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HomeHealth TopicSexual Health

What Is a Sex Therapist? Here’s What to Expect If You Want to Focus on Intimacy

Emily Guarnotta, PsyDBrian Clista, MD
Written by Emily Guarnotta, PsyD | Reviewed by Brian Clista, MD
Published on March 4, 2024

Key takeaways:

  • A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional who has additional training in sexual health.

  • Sex therapists can treat a range of sexual issues in individuals and couples, including issues with desire, arousal, orgasms, and pain during sex.

  • Sex therapy is a type of psychotherapy. It does not involve any sexual or intimate touching between therapist and client. 

A therapist talking to a couple.
NoSystem images/E+ via Getty Images

Sex therapy is a type of therapy that is focused on treating sexual issues and concerns. It is purely talk-based and does not involve any intimate physical contact between a therapist and client. Sex therapy can be done individually, as a couple, or in a group setting.

Despite sex therapy having been around for decades, many people are unfamiliar with it. There are many misconceptions about what it is and the role of a sex therapist. This article will answer the most common questions about sex therapy. 

What is a sex therapist?

A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional who has special training in human sexuality and sexual problems. They could be a licensed psychologist, social worker, therapist, counselor, or other type of professional. 

Sex therapists know how to assess, diagnose, and treat sexual concerns. They work with clients experiencing a range of sexual health concerns across the lifespan. 

Does a sex therapist ever use sexual contact or touch?

No. It’s important to know that sex therapists do not use any type of sexual touching. Sexual contact with clients goes against the ethical code of both the American Psychological Association (APA) and the American Counseling Association (ACA). In many cases, it’s also illegal. 

Sex therapists also shouldn't cross other boundaries that could harm clients, such as sharing about their own sexual experiences. A sex therapist should maintain professional boundaries, so that the client feels safe and respected at all times.

Is sex therapy the same as surrogate partner therapy?

No. A surrogate partner is a different type of sexual health specialist. A surrogate partner works together with you and your therapist to help you further explore emotional and physical intimacy. 

In some cases, working with a surrogate partner might involve nudity or sexual touch. But it’s important to know you meet with a surrogate partner separately from your sex therapist. Your work with your sex therapist will still be limited to talk therapy only. 

Why do people see a sex therapist?

It depends. There are many reasons a person may see a sex therapist. It’s an option for people of all ages, ethnicities, genders, and sexual orientations. 

Reasons people might see a see therapist include:

As you can see, sex therapy covers a wide range of sexual concerns. Sex therapists may also have their own specialties within the field of sexual health. For example, a sex therapist may specifically work with individuals with sex addiction, or they may specialize in helping couples navigate intimacy issues in their relationships. 

What happens in sex therapy?

Sex therapy is similar to other types of talk therapy

During sex therapy, you meet with a therapist in their office or virtually, either by yourself, with a partner, or in a group setting. When sex therapy is offered in a group format, all of the group members usually have the same sexual concern.

A sex therapist uses different ways to help people, depending on the situation. These might include:

  • Talking with you about your thoughts and beliefs about sex

  • Talking with you about your sexual experiences, desires, and needs

  • Talking with you about other mental or physical health problems you’re experiencing

  • Teaching you about sex and your body

  • Teaching you and your partner(s) how to communicate better

  • Teaching you mindfulness skills

  • Giving you “homework” exercises to do at home, either on your own or with a partner

Again, it’s important to remember that treatment should never involve sexual touching between the therapist and the client.

What to expect at your first visit

The first part of sex therapy involves an intake or assessment. This could take place over one or several sessions. 

During the intake, your therapist will ask questions about your sexual health and history, as well as your partner’s, if applicable. This will help them understand your concerns and the best way to help you.

What type of ‘homework’ will I have in sex therapy?

It depends. Sometimes a sex therapist will give you exercises to do at home — either on your own or with a partner. Whether your therapist assigns “homework” will depend on what you’re working on and your personal preferences. Here are some examples. 

