Examples of Childhood Emotional Neglect and Its Effects

Children have emotional needs that must be met in order for them to grow into healthy, well-functioning adults. Parents and caregivers play a vital role in making sure these needs are met and helping children learn how to cope with their feelings and develop trusting relationships. 

When a child’s emotional needs are not met or are ignored by the adults in their lives, they experience emotional neglect.

What is childhood emotional neglect?

Childhood emotional neglect is a form of child maltreatment. It happens when a parent or caregiver fails to fulfill a child’s emotional needs.

A child’s family members play a critical role in fulfilling these needs and aiding with emotional development. Children learn how to cope with emotions by observing their parents’ and close caregivers’ behaviors. 

Children are also affected by the emotional climate of the family. When they don’t have the support and skills they need, children are at risk for experiencing difficulties with relationships and regulating their emotions as they get older.

Emotional neglect differs from other forms of child abuse and neglect. Child abuse refers to an action or failure to take action that leads to: 

• Physical or emotional harm

• Sexual abuse or exploitation

• Death of a child

Physical neglect is when a parent has the ability to provide for a child’s basic needs, but fails to do so. This can include failing to provide: 

• Food

• Shelter

• Clothing

Emotional neglect, on the other hand, is when key emotional needs are not met. This could mean an absence of:

• Love

• Emotional support

• Encouragement 

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Compared to other forms of child abuse, emotional neglect can be more difficult to detect. After all, it does not leave behind physical bruises. However, the emotional scars can be just as painful. 

Examples of childhood emotional neglect

Emotional neglect can present in many different ways between a parent/caregiver and child. Examples of childhood emotional neglect include:

• Withholding love or affection

• Not providing praise or dismissing a child’s accomplishments

• Repeatedly ignoring a child when they are in distress

• Shaming or punishing a child for their emotions

• Denying a child’s emotions

• Not spending quality time with a child

• Not engaging a child in conversation often

• Criticizing a child for their personality traits or physical appearance

• Making a child feel like they are unwanted or a burden

Signs and symptoms of childhood emotional neglect

Unlike other types of abuse, emotional neglect does not leave physical marks or scars. But it can cause physical, emotional, and behavioral reactions in children. 

Signs of emotional neglect in children include:

• Issues with food and eating

• Gastrointestinal problems

• Excessive anxiety

• Depression

• Feelings of guilt or shame

• Lack of energy

• Anger

• Temper tantrums

• Behaviors like lying, cheating, or stealing

• Difficulty trusting others

• Problems in school

• Failure to thrive without a reasonable medical explanation

Long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect

Emotional neglect can have profound effects on a child. It can affect their cognitive and emotional development, which can have long-term consequences. Emotional neglect during childhood can contribute to:

• Low self-esteem

• Hopelessness

• Perceived lack of support

• Low satisfaction in life

• Changes in stress response

Childhood emotional neglect is also linked to a higher risk of mental health disorders, such as:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Eating disorders

• Personality disorders

• Substance use disorders

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Children who experience one form of abuse often also experience other types of abuse from caregivers. This can put children at even greater risk of having physical, cognitive, emotional and social problems throughout their lives.

What can be done to heal from childhood emotional neglect?

Healing from childhood emotional neglect is possible. If you experienced emotional neglect during childhood, there are steps you can take to help cope with your experience. 

Acknowledge your experience

When you grow up in a family that has neglected your emotional needs, you may take on some of these behaviors as an adult. For example, you may deny or dismiss your own emotions. You also might find it difficult to talk about your childhood experiences.

Survivors may experience a range of emotions, including: 

• Guilt

• Shame

• Anger

• Embarrassment

You may question whether you can label your experience as traumatic, since emotional neglect doesn’t leave visible scars. It is important to remember that you do not need to have physical marks to have experienced abuse or trauma.

Understanding emotional abuse and neglect and acknowledging that you have experienced it is a critical step in healing. 

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion is a frame of mind that involves:

• Self-kindness rather than judgment

• Recognizing that all humans have imperfections and experience suffering

• Taking a mindful, open, and balanced approach to your emotions

People who have experienced emotional abuse and neglect as children tend to have less self-compassion. Some people who are mistreated as children may even blame themselves for what happened or think that they deserved it. These beliefs can make it hard to have compassion for themselves. 

Fortunately, you can learn self-compassion. You can practice self-compassion by being kind to yourself and prioritizing your physical and mental health. When you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up, you can work on remembering that we are all human and make mistakes. 

Being more compassionate toward yourself helps you understand that you did not deserve to be mistreated as a child.

Seek out support

If you have experienced childhood emotional neglect, you may be at risk for mental health conditions like: 

• Anxiety

• Depression

• PTSD 

Speaking with a professional who specializes in treating survivors of emotional abuse, neglect, and trauma can be helpful. 

Specific therapies to treat childhood emotional abuse and neglect include:

• Component-based psychotherapy (CBP): CBP was specifically developed for adult survivors of childhood emotional neglect. It incorporates aspects of several different types of therapies, including psychoanalysis and mindfulness, and focuses on building a trusting relationship between therapist and client. It can also help improve emotion regulation, reduce dissociation, and reframe the narrative of your experience.

• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR is a type of therapy developed to treat PTSD. It involves a process during which you recall past trauma while engaging in back-and-forth movements directed by a trained therapist. It has been used to treat people who have experienced a range of traumas, including emotional neglect. 

Therapists may also use other types of therapies to address childhood emotional neglect. For example, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is often used to treat emotional dysregulation. It’s common for those with a history of emotional neglect to have difficulty with this.

Mental health support and resources

Experiencing childhood emotional neglect can be painful. In some cases, it may lead to mental health conditions. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, there are resources that can help: 

• For assistance finding a treatment program or provider, contact SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). You can also use the online treatment locator tool to find a provider near you.

• If you need immediate support, contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “HOME” to 741741. Trained counselors are able to provide 24/7 support to anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis.

• If you suspect a child is currently experiencing abuse or neglect, you can make a report to your local child protective services agency. Procedures vary from state to state. For more information on how to make a report in your state, visit the Child Welfare Information Gateway. 

• You can also call or text the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 for information on how to make a report.

Why trust our experts?

Written by:

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health professional with over 10 years of clinical experience.

Edited by:

Renée Fabian, MA

Renée Fabian is the senior pet health editor at GoodRx. She’s worked for nearly 10 years as a journalist and editor across a wide range of health and well-being topics.

Reviewed by:

India B. Gomez, PhD

India B. Gomez, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with a certificate in Latin American Family Therapy. She completed her doctoral education at the California School of Professional Psychology/Alliant International University.

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