramatic increases in their own anxiety and depression,” says Schwartz. “All of these things also impact pet health and happiness.”
What are the signs of separation anxiety in dogs and cats?
Anxiety and stress will look different from pet to pet. Watch out for common — as well as more subtle — behaviors that may suggest your pet is experiencing separation anxiety. “I notice as a veterinarian that sometimes the client just [doesn’t] realize their pet is stressed out. It’s not always very obvious,” says Bey.
Typical signs of separation anxiety in dogs include:
Increased barking or whining
Licking that causes fur loss or raw skin
Chewing or ruining items in your home
Urinating or pooping where they shouldn’t
Refusing treats or being rough taking treats
Wide eyes and big pupils
Furrowed brow with ears down or to the side
Pacing
Panting when they’re not hot
Shaking (sometimes as if they’re wet)
Being overly excited when you return home
Aggression (in some cases)
Signs of separation anxiety in cats can include:
Increased meowing
Wide eyes and big pupils
Holding whiskers flat against their cheeks or far forward
Licking or grooming that causes fur loss
Moving away from you or trying to escape
Breathing quickly (not related to exercise)
Holding their tail close to their body, staying low, or swishing their tail
Urinating or pooping outside of their litter box
Being more affectionate than usual
Most pets will show signs of separation anxiety in the first 3 to 7 minutes of leaving them alone. If your cat or dog’s behavior gets worse the longer you’re gone, it could be a sign of boredom (instead of anxiety). To determine this, you can use a remote video camera to observe your pet after you leave.
The bottom line
Some dogs and cats experience separation anxiety, which most often occurs in the first few minutes of their owner leaving. Signs of anxiety can include extra barking or meowing, panting, pacing, destructive tendencies, and wide eyes.
With behavior training, positive reinforcement, and enrichment in their environment, you can help your pet feel safe and calm when you leave. But don’t forget to consult with your pet’s vet to check for medical issues and to discuss treatment options.
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References
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Hechenleitner, M. (2022). Risk factors and behaviors associated with separation anxiety in dogs. Innovative Veterinary Care.
Horwitz, D., et al. (n.d.). Introduction to desensitization and counterconditioning. VCA Animal Hospitals.
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