Sensate focus

Sensate focus is a sex therapy technique developed by pioneering sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson in the 1960s. In sensate focus, you move through five types of exercises at home with a partner, usually over several weeks:

  1. Non-genital touch

  2. Genital touching

  3. Experimentation with lotions and lubricants

  4. Mutual touching

  5. Intercourse

You practice these exercises privately and talk about your experiences when you meet with your therapist. Sensate focus can take the pressure off of you to “perform” during sex. It can also help you get in touch with your body and learn what types of experiences you enjoy. 

Over the last several decades, sensate focus has been studied extensively. It seems to be an effective treatment for many sexual concerns — including low libido, as well as problems with erections, ejaculation, and orgasm. Sensate focus can also help with pain during sex due to medical conditions, such as cancer.

Masturbation training

In some cases, a sex therapist might use masturbation training (also called “directed” masturbation). As with sensate focus, this therapy technique involves exercises that you do in the privacy of your own home. 

Masturbation training is a combination of sex education and intimate exercises. It’s most often used for women who would like to change or improve their orgasms. The goal is to teach you about your body and help you discover more sexual comfort and enjoyment. 

The training program starts with sex education, then adds on home exercises such as:

  • Exploring your body visually

  • Exploring your body through touch

  • Using erotic videos, pictures, or stories

  • Using a vibrator

  • Masturbating — both alone and with a partner

Keep in mind: Though many sex therapists use the directed masturbation therapy technique, it hasn’t been studied as much as sensate focus. 

Other types of homework

Many sex therapists also assign learning exercises for clients to do between sessions. These can help you learn more about sex in general, your body, and your relationships. Some types of homework also help you practice new skills that you’ve learned in therapy. 

Examples include:

  • Journaling about your thoughts and feelings

  • Practicing mindfulness techniques, such as breathing exercises

  • Reading educational material about sex

  • Practicing communication skills with your partner

  • Engaging in behaviors aimed at building intimacy with your partner

How can you find a sex therapist?

If you’re interested in sex therapy, finding the right therapist is important. Ideally, you should look for a therapist who:

  • Is a licensed professional

  • Holds a graduate degree in psychology, counseling, or a related field

  • Has post-graduate training in human sexuality or sexual health 

Some associations offer directories of certified sex therapists, including:

You can also find more information about working with a sex therapist from these trusted organizations:

The bottom line

Sex therapists are licensed health professionals with additional training in human sexuality. They use many techniques to help people with sexual problems. But be aware: Working with a sex therapist should never involve any direct sexual contact. 

Research over the last several decades has found that sex therapy can help treat issues with desire, arousal, and sexual performance. If you’re looking to make changes in your sex life, consider working with a sex therapist. Through talk therapy and at-home exercises, they may be able to help guide you toward creating a sex life that feels as enjoyable and authentic as possible. 

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Why trust our experts?

Emily Guarnotta, PsyD
Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health professional with over 10 years of clinical experience.
Renée Fabian, MA
Renée Fabian is the senior pet health editor at GoodRx. She’s worked for nearly 10 years as a journalist and editor across a wide range of health and well-being topics.
Brian Clista, MD
Reviewed by:
Brian Clista, MD
Dr. Clista is a board-certified pediatrician who works in private practice in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He previously served as a National Health Service Corporation Scholar in the inner city of Pittsburgh for 11 years.

References

Althof, S. E. (2010). What’s new in sex therapy (CME). The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. (n.d.). AASECT certified sex therapist.

American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. (n.d.). Certification FAQs.

American Counseling Association. (2014). 2014 ACA code of ethics.

American Psychological Association. (2017). Ethical principles of psychologists and code of conduct.

American Psychological Association. (2018). Directed masturbation.

Avery-Clark, C., et al. (2019). Sensate focus for sexual concerns: An updated, critical literature review. Current Sexual Health Reports.

California Department of Consumer Affairs. (2019). Therapy never includes sexual behavior

International Society for Sexual Medicine. (n.d.). What happens during sex therapy?

Kinsey Institute Indiana University. (n.d.). Masters & Johnson collection.

Linschoten, M., et al. (2015). Sensate focus: A critical literature review. Sexual and Relationship Therapy.

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