How Can You Help Someone Go to Rehab?
Key takeaways:
As a family member or friend, you can encourage a loved one to go to rehab by expressing your concerns and offering to help them find a treatment program.
Community reinforcement and family training is a non-confrontational approach that teaches families ways to motivate their loved ones to seek treatment for substance use disorders.
You can continue to show support for your loved one while they are in rehab and afterward by participating in family therapy, supporting their relapse prevention plan, and offering to attend a support group together.
Rehab is a form of treatment for substance use disorders that provides therapy, medications, and other services. There are many different types of rehab programs available that offer a range of services.
Inpatient rehab provides a structured environment for people to stay for a period of time and focus exclusively on their recovery. Outpatient rehab offers day treatment, but does not provide a place to stay.
Rehab can help people with substance use disorders stop using and improve the quality of their lives. If someone you know has a problem with drugs or alcohol, then rehab may be able to help. Read on to learn more about how to help a person go to rehab and support their recovery.
What’s the best way to help someone go to rehab?
Getting a loved one to agree to go to rehab can be challenging. Some people may recognize that their use of drugs or alcohol is taking over their lives and want to get help. But others may feel conflicted about their substance use.
Before talking to your loved one, do some research. This way you will be prepared for a conversation. Read up on things like:
Addiction and substance use dependence
The roles of family in addiction and recovery
Local treatment options and costs
After you have gathered information, prepare to sit down with your loved one to talk about your concerns. When talking to a person about getting help, try to keep the following points in mind:
Find an appropriate place and time. Timing is important when it comes to these conversations. Find a space that is private and a time when your loved one is calm.
Express your concerns with empathy and compassion. Explain why you are concerned about them. Avoid getting angry or raising your voice. Keep the conversation focused on the topic at hand and your concerns. For example, you might say, “It seems like you’ve been very withdrawn lately. I’m concerned that you might be using again.”
Offer to help. Let your loved one know that treatment is available and offer to help them find a rehab or provider. If they refuse, be patient. You cannot force them to go to rehab. And pushing them too hard may make them more defensive. Let them know that you respect their wishes and are there to help if they change their mind.
Listen. Be sure to listen to the person rather than dominate the conversation. Give them an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings.
What should you NOT do to help someone go to rehab?
When it comes to trying to get a loved one to go to rehab, some strategies can lead to more defensiveness and anger. One of these is shaming a person for their substance use.
Addiction is a brain disease that affects a person’s self-control. Blaming or shaming a person for their addiction can make them feel worse and actually lead them to self-medicate with more drugs and alcohol. Shame can negatively impact a person’s recovery. Instead, be understanding, compassionate, and encouraging.
Some people wonder whether holding an intervention is a successful way to get a person to go to rehab. Research on this approach is mixed. Some experts argue that confrontational approaches are not the best way to communicate with a loved one who may need treatment.
Community reinforcement and family training (CRAFT) is an alternative to the typical intervention method. CRAFT helps family members encourage a loved one’s motivation for change. This is done through strategies like rewarding achievements in recovery and communicating more effectively.
Research suggests that CRAFT is an effective intervention for family members and might work better than other approaches. To learn more about CRAFT, see the free CRAFT course provided by the Veterans Administration.
How can you support someone while they’re in rehab?
There are several ways that you can support your loved one once they decide to get help.
Make treatment more manageable
Putting your life on hold to go to treatment can be difficult for many people. As a family member or friend, there may be ways that you can make treatment less stressful. For example, you could:
Provide transportation
Help with childcare or household tasks
Cover some of the costs
Offer to handle some of their responsibilities while they are away
Attend family therapy
Family involvement in treatment is associated with greater engagement and better outcomes. Family therapy focuses on the roles, relationships, and communication patterns among different family members.
The goal of family therapy is to improve these areas so that they support a person’s recovery. Most rehab centers encourage family participation in the treatment process.
Focus on your self-care and support
Taking time to work on yourself is a good idea while your loved one is in treatment. Substance use affects family members in many ways, and there may be ways that you unintentionally enable your loved one’s addiction.
Seeking your own therapy or attending a support group like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon can give you an opportunity to focus on yourself while your loved one is getting better. And don’t forget to set boundaries around your time, energy, and resources when supporting someone else.
How can you support someone once they’re finished with rehab?
Supporting a loved one’s recovery is an ongoing process that continues even after treatment is over. Some of the ways that you can demonstrate your support include:
Reviewing their relapse prevention plan: A relapse prevention plan identifies high-risk situations for relapse and ways to intervene if a person feels triggered or has a relapse. As a family member or friend, you can help your loved one develop their relapse prevention plan or review an existing plan. This will give you a sense of how you can support them if they feel triggered or do have a relapse.
Staying sober around them: Even if your loved one says it’s OK, never use drugs or alcohol in front of them. Cravings are common and seeing other people using substances can be very tempting. To be safe, always stay sober when you are around a person in recovery.
Attending recovery meetings together: Some addiction recovery groups hold open meetings, where people who are not in recovery can attend. You can show your support by offering to attend a meeting with your loved one. Some people may prefer to attend alone. If this happens, don’t take it personally. It’s most important that the person feels comfortable when attending support groups.
Also be sure to ask your loved one how you can best support them. You might be surprised to learn what they feel would be most helpful.
The bottom line
Family and friends play a critical role in encouraging a person with an addiction to seek help. Generally, approaches like CRAFT, which are non-confrontational and encourage change, are most effective. Once your loved one has agreed to go to rehab, you can continue to lend your support in a number of ways. For example, you can participate in family therapy and stay sober in their presence.
Why trust our experts?
References
American Psychological Association. (2011). Community reinforcement and family training (CRAFT).
American Psychological Association. (2011). Johnson intervention.
Batchelder, A. W., et al. (2022). The shame spiral of addiction: Negative self-conscious emotion and substance use. PLoS One.
Meyers, R. J., et al. (2011). The community reinforcement approach. Alcohol Research & Health.
National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2019). Treatment approaches for drug addiction.
National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2020). Drugs, brains, and behavior: The science of addiction.
New York State. (n.d.). Supporting a loved one in recovery.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (n.d.). Supporting a loved one dealing with mental and/or substance use disorders.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2021). The importance of family therapy in substance use disorder treatment.
White, W., et al. (2007). The use of confrontation in addiction treatment history, science, and time for change. Counselor.
If you or someone you know struggles with substance use, help is available. Call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 to learn about resources in your area.